CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 140 "My Son Left Today"A collection of poetry
73 total reviews
Comment from Josipher32
This was a very sad-toned quatrain poem. It is always hard to say goodbye, although some people love to say goodbye to family members after Thanksgiving. ((Ha!!))
Great chain rhyming scheme.
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2008
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This was a very sad-toned quatrain poem. It is always hard to say goodbye, although some people love to say goodbye to family members after Thanksgiving. ((Ha!!))
Great chain rhyming scheme.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2008
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(Time for Uncle Bill & Aunt Ginny to go now! - Ha!!) Always love every precious moment with my kids. 2 more will be leaving tomorrow. Thanks so much for your kind review and comments on the chain rhyme (very tricky!) - With regards, Sue
Comment from wirenut
Sixteezkid,
i am confused, i have been praying for my kids to leave, so far, most have, some have come back, and some are on their way out to come back when the world kicks them in the face but i get the jist of the poem, so hard to watch them go, so happy to see them leave...
well done
rick
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2008
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Sixteezkid,
i am confused, i have been praying for my kids to leave, so far, most have, some have come back, and some are on their way out to come back when the world kicks them in the face but i get the jist of the poem, so hard to watch them go, so happy to see them leave...
well done
rick
Comment Written 01-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2008
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I've been hearing a lot of that lately. (kids coming back to live). "Tough ole world out there, kids....now it's your turn" HA! Love them to visit. Wish the lived closer, though. Thanks for your very kind review and comments. Regards, Sue
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Sixteezkid, I never understood parents who were happy when their kids left to go back to college, their new homes, or where ever the military stationed them. I always felt like a part of me left home, too, when my daughter left. Bittersweet quatrain for the contest. Good luck.
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2008
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Sixteezkid, I never understood parents who were happy when their kids left to go back to college, their new homes, or where ever the military stationed them. I always felt like a part of me left home, too, when my daughter left. Bittersweet quatrain for the contest. Good luck.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2008
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Yes, I wish my kids lived closer. Different world now..school and jobs take them far away. But in heart, thankfully we are all so close. Thank you for your very kind review and comments. With regards, Sue
Comment from mark tree
sixteezkid,
a moving message. It is bitter sweet when we can only see our children ever so often. It took me a minute to recognize the rhyme scheme as chain rhyme, but you got it right. However for me, except for the last stanza, it didn't flow as well as maybe it could have.
mark tree....
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reply by the author on 01-Dec-2008
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sixteezkid,
a moving message. It is bitter sweet when we can only see our children ever so often. It took me a minute to recognize the rhyme scheme as chain rhyme, but you got it right. However for me, except for the last stanza, it didn't flow as well as maybe it could have.
mark tree....
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2008
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Mark, thank you for your kind review and taking the time to comments. Very much appreciated, Sue
Comment from debskatz
Hi kid,
What a sweet poem! And very well written. All the rhymes are great & nothing seems forced. Good job!
smiles,
deb
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2008
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Hi kid,
What a sweet poem! And very well written. All the rhymes are great & nothing seems forced. Good job!
smiles,
deb
Comment Written 01-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2008
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Deb, glad you enjoyed this piece. Thank you for your very kind review and words. With regards, Sue
Comment from Alexander E Poet
Where did he go? Lovely expression of poetry, your work flow together, I like the images. There was lots of passion here and a lot of food for thought. With a good message this is a Great poem There was no error. No typos. Nothing to change. Check out one of mines, I look forward to your next write
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2008
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Where did he go? Lovely expression of poetry, your work flow together, I like the images. There was lots of passion here and a lot of food for thought. With a good message this is a Great poem There was no error. No typos. Nothing to change. Check out one of mines, I look forward to your next write
Comment Written 01-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2008
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BRQQKLYN, thank you for reading and taking the time for all your comments. And I appreciate your very generous review. With regards, Sue
Comment from EllieKaye
Hi Sixteez,
I am up early because I just said goodbye to my daughter, who is heading back to college- way across on the other side of the country. It's so hard to have them go!
I loved your poem. I got a sense of who your son is, and the fun in his personality.
:) Ellie
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2008
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Hi Sixteez,
I am up early because I just said goodbye to my daughter, who is heading back to college- way across on the other side of the country. It's so hard to have them go!
I loved your poem. I got a sense of who your son is, and the fun in his personality.
:) Ellie
Comment Written 01-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2008
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Ellie, so glad part of his personality did come thru - ha! He sure has a great sense of humor...and a very good heart. My daughter is also leaving tomorrow to go back to college. Boo hoo! So glad you enjoyed this piece. And thank you for your very kind review. With regards, Sue
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Well, enjoy your quiet time. I have sat around watching t.v. all day- which is unlike me! Not depressed- just not used to the silence. LOL
I DO have one at home still. How about you?
At least there is some noise when the XBox wars begin everyday at about 2.
:)
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In these times, you will NEVER stop hearing x-boxes and nintendos. I have my 30 year old son and 23 year old daughter (with their 24 year old cousin) in the other room right now on Nintendo Wii.....the noise will always be there! HA!!!
It starts to sound better, the older they get!
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At least there is something to look forward to! Ha!
Comment from nicci_sawhney
very enjoyable.
You leave a strong image of the son in my head.
I like the way you've structured the stanzas and the rhyme pattern.
Well done with the re-write of the final stanza...lovin it
Tears of love leave the day
I'm not quite sure what you mean here.
Otherwise, fab poem
well done
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2008
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very enjoyable.
You leave a strong image of the son in my head.
I like the way you've structured the stanzas and the rhyme pattern.
Well done with the re-write of the final stanza...lovin it
Tears of love leave the day
I'm not quite sure what you mean here.
Otherwise, fab poem
well done
Comment Written 01-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2008
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Nicci, thank you for highlighting the last stanza issue. 2nd time today and I am going to re-visit that. Perhaps too vague. Will refine it. I really appreciate your honest critique and glad that, overall, you enjoyed it. Much appreciated, Sue
Comment from Judian James
This is nice Sue. I've never seen this exact rhyme scheme before. The repetition made it more emotional for the reader in grasping your feelings of letting go. I'm not sure I completely "get" the final verse. I think there may be better word choices for what you're trying to convey imho
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2008
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This is nice Sue. I've never seen this exact rhyme scheme before. The repetition made it more emotional for the reader in grasping your feelings of letting go. I'm not sure I completely "get" the final verse. I think there may be better word choices for what you're trying to convey imho
Comment Written 01-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2008
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Judy, thank you very much for your kind review and specific comments. After reading your review, someone else made comments on that final verse. And I agree. It needs to have a bit more clarity and I appreciate your highlighting that. With regards, Sue
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Hey Sue. I'm not Judy. I'm either Jude or Judian. I've never been Judy.
I suppose if you wanted to, I could be Judi!! Thanks
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I really like JUDE! Very cool name. I bet you could not count the times people have said, "Hey, Jude"! ha! - While you're here, if you have a moment, could you have a look at my new last stanza? Your honesty is always respected and appreciated! Sue
Comment from Paul Greatrix
Hello. This is a very sentimental poem, loaded with emotion. You have captured the bitter sweet essence of only having a short period with a loved one. Well done.
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2008
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Hello. This is a very sentimental poem, loaded with emotion. You have captured the bitter sweet essence of only having a short period with a loved one. Well done.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2008
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Paul, thank you for your very kind review and I'm glad you enjoyed this piece. With regards, Sue