CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 142 "In Shatters"A collection of poetry
87 total reviews
Comment from Poetic Friend
I have pondered the same question. I like the phiosophica tone of this poem. Great usage of metaphors and poetic form.
The ending is sharp as your metaphor.
Great job!
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I have pondered the same question. I like the phiosophica tone of this poem. Great usage of metaphors and poetic form.
The ending is sharp as your metaphor.
Great job!
Comment Written 27-Nov-2008
Comment from Donovan
Certainly is truism. Words make the deepest cuts of all. That old school yard adage of sticks and stones is the biggest lie we tell. Good job.
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Certainly is truism. Words make the deepest cuts of all. That old school yard adage of sticks and stones is the biggest lie we tell. Good job.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2008
Comment from The Guardian
An effective metaphor--shards of reflective glass reverberate and multiply the effects of hurtful words. In Jewish Law, there is a law "Lashon Harah" or evil tongue. Plain English, it means that speaking ill is like killing them over and over again. In fact, a parable describes words like the feathers of a pillow blown for miles. Once the pillow is ripped open and the feathers (aka words) are released, there is no way to recover them all. So with words. Once we release them, we have no control over their effects to the recipient.
The teractys and its use in multiple verses complements this verse. It behaves like a mirror, also amplifying and reflecting.
Well done!
Merle
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An effective metaphor--shards of reflective glass reverberate and multiply the effects of hurtful words. In Jewish Law, there is a law "Lashon Harah" or evil tongue. Plain English, it means that speaking ill is like killing them over and over again. In fact, a parable describes words like the feathers of a pillow blown for miles. Once the pillow is ripped open and the feathers (aka words) are released, there is no way to recover them all. So with words. Once we release them, we have no control over their effects to the recipient.
The teractys and its use in multiple verses complements this verse. It behaves like a mirror, also amplifying and reflecting.
Well done!
Merle
Comment Written 27-Nov-2008
Comment from utopian_dream_x
A very interesting structure, The first word 'why' gripped me when I seen it sitting alone on the first line. A well written poem, I felt the pain when reading it.
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A very interesting structure, The first word 'why' gripped me when I seen it sitting alone on the first line. A well written poem, I felt the pain when reading it.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2008
Comment from Stephen C Winter (Vs
dear Sixteezkid,
A well composed poem, Yes words can penetrate our soul causing such hurt..This a great one.
Goodness I see you are busy raising children, how do you get the time to write such wonderful poetry, (lol)
Kind regards
Steve
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dear Sixteezkid,
A well composed poem, Yes words can penetrate our soul causing such hurt..This a great one.
Goodness I see you are busy raising children, how do you get the time to write such wonderful poetry, (lol)
Kind regards
Steve
Comment Written 27-Nov-2008
Comment from Ian Ayris
Very good, again, Sixteezkid. Every word does its job and the message is strong. Love the colour scheme. The only point I'd pick up is that line four, according to your notes, should have four words instead of three. Perhaps something like 'For once they fly' or 'For once they touch' or something like that.
Once again, thank you very much for a stimulating read.
Warmest regards,
Ian
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Very good, again, Sixteezkid. Every word does its job and the message is strong. Love the colour scheme. The only point I'd pick up is that line four, according to your notes, should have four words instead of three. Perhaps something like 'For once they fly' or 'For once they touch' or something like that.
Once again, thank you very much for a stimulating read.
Warmest regards,
Ian
Comment Written 27-Nov-2008
Comment from honeytree
Wounding with words can shatter our body and soul and can take a while to get over such a hurt. I loved the art work and words written as words hurt deep as a cut is healed by stitches. We know how hurt we can become when an argument occurs with some one we love. The healing can take a long time.
Great words written.
Honeytree.
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Wounding with words can shatter our body and soul and can take a while to get over such a hurt. I loved the art work and words written as words hurt deep as a cut is healed by stitches. We know how hurt we can become when an argument occurs with some one we love. The healing can take a long time.
Great words written.
Honeytree.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2008
Comment from Perp Ihebom
This is really a beautiful poem. The message is absolutely great. The words we speak can do a lot of good and a whole lot of bad. I Like the form of poetry you used to express this universal truism. kudos
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This is really a beautiful poem. The message is absolutely great. The words we speak can do a lot of good and a whole lot of bad. I Like the form of poetry you used to express this universal truism. kudos
Comment Written 27-Nov-2008
Comment from nora arjuna
hi there sixteezkid
this was a great double tetractys
well composed according the form requirements
contains great message to ponder on
all the best in the contest
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hi there sixteezkid
this was a great double tetractys
well composed according the form requirements
contains great message to ponder on
all the best in the contest
Comment Written 27-Nov-2008
Comment from jamar2
This style is new to me, but have read it through and see no errors, very interesting though, good luck with this poem. many thanks
Jamar.
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This style is new to me, but have read it through and see no errors, very interesting though, good luck with this poem. many thanks
Jamar.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2008