Murder One
Jury Duty - Is she telling the truth?78 total reviews
Comment from Sandollar
Wow! This is exactly what I had in mind when I created this prompt. I love a story with a trick ending and you delivered.
If I were on the jury, I'd have voted for acquittal; you were just that convincing. The story moved right along and kept up my interest until the end. I can tell you had fun writing this and that's what it was all about. Good luck with the contest and thanks for entering.
I found no errors.
Sandollar
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2008
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Wow! This is exactly what I had in mind when I created this prompt. I love a story with a trick ending and you delivered.
If I were on the jury, I'd have voted for acquittal; you were just that convincing. The story moved right along and kept up my interest until the end. I can tell you had fun writing this and that's what it was all about. Good luck with the contest and thanks for entering.
I found no errors.
Sandollar
Comment Written 16-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2008
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:-) Now, this is the review I've been waiting for! Thank you so much for creating the prompt! I did have a wonderful time writing this! You made my day with this review!
Jan
Comment from Jnetgame
This is a great story. Very well thought out. I loved the part about calling one of the jurors bulldog. I think this will be a tough one to beat in the contest. Good luck.
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2008
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This is a great story. Very well thought out. I loved the part about calling one of the jurors bulldog. I think this will be a tough one to beat in the contest. Good luck.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2008
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Thank you so much for the terrific review. :-) I'm glad you liked the bulldog analogy.
Jan
Comment from Kristile1
This is so great!!! Love the plot. Your talent is just amazing. I enjoy reading everything you write.
The story that unfolds here made me question if she was partial to a trial as this due to being abused by a husband herself. But what a whirlwind to find out that she was his first wife!!! HA I loved it.
Thanks for sharing
Kristile1
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2008
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This is so great!!! Love the plot. Your talent is just amazing. I enjoy reading everything you write.
The story that unfolds here made me question if she was partial to a trial as this due to being abused by a husband herself. But what a whirlwind to find out that she was his first wife!!! HA I loved it.
Thanks for sharing
Kristile1
Comment Written 16-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2008
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Thank you so much! I am thrilled to know you enjoyed it so much!
Jan
Comment from pitmanette
I was going to try this contest, but after reading yours I'm not sure I should even make the effort. Yours is so good! Of course you lied in the voir dire, because I know they ask if you've a connection to any of the parties. Thanks for letting me read it.
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2008
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I was going to try this contest, but after reading yours I'm not sure I should even make the effort. Yours is so good! Of course you lied in the voir dire, because I know they ask if you've a connection to any of the parties. Thanks for letting me read it.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2008
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Of course you should try this contest! It is a lot of fun and people don't always like what I write. LOL I have lost far more contests than I ever won. Thank you so much for the wonderful review! Yes, I know she lied, but she did it for the greater good.
Jan
Comment from MissCellanea
Jan, If I ever end up being on trial for the murder of my ex, will you please, please, please, sit in my juror's box?
Your story carried through from beginning to end, quite riveting. I appreciated your use of the jurors' names along with their numbers. It was a nice touch!
When the speaker was making eye contact, no hyphen was used. The next couple times, a hyphen was placed between the words. In these instances, I don't believe hyphens are necessary. Maybe not necessary between life and insurance (policy), as it describes the policy.
Great read. Surprise twist in the end got me! Best wishes for the contest. Sue
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2008
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Jan, If I ever end up being on trial for the murder of my ex, will you please, please, please, sit in my juror's box?
Your story carried through from beginning to end, quite riveting. I appreciated your use of the jurors' names along with their numbers. It was a nice touch!
When the speaker was making eye contact, no hyphen was used. The next couple times, a hyphen was placed between the words. In these instances, I don't believe hyphens are necessary. Maybe not necessary between life and insurance (policy), as it describes the policy.
Great read. Surprise twist in the end got me! Best wishes for the contest. Sue
Comment Written 16-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2008
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Oops! Forgot to take that hyphen out. I will correct that. I tend to overuse them. Thank you so much for the terrific review! Oh, and I corrected the second one, too. :-)
Jan
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Hyphens are a curse, aren't they? Right now, I'm having an argument with my commas! Sue
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Oh, no! Not commas! Auughh! (grin)
Jan
Comment from wierdgrace
I could not stop reading this until I reached the end. now this is a excellents and enjoyable mystery. What a great writer. I found no errors and no revisions. and I must say the characters are so real, and the story made me feel inside of it. I wanted to vote as well. great writer you are. I am so impressed.
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2008
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I could not stop reading this until I reached the end. now this is a excellents and enjoyable mystery. What a great writer. I found no errors and no revisions. and I must say the characters are so real, and the story made me feel inside of it. I wanted to vote as well. great writer you are. I am so impressed.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2008
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Thank you so much! You are way too kind, but I sure appreciate all those nice things you said! :-)
Jan
Comment from dreaming
This was a great plot and a wonderful Agatha Christie murder type of writing in a short form. I really enjoyed it and related with the jurors ok. In real life I have been a Juror and our rule here is that you do not know the accused or are related to them. I guess you can use writers' privilege to get your story across! It sounded like fun. No corrections as you are a perfect grammarian and speller. You deserve six stars in my books. MarieS Dreaming
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2008
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This was a great plot and a wonderful Agatha Christie murder type of writing in a short form. I really enjoyed it and related with the jurors ok. In real life I have been a Juror and our rule here is that you do not know the accused or are related to them. I guess you can use writers' privilege to get your story across! It sounded like fun. No corrections as you are a perfect grammarian and speller. You deserve six stars in my books. MarieS Dreaming
Comment Written 16-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2008
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Yes, that is exactly what I used. Of course, she had to lie to be on the jury, but she knew the woman was innocent. A case of acting for the greater good! LOL I really appreciate the kind words. Thank you also for considering it six star worthy - that is good enough for me! :-)
Jan
Comment from davidray
Hi Jan,
YOu had fun writing it ans I sure had a ball reading it too! Terrific combination of narration and dialogue. Excellent little touch at the end.
Hmm. I was gonna enter this contest ... maybe I won't now. Tee hee.
Best wishes. This one is a dandy!!
David
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2008
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Hi Jan,
YOu had fun writing it ans I sure had a ball reading it too! Terrific combination of narration and dialogue. Excellent little touch at the end.
Hmm. I was gonna enter this contest ... maybe I won't now. Tee hee.
Best wishes. This one is a dandy!!
David
Comment Written 16-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2008
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Yes, I did enjoy writing it, and I am thrilled to hear how much you enjoyed reading it! Where is your entry????? :-)
Jan
Comment from mmichelle97219
Good one, Janilou. I thought it was very clever, and the twist at the end was great. Good luck in the contest. I know you will do well.
Michelle
PS Check out my latest contest Demon Parole
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2008
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Good one, Janilou. I thought it was very clever, and the twist at the end was great. Good luck in the contest. I know you will do well.
Michelle
PS Check out my latest contest Demon Parole
Comment Written 16-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2008
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Thank you so much, Michelle! I will certainly check that out right now!
Jan
Comment from carolm5415
Very cleverly done and I sure hope that no one finds out who you really are or your ass will be grass! Now let's get Dane and Daryl sewed up and all will end well! Excellent!
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2008
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Very cleverly done and I sure hope that no one finds out who you really are or your ass will be grass! Now let's get Dane and Daryl sewed up and all will end well! Excellent!
Comment Written 16-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2008
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Thank you so much! Yes, indeed, they need to be sewn up, that's for sure!
Glad you liked it.
Jan