Parts are Parts
Parts of my Body are...Part Fiction~Part Non-Fiction50 total reviews
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Good artwork and nice presentation.
-You did a good job with your poem.
-Effective imagery and rhyme.
-I would think that most people are
faced with things that happen to their
body when aging.
-I like your lines about your joints and
you manage to get in a little humor
with your ortho doctor's response about "a bone to pick."
-It is important to keep your brain sharp. I read, do crosswords,
and write on FanStory, as well as read and review.
-A good closing couplet; good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2024
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-Good artwork and nice presentation.
-You did a good job with your poem.
-Effective imagery and rhyme.
-I would think that most people are
faced with things that happen to their
body when aging.
-I like your lines about your joints and
you manage to get in a little humor
with your ortho doctor's response about "a bone to pick."
-It is important to keep your brain sharp. I read, do crosswords,
and write on FanStory, as well as read and review.
-A good closing couplet; good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 13-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2024
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Thanks so much, Pam, for the awesome comments for my body parts poem. It was a fun one to do and I sure appreciate your kindness. Thanks so much for the extra you did for the poem.
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You are very welcome, and I appreciate your reply very much.
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I hope you pick out which line is yours for my latest friendship and thank you poem.
Comment from Begin Again
Oh, dear me! I couldn't help but chuckle from beginning to end...especially your humor with the pupils will di-late. Your poem made me think of Johnny Cash as he sang his song about one piece at a time. Of course, he was talking about cars, but so much of our bodies get replaced with metal that we can set off the alarms.
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2024
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Oh, dear me! I couldn't help but chuckle from beginning to end...especially your humor with the pupils will di-late. Your poem made me think of Johnny Cash as he sang his song about one piece at a time. Of course, he was talking about cars, but so much of our bodies get replaced with metal that we can set off the alarms.
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 13-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2024
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Thanks so much, Carol, for the awesome comments for my body parts poem. It was a fun one to do and I sure appreciate your kindness.
Comment from Wendy G
This humorous poem has a lot of clever elements and you have written it well. I particularly liked to last line with its play on words. Sending yu best wishes for the contest.
Wendy
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2024
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This humorous poem has a lot of clever elements and you have written it well. I particularly liked to last line with its play on words. Sending yu best wishes for the contest.
Wendy
Comment Written 13-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2024
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Thanks so much, Wendy, for the awesome comments for my body parts poem. It was a fun one to do and I sure appreciate your kindness.
Comment from zanya
Ah -ha - so well structured here this poem of 'Your Body.' Great title and subtitle and some wonderful linguistic gymnastics, if I may use that term- wish I had a 6 left. Has my vote,
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2024
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Ah -ha - so well structured here this poem of 'Your Body.' Great title and subtitle and some wonderful linguistic gymnastics, if I may use that term- wish I had a 6 left. Has my vote,
Comment Written 13-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2024
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Thanks so much, Zanya, for the awesome comments for my body parts poem. It was a fun one to do and I sure appreciate your kindness.
Comment from karenina
" The pupils will be last to go, cause they will both di-late "
THAT line alone is deserving of six shiny (and chuckling) stars...but it's Thursday and...
This is very funny, and I love your innuendo.
Also clever? Rhyming "clear" with "mirror"-- it's so close it works and lends another layer of humor!
I predict great things for this entry!
Karenina
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2024
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" The pupils will be last to go, cause they will both di-late "
THAT line alone is deserving of six shiny (and chuckling) stars...but it's Thursday and...
This is very funny, and I love your innuendo.
Also clever? Rhyming "clear" with "mirror"-- it's so close it works and lends another layer of humor!
I predict great things for this entry!
Karenina
Comment Written 13-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2024
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Thanks so much, Karenina, for the awesome comments for my body parts poem. It was a fun one to do and I sure appreciate your kindness.
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Super fun poem!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Old age is a trial and we battle with failing parts inside us as we grow old. Keeping in good shape takes lots of effort, daily exercise and a good diet can improve our health even as we age.
I loved the humour in your poem and you made me smile as I was reading this as I can identify with all your words here, a fun post, great rhymes and I wish you luck with the contest, a fun read, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2024
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Old age is a trial and we battle with failing parts inside us as we grow old. Keeping in good shape takes lots of effort, daily exercise and a good diet can improve our health even as we age.
I loved the humour in your poem and you made me smile as I was reading this as I can identify with all your words here, a fun post, great rhymes and I wish you luck with the contest, a fun read, love Dolly x
Comment Written 13-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2024
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Thanks so much, Dolly, for the awesome comments for my body parts poem. It was a fun one to do and I sure appreciate your kindness.
Comment from Patrick Bernardy
Hello!
The disintergration of your narrator's body is terrifying, but there seems to be lots of spirit still left!
There were a couple things I wanted to mention that you can fix if you agree.
---"he's never heard me......" Ellipses are only three periods ("..."). Having more than that is done often enough, but it is considered informal.
---"and most [of] my joints have been replaced" --I want to read a preposition in there. Up to you, though!
Good luck in the contest!
Patrick
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2024
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Hello!
The disintergration of your narrator's body is terrifying, but there seems to be lots of spirit still left!
There were a couple things I wanted to mention that you can fix if you agree.
---"he's never heard me......" Ellipses are only three periods ("..."). Having more than that is done often enough, but it is considered informal.
---"and most [of] my joints have been replaced" --I want to read a preposition in there. Up to you, though!
Good luck in the contest!
Patrick
Comment Written 12-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2024
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You will find there are so many here that don't believe in the ellipses rules, but you will maybe see that as time goes by, or you will get us all to follow them. LOL.
Also I am so serious about my meter and syllable count that I would rather risk the grammar and miss a preposition than screw that up. So I will just find another way to say it.
Thanks for the awesome review and I appreciate the awesome feedback as well as the kind comments.
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Haha! Yeah, you nailed it. The fact that more people extend the ellipses than don't (as you said) was what I was trying to imply. But I wouldn't be a good grammarian if I didn't mention it, for whatever it's worth. Yeah, fulfilling all variables in some poetry forms is extremely difficult. Good luck if you choose to find a reword!
Comment from Brenda Strauser
I enjoyed reading your poem. Sounds like my body. I'm falling apart. I like how you described parts of yout body. The picture is a good choice for your poem. Great writing.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2024
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I enjoyed reading your poem. Sounds like my body. I'm falling apart. I like how you described parts of yout body. The picture is a good choice for your poem. Great writing.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2024
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Thanks so much, Brenda, for the awesome comments for my body parts poem. It was a fun one to do and I sure appreciate your kindness.
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I really like it.
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
An excellent entry for the Your Body writing prompt. This poem was humorous and fun to read! Good job making double use of some of the words. Love it.
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reply by the author on 13-Sep-2024
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An excellent entry for the Your Body writing prompt. This poem was humorous and fun to read! Good job making double use of some of the words. Love it.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2024
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Thanks so much, Mariilyn, for the awesome comments for my body parts poem. It was a fun one to do and I sure appreciate your kindness.
Comment from lancellot
Hmm, well, I applaud the effort and the work you put into creating a funny filled poem that many on the site will find relatable.
The rhyming couplet scheme is solid, and I think will do well in the contest.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2024
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Hmm, well, I applaud the effort and the work you put into creating a funny filled poem that many on the site will find relatable.
The rhyming couplet scheme is solid, and I think will do well in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2024
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Thanks so much, Lance, for the awesome comments for my body parts poem. It was a fun one to do and I sure appreciate your kindness.