Halloween Race
Night racing43 total reviews
Comment from Eli. Nightingale
I don't think that I have ever read a poem about a horse race before, or quite like this one. Points for originality. At first, I wasn't sure how interested I was, but I found myself more amused by the play on words with "finishing dead last, and then I chuckled at the "finishing dead first."
Things I liked: As I mentioned above, the little twist of words was fun. I liked that it was an original story. The rhyme and meter itself flowed well. I liked the idea of zombies betting on dead horse races.
Things I didn't like: When I started the poem, I didn't expect for it to be about Halloween. When I came to that stanza, it derailed me for a moment. I was enjoying the story about the horse, and the sudden mention of Halloween threw me for a loop, because I didn't really see how these two things were related. What simultaneously impressed me though was that the bit about seeing ghosts of horses and jockeys on the field brought me back into the story again. I like the bit about ghosts and I know the season is all Halloween, but I almost like the idea of Halloween not having anything to do with it and the ghosts just being there, just because. (It could be because right now, everything has been over saturated with Halloween.)
I wouldn't change a thing though, all opinions aside.
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reply by the author on 30-Oct-2023
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I don't think that I have ever read a poem about a horse race before, or quite like this one. Points for originality. At first, I wasn't sure how interested I was, but I found myself more amused by the play on words with "finishing dead last, and then I chuckled at the "finishing dead first."
Things I liked: As I mentioned above, the little twist of words was fun. I liked that it was an original story. The rhyme and meter itself flowed well. I liked the idea of zombies betting on dead horse races.
Things I didn't like: When I started the poem, I didn't expect for it to be about Halloween. When I came to that stanza, it derailed me for a moment. I was enjoying the story about the horse, and the sudden mention of Halloween threw me for a loop, because I didn't really see how these two things were related. What simultaneously impressed me though was that the bit about seeing ghosts of horses and jockeys on the field brought me back into the story again. I like the bit about ghosts and I know the season is all Halloween, but I almost like the idea of Halloween not having anything to do with it and the ghosts just being there, just because. (It could be because right now, everything has been over saturated with Halloween.)
I wouldn't change a thing though, all opinions aside.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2023
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Thanks for the in depth review, Eli. There really is a race track in Union, Main on route seventeen. I have squandered a few dollars there over the past fifty years.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Loved the story Paul, love the races, been to Ascot and Leeds and my husband had a friend with a race horse, it is an exciting game to be in. Well chosen words and perfect rhythm in this skilful poem and ideal for the Halloween contest as those ghosts still haunt the race track. Do you ever watch the Grand National in England? Congratulations on your 100th post, a fine poem to celebrate with, love Dolly x x x
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reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
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Loved the story Paul, love the races, been to Ascot and Leeds and my husband had a friend with a race horse, it is an exciting game to be in. Well chosen words and perfect rhythm in this skilful poem and ideal for the Halloween contest as those ghosts still haunt the race track. Do you ever watch the Grand National in England? Congratulations on your 100th post, a fine poem to celebrate with, love Dolly x x x
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
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Thanks, Christine. I use to go to the fair traces that took place around our state, but I haven't been going as much lately. I do love to watch the horses run.
Comment from Jim Wile
This was a wonderful ballad, Paul. You told a great story here of a courageous horse who gave his all to finish first, then expired shortly after. But the neat part is that he gets to run that race every year and win again on Halloween.
This was a clever, original poem that rhymed and flowed very well. - Jim
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
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This was a wonderful ballad, Paul. You told a great story here of a courageous horse who gave his all to finish first, then expired shortly after. But the neat part is that he gets to run that race every year and win again on Halloween.
This was a clever, original poem that rhymed and flowed very well. - Jim
Comment Written 29-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
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Thanks, Jim. I use to go to that track every summer at fair time. Last year we had a really bad storm, and it washed part of the track away. They decided it was too costly to repair, so the track is now closed.
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That's a shame, but at least you've kept it alive with your poem.