Silent Symphony
A secret place gives comfort.46 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. I enjoyed reading and enjoyed the peace your entry brings to us.
I will always have been there. (This sentence reads a little awkward to me. I will is future tense and have been past participle. It just might be me. What do other reviewers say?)
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2023
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Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. I enjoyed reading and enjoyed the peace your entry brings to us.
I will always have been there. (This sentence reads a little awkward to me. I will is future tense and have been past participle. It just might be me. What do other reviewers say?)
Comment Written 04-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2023
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Thanks for the review! I received specific positives on that phrase from two other reviewers. It is future perfect continuous tense.
Comment from R. Marc Goodson
I like it! Having spent a good deal of my life surrounded by these sorts of forests, I know the spiritual contentment they can bring to one by just being among the trees, their fragrance, the feel of one's feet on the soft natural mattress of needles on the forest floor. Well done! I look forward to reviewing your future writings.
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2023
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I like it! Having spent a good deal of my life surrounded by these sorts of forests, I know the spiritual contentment they can bring to one by just being among the trees, their fragrance, the feel of one's feet on the soft natural mattress of needles on the forest floor. Well done! I look forward to reviewing your future writings.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2023
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Thank you so much, Marc, for the review and your kind words.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
I understand the story as if I lived it with you beneath the woodland canopy. THough never a woodsman, I enjoyed my jaunts about Pisgah National Forest, the summer I served with the USDA.
The only adjective I found disjointing was decompression.
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2023
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I understand the story as if I lived it with you beneath the woodland canopy. THough never a woodsman, I enjoyed my jaunts about Pisgah National Forest, the summer I served with the USDA.
The only adjective I found disjointing was decompression.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2023
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Thanks, Tom. I always appreciate your feedback. Decompression was one of several disjointing words I tried there.
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Nicki,
Nice mood poem. I especially like these phrases,
"a congregation of long needled pine trees." ... "congregation" is a nice touch. But you have used a lot of other "c" words... "canopy/carpet/ cushioned/ creating". There are a lot of "s" words, too ... "sun/steps/ sound/silent symphony/safe/silence"
A suggestion,
This line caused me to stop momentarily,
"The thick carpet of dried brown pine needles cushioned my steps." ... really nice imagery, but I wonder if there might be a different way to describe the "brown pine needles". A couple of lines before, you mentioned them, and they were too fresh in my mind.
"a congregation of long (needled pine) trees." ... just a thought~
My favorite lines,
"No one can take that bliss from me. I will always have been there."
I came across an ancient trail in the woods once, many years ago. It was covered in moss, and started and stopped in about 30 feet. Dense woods at both ends, it was quite solitary, a snapshot from the past. I was so amazed at it, walking back and forth on it a few times, that I became disoriented. I had to get my compass out to figure which way I was headed! I always wondered where the rest of the trail was, and who had journeyed on it. It was like a time warp that I had a difficult time escaping. Weird, eh?
Nicely penned for your secret place!
Thanks for sharing.
Hugs,
Kimbob
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reply by the author on 04-Apr-2023
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Hi Nicki,
Nice mood poem. I especially like these phrases,
"a congregation of long needled pine trees." ... "congregation" is a nice touch. But you have used a lot of other "c" words... "canopy/carpet/ cushioned/ creating". There are a lot of "s" words, too ... "sun/steps/ sound/silent symphony/safe/silence"
A suggestion,
This line caused me to stop momentarily,
"The thick carpet of dried brown pine needles cushioned my steps." ... really nice imagery, but I wonder if there might be a different way to describe the "brown pine needles". A couple of lines before, you mentioned them, and they were too fresh in my mind.
"a congregation of long (needled pine) trees." ... just a thought~
My favorite lines,
"No one can take that bliss from me. I will always have been there."
I came across an ancient trail in the woods once, many years ago. It was covered in moss, and started and stopped in about 30 feet. Dense woods at both ends, it was quite solitary, a snapshot from the past. I was so amazed at it, walking back and forth on it a few times, that I became disoriented. I had to get my compass out to figure which way I was headed! I always wondered where the rest of the trail was, and who had journeyed on it. It was like a time warp that I had a difficult time escaping. Weird, eh?
Nicely penned for your secret place!
Thanks for sharing.
Hugs,
Kimbob
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2023
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Moments like that make a special kind of imprint. Thanks for the review and your helpful feedback. As always, I appreciate your insights
Comment from pome lover
"Will always have been there," Neat phrase. Neat thought.
A very restful poem, described so that the reader can almost feel it, too.
And the picture looks peaceful.
(It did make me think of Georgia's piney woods where I grew up and they were famous for redbugs. Hope you didn't find any on you :)
I'm sorry. Your poem is so lovely and ethereal, I didn't mean to make light of it. I very much enjoyed it.
Katharine
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2023
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"Will always have been there," Neat phrase. Neat thought.
A very restful poem, described so that the reader can almost feel it, too.
And the picture looks peaceful.
(It did make me think of Georgia's piney woods where I grew up and they were famous for redbugs. Hope you didn't find any on you :)
I'm sorry. Your poem is so lovely and ethereal, I didn't mean to make light of it. I very much enjoyed it.
Katharine
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2023
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Thanks for the review and your kind words. Bugs are real!
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that, they are.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This memory has lingered and it is yours and yours alone, but here you shared your experience and I felt that peace within the shaded wood with you here, a richly worded, ambient post Nicki, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2023
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This memory has lingered and it is yours and yours alone, but here you shared your experience and I felt that peace within the shaded wood with you here, a richly worded, ambient post Nicki, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 03-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2023
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Thanks, Dolly, for the coveted 6th star and your kind words
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You are most welcome Nicki, well deserved x x x