Trick or Treat
A trick-or-treat experience48 total reviews
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed your fun story in a poem. You did a good job with the prompt. I like the smooth flow and the great end rhymes. Your words move at a good pace and are very descriptive. I could see everything as I read. I like the many details of the street. The 'twist' at the end was fun, too.
cripple-->crippled
Best wishes in the contest.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2021
I enjoyed your fun story in a poem. You did a good job with the prompt. I like the smooth flow and the great end rhymes. Your words move at a good pace and are very descriptive. I could see everything as I read. I like the many details of the street. The 'twist' at the end was fun, too.
cripple-->crippled
Best wishes in the contest.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 16-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2021
-
Thanks, Jan. Crippled is probably the correct usage, but we usually say cripple.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I adored the meter and the rhymes here and the story is magical too. I have just one suggestion for this line as we don't refer to disabled people as cripples these days:
(Their candy with their cripple friend).
"their sweets with their immobile friend"
Love Dolly x
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2021
I adored the meter and the rhymes here and the story is magical too. I have just one suggestion for this line as we don't refer to disabled people as cripples these days:
(Their candy with their cripple friend).
"their sweets with their immobile friend"
Love Dolly x
Comment Written 16-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2021
-
I'll think about that one. You've still got me on mute. I am missing your great poems.
Comment from zanya
A lovely poem for that season of Halloween that is now fast approaching - a time for the children to play games and have some seasonal fun with a surprise ending
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2021
A lovely poem for that season of Halloween that is now fast approaching - a time for the children to play games and have some seasonal fun with a surprise ending
Comment Written 16-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2021
-
Thanks for the kind review. Yes, it won't be long before those little rascals are out there pounding the streets.
Comment from Bill Schott
This three-hundred-word Halloween poem, Trick or Treat, has the required length and tells a fun and sweet tale of a Trick or Treat season with a twist. Nice.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2021
This three-hundred-word Halloween poem, Trick or Treat, has the required length and tells a fun and sweet tale of a Trick or Treat season with a twist. Nice.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2021
-
Thanks, Bill. It took me awhile to get the twist, but eventually it came.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This Children Poetry, OCT WK 3 - 300 words or less contest entry, speaks vividly and illustriously about the experience of treat or trick, on Halloween thru travel of the children and meeting neighbours, well said, well done; thank you for this, happy to review this; God Bless you, my dear good writer, wish read more. ALCREATOR, October, Festive Month...
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2021
This Children Poetry, OCT WK 3 - 300 words or less contest entry, speaks vividly and illustriously about the experience of treat or trick, on Halloween thru travel of the children and meeting neighbours, well said, well done; thank you for this, happy to review this; God Bless you, my dear good writer, wish read more. ALCREATOR, October, Festive Month...
Comment Written 16-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2021
-
Thanks for the nice words. Those days were great, weren't they.
Comment from Artasylum
This made me cry so of course it gets a six... and the thought that he felt loved and not alone made me happy cry that the world is still good and I belive not only in a poem...
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2021
This made me cry so of course it gets a six... and the thought that he felt loved and not alone made me happy cry that the world is still good and I belive not only in a poem...
Comment Written 16-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2021
-
Thanks for the great review. My objective, many times, is to get tears of joy or tears of sadness from my readers, but You surprised me with your tears. You must be a very sensitive and loving person.
Comment from Carol Clark2
A cute Halloween story in your poem! It's nice that friends were being compassionate in sharing their candy. He pulled off a good trick on them all. Best wishes in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2021
A cute Halloween story in your poem! It's nice that friends were being compassionate in sharing their candy. He pulled off a good trick on them all. Best wishes in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2021
-
Thanks for the review, Carol. He did pull off a good trick and still got a good treat.
-
You're welcome. Blessings.
Comment from SoulRiver
Very clever and humorous and a great twist to the tale. It was a great read. It nicely captures the excitement of Halloween and the kindness of the kids. I think the meter was a little off in some lines and interrupted the flow.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2021
Very clever and humorous and a great twist to the tale. It was a great read. It nicely captures the excitement of Halloween and the kindness of the kids. I think the meter was a little off in some lines and interrupted the flow.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2021
-
Thanks for the review. I double checked the meter and found it to be iambic with seven feet to two lines. I like the shorter lines in my poems, but maybe in this case I should have stretched them out. If you take another look, I think you will find that the meter is okay.
-
No problem, I will double check it. It was a wonderful poem and I hope it does well.