Football - A Novel
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Football Chapter 1 part 1"A mother faces life's struggles.
33 total reviews
Comment from lancellot
A good beginning. I can see the set up for a classic love story forming. She is resistant at first, but slowly he will win her and the kids over. Maybe, the dogs will help in that. Good writing, which means you spent a lot of time and patience editing. Flawless.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2020
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A good beginning. I can see the set up for a classic love story forming. She is resistant at first, but slowly he will win her and the kids over. Maybe, the dogs will help in that. Good writing, which means you spent a lot of time and patience editing. Flawless.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2020
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Thank you for the encouragement. The dogs will have part of this romance.
Comment from BethShelby
I think I'm going to enjoy this story. I believe this gentlemen is going to be a big part of her life and I think you really like dogs. So do I. My Roxie died last month and I miss him.
Beth
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reply by the author on 20-Sep-2020
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I think I'm going to enjoy this story. I believe this gentlemen is going to be a big part of her life and I think you really like dogs. So do I. My Roxie died last month and I miss him.
Beth
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Comment Written 20-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2020
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Thank you for the encouragement. Every good romance needs at least one dog.
Comment from robyn corum
Barb,
Nice! I'm thinking 'Not Everyone Loves Football' as a title. *smile* That's kind of intriguing and makes people wonder a bit. It would me, anyway.
Some notes:
1.) At a grove of (crepe) myrtle bushes, the sidewalk turned a sharp right.
2.) When she saw him again at the grocery store there should have been some moment of recognization - you don't acknowledge him at all until the very end. I FIGURED it was him, but couldn't be absolutely sure till almost the last lines.
Thanks!
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reply by the author on 20-Sep-2020
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Barb,
Nice! I'm thinking 'Not Everyone Loves Football' as a title. *smile* That's kind of intriguing and makes people wonder a bit. It would me, anyway.
Some notes:
1.) At a grove of (crepe) myrtle bushes, the sidewalk turned a sharp right.
2.) When she saw him again at the grocery store there should have been some moment of recognization - you don't acknowledge him at all until the very end. I FIGURED it was him, but couldn't be absolutely sure till almost the last lines.
Thanks!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2020
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I want him to be a mystery right now. She is completely clueless about him. Thank you for the kind review. I will get that crepe fixed.
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Oh, I get that. But the kid runs into him and they talk - but she doesn't show any sign that she remembers the guy. I thought that was a little off. I mean, she'd definitely say - even in her mind - oh, it's you again.
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I added it as a thought.
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PERFECT! Just right.
