Eric's Epic Adventures Bk 4
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "First Contact"Eric And The Lost City of Atlantis
36 total reviews
Comment from Marjon van Bruggen
I like this so much I already give you the six stars now. It is written in an ongoing fluent style as the one chapter I read before. An engaging, wonderful fantasy about the discovery and exploration of the lost Atlantis. I love your grandson Eric. He is almost fearless and adventurous. His helpers are keeping him a bit in check, so he doesn't come into real harm.
I only found one sentence where you forgot a word:
"As the got closer to (the) bottom of the hill..." Nothing very important.
I am happy to be able to follow this story. Well done, Sandra.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
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I like this so much I already give you the six stars now. It is written in an ongoing fluent style as the one chapter I read before. An engaging, wonderful fantasy about the discovery and exploration of the lost Atlantis. I love your grandson Eric. He is almost fearless and adventurous. His helpers are keeping him a bit in check, so he doesn't come into real harm.
I only found one sentence where you forgot a word:
"As the got closer to (the) bottom of the hill..." Nothing very important.
I am happy to be able to follow this story. Well done, Sandra.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
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Aw, you are so sweet, Marjon, thank you so very much for the wonderful 6 stars, and fabulous review, Marjon. I love that you are enjoying the story. Eric is very much like this in real life, and I know he'd love to do all this if it was possible. Thank you, my friend. Big hugs, :)) Sandra xxx
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So welcome!
Comment from susand3022
Hi, Sandra! I hope they don't have to bug out! I'm so excited to see Atlantis and find out more about these... fish people? What a wonderous imagination you have! Between you and Yvette I've got my mind in a whirl! ;)
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
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Hi, Sandra! I hope they don't have to bug out! I'm so excited to see Atlantis and find out more about these... fish people? What a wonderous imagination you have! Between you and Yvette I've got my mind in a whirl! ;)
Comment Written 23-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
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Thank you so much, Susan. I'm delighted you are enjoying the story so far. Eric has a lot of surprises coming his way, and the strange beings have even more! I'm so pleased you are coming along with me and my story. Thank you, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Bill Pinder
I like this chapter about Eric's adventure to explore Atlantis and meet the residents there. Great use of your creativity to work in a child friendly mention of Adam and eve. Bill
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
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I like this chapter about Eric's adventure to explore Atlantis and meet the residents there. Great use of your creativity to work in a child friendly mention of Adam and eve. Bill
Comment Written 23-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
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Thank you, Bill! That is so nice of you to mention the part with Adam and Eve. I'm glad you thought it was child friendly. I'm also pleased you are still enjoying the story, you encouraging words are most gratefully received. Thank you! :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from JudyE
Always fun to read about Eric. You always have his speech patterns off pat - in my opinion, anyway.
Just a few suggestions but some may not be valid:
"Let's get a bit closer, perhaps we'll get to meet some of the people." - period after 'closer'
Just be careful. I think we should use this trip just for observation. - there are two 'just's' pretty close together here. I might have deleted one or tried to find another way to word it.
Herbie agreed with Eric, but here was something peculiar - did you mean 'there was something....' ?
Mammal wasn't quite the word - I might have put single quotes round 'Mammal'
this particular part of the ground wasn't so tightly bound with the moss and root - maybe 'bound with moss and roots'
The moment he moved so everything beneath him - delete 'so'
sending a scattering of stones and debris towards the creatures who were right in its path. - 'scattering of stones and debris' is plural so maybe it should be 'in the path' or 'their path'
They split up, one of the strange men went in front - period after 'up'
What he did do, was, spin his eyes around - delete comma after 'was'
The two men who had brought them down the hill - would 'creatures' be a better choice than 'men'?
Have a great day
Judy
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reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
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Always fun to read about Eric. You always have his speech patterns off pat - in my opinion, anyway.
Just a few suggestions but some may not be valid:
"Let's get a bit closer, perhaps we'll get to meet some of the people." - period after 'closer'
Just be careful. I think we should use this trip just for observation. - there are two 'just's' pretty close together here. I might have deleted one or tried to find another way to word it.
Herbie agreed with Eric, but here was something peculiar - did you mean 'there was something....' ?
Mammal wasn't quite the word - I might have put single quotes round 'Mammal'
this particular part of the ground wasn't so tightly bound with the moss and root - maybe 'bound with moss and roots'
The moment he moved so everything beneath him - delete 'so'
sending a scattering of stones and debris towards the creatures who were right in its path. - 'scattering of stones and debris' is plural so maybe it should be 'in the path' or 'their path'
They split up, one of the strange men went in front - period after 'up'
What he did do, was, spin his eyes around - delete comma after 'was'
The two men who had brought them down the hill - would 'creatures' be a better choice than 'men'?
Have a great day
Judy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
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Thank you so much for all your helpful suggestions, Judy, of which I have taken up. That was so kind of you. I'm delighted you are going to continue coming along on this adventure. Big hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from ImaginosBuzzardoDesdinova
I really like this chapter. The creatures of Atlantis sound interesting. Nice to have a new lifeform ruling there that haven't been introduced before. I can't wait to find out more about their origins. You've written a really interesting story so far.
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reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
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I really like this chapter. The creatures of Atlantis sound interesting. Nice to have a new lifeform ruling there that haven't been introduced before. I can't wait to find out more about their origins. You've written a really interesting story so far.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
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Thank you so much for this lovely review, my friend. Coming from you and your wonderful story, I'm very flattered. I hope you continue to come along on this adventure. Big hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
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Big hugs back! It's a great story so far and I suspect it will continue to be.
Comment from Pantygynt
By going into Atlantis you enter the magic world of fantasy. You are no longer tied to period or known historical fact. In the land of myth you can make your own rules but then of course you have to keep them. The exception to this is the theoretical safety valve that you have never had to use, your heroes can always get away. This is necessary with children's literature, but you have always managed in the past to avoid having to use that, instead getting the potentially inimical characters to convert, without losing any excitement on the way.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
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By going into Atlantis you enter the magic world of fantasy. You are no longer tied to period or known historical fact. In the land of myth you can make your own rules but then of course you have to keep them. The exception to this is the theoretical safety valve that you have never had to use, your heroes can always get away. This is necessary with children's literature, but you have always managed in the past to avoid having to use that, instead getting the potentially inimical characters to convert, without losing any excitement on the way.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
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Aw, thank you so much for the 6 stars, Jim, and the really lovely review. I agree with what you say about being tied to a period. This one will be so much fun. And, as no one knows for sure if it ever did exist, I can really go to town on the fantasy side! Thanks, my friend, you are always so encouraging, I love your reviews. Big hugs. :)) Sandra xxx