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Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "A Happenstance Conclusion"A series of like minded poems
55 total reviews
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Well I for one am very proud of you Jesse. Your writing has developed and prospered so radically from when I first met you. You sound stronger and more sure of where you are and what kind of life you want to live. This piece is just an example of how far you have come. I love the passion of your write particularly. Good work my friend. Take care. oxox Kiwi
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
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Well I for one am very proud of you Jesse. Your writing has developed and prospered so radically from when I first met you. You sound stronger and more sure of where you are and what kind of life you want to live. This piece is just an example of how far you have come. I love the passion of your write particularly. Good work my friend. Take care. oxox Kiwi
Comment Written 10-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
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Thanks, Kiwi! I am honored and humbled by your very positive words. I am proud to say that I have worked hard to develop my self-worth, and as a result of my progress, I am writing from where I am now, and taking pride in my accomplishments. Your wonderful feedback means a lot to me. Thanks!
Take care, Jesse
Comment from Minglement
Thank you for sharing this rather complicated poem. It's a smooth flowing read expressing some very deep emotions and psychological issues. In today's world an open mind is an asset.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2020
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Thank you for sharing this rather complicated poem. It's a smooth flowing read expressing some very deep emotions and psychological issues. In today's world an open mind is an asset.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2020
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I think you got the gist of it. I agree with you, that an open mind is, or at least can be, an asset. Thank you for reading my poem, and for your kind word about the smooth flow of the piece. I appreciate your honest review and excellent rating.
Take care, Jesse
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You are most welcome - Marcia
Comment from karenina
I may be reading this too literally. That is always a possibility. Still, this poem spoke to me about this increasing awareness of gender neutrality--the pronoun "they" for a single person because there seems to be a transcendence along the sexual continuum and to adhere to one sexual identity is to deny the other. I have a dear friend who has taken great pain to lovingly explain this to family and friends. Sad to report that as far as we have come we have a long way to go to break long held molds. Kudos to those who speak their truth. They open windows and doors to those still silently pondering the perils of declaring their own truth! -- Karenina
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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I may be reading this too literally. That is always a possibility. Still, this poem spoke to me about this increasing awareness of gender neutrality--the pronoun "they" for a single person because there seems to be a transcendence along the sexual continuum and to adhere to one sexual identity is to deny the other. I have a dear friend who has taken great pain to lovingly explain this to family and friends. Sad to report that as far as we have come we have a long way to go to break long held molds. Kudos to those who speak their truth. They open windows and doors to those still silently pondering the perils of declaring their own truth! -- Karenina
Comment Written 05-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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You are not reading this too literally. I believe that gender expression is on a continuum, Whereas some are extremely male identified or female identified, there are many who place themselves somewhere in between the two extremes. I am an ally of those who choose to express their gender identity in different from the "norm" terms. We as a society have a long way to go before we will accept this concept, but it is coming whether we like it or not. They will not be silenced or erased. It is heartening to know that you are supportive of those who speak their truth. Thank you for this honest and exploratory review, as well as, the excellent rating.
Take care, Jesse
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In a world where we all accept being on a continuum with regard to cultural choices, intellect, communication preferences, genetic tendency, etc.---It simply strikes me as intolerant and unrealistic not to accept that varying people can place themselves on a continuum regarding gender identity. I am SO glad I interpreted your brave voice correctly. --Karenina
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Yes, it does seem intolerant and unrealistic to me, as well. But, there is a lot of that, going around these days so, I'm not surprised.
I am glad you saw me as brave, to expose those on Fan Story, to a little bit, of what it would be nice, if it were, so to speak.
Thanks for your kindness and support.
Jesse
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I was watching a clip on TV of a woman who had caucused for Mayor Pete. When someone mentioned he was gay she withdrew her support. Mayor Pete's response was perfect, I thought. He said in spite of her views: 1) Her disagreement would necessarily have to be with our Creator (for she said her faith would not allow her to support him) and 2) Whatever her view his hope was to be HER president TOO. Nice comeback....
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I agree. You're right, it was a nice comeback. He shows integrity in a sea of back biting and division. But will his Gayness stop him from winning the election? It's any body's guess. I'm not sure who I want to vote for. I have only until the 3rd of March to decide. Yikes!
Jesse
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I watch each debate... I ponder
each scenario. I question both who would be best AND who might be able to stand toe to toe with Trump... I have not chosen. I am still in a state of flux.--March 3rd will be here in a heartbeat!--Karenina
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I hope that the voters don't lose hope, and then don't vote at all. It is easy to feel defeated. I will vote my conscience and hope for the best.
Jesse
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That's all we can do... Plus encourage others to vote as well!--Karenina
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Yes. These coming two elections are pivotal for our country's future. Probably the most important elections yet, in our lifetime.
Jesse
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I absolutely agree. The fate of our country is at hand!--Karenina
Comment from rama devi
This is one of my favorites of yours, my friend. I'm so pleased to review it again in polished form. The content is original, expressive, immense and intense. The phonics are FANTASTIC! Especially all the S, C and P sounds in the opening lines:
I slip into a semiconscious sphere,
where my psyche slides
onto a microscopic smear.
I see psychosis on a continuum
great rhymes, slant rhymes and internal rhymes,, especially adhere and smear.
Here, they are just mildly overdone but I love reading it aloud and the alliteration of C works like a contrapuntal effect, lessening the overwhelm of EAR sounds here:
But I shall steer clear,
as I fear no one wants to hear
this convoluted confession.
Stroke of genius phrasing:
I face a happenstance delusion,
Perfect closing note:
It echoes with conclusion
that love lifts my self-esteem.
Bravo!
Warmly,
rd
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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This is one of my favorites of yours, my friend. I'm so pleased to review it again in polished form. The content is original, expressive, immense and intense. The phonics are FANTASTIC! Especially all the S, C and P sounds in the opening lines:
I slip into a semiconscious sphere,
where my psyche slides
onto a microscopic smear.
I see psychosis on a continuum
great rhymes, slant rhymes and internal rhymes,, especially adhere and smear.
Here, they are just mildly overdone but I love reading it aloud and the alliteration of C works like a contrapuntal effect, lessening the overwhelm of EAR sounds here:
But I shall steer clear,
as I fear no one wants to hear
this convoluted confession.
Stroke of genius phrasing:
I face a happenstance delusion,
Perfect closing note:
It echoes with conclusion
that love lifts my self-esteem.
Bravo!
Warmly,
rd
Comment Written 05-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Wow! I learn so much from your reviews about what works and why. It makes me happy to know that this is one of your favorites of my collection of poems. No one else talks about phonics or contrapuntal effects of my work. You are very helpful with your examples and kind comments. I am thrilled to receive an exceptional rating from you. Along with your amazing review, you have most certainly made my day!
Have the a peaceful and prosperous day.
Take care, Jesse
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YAY!!! Poetry is MUSIC!
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Yes! I am inspired by lyrics I hear in my favorite music, many times. Not only is poetry, music, but good music with great lyrics, are poetry. Thanks for your awesome review.
Jesse
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Exactly!!!
Comment from Y. M. Roger
'psychosis on a continuum', huh? Oh, how I love that line, Jesse!! :) This is an awesome offering, sir -- don't want to call it 'free verse' as you've got some internal as well as end-rhymes mixed throughout... although there is no set pattern on which the mind or ear can 'ride', it provides a soothing reassurance as the reader is lead through your vision! ;) The fact that "every color's fusion" falls to the colors that represent life and happiness and serenity simply adds to the view that although things are a bit nutty, folks, life within me and around me will continue to shine! ;) :) Just wonderful, my friend, and reassuring all at the same time -- thank you for sharing! ;) Yvette
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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'psychosis on a continuum', huh? Oh, how I love that line, Jesse!! :) This is an awesome offering, sir -- don't want to call it 'free verse' as you've got some internal as well as end-rhymes mixed throughout... although there is no set pattern on which the mind or ear can 'ride', it provides a soothing reassurance as the reader is lead through your vision! ;) The fact that "every color's fusion" falls to the colors that represent life and happiness and serenity simply adds to the view that although things are a bit nutty, folks, life within me and around me will continue to shine! ;) :) Just wonderful, my friend, and reassuring all at the same time -- thank you for sharing! ;) Yvette
Comment Written 05-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Wow! I love this review! You're the only one to dare touch that line about psychosis on a continuum. Let alone, love that line! Your perception of it, not totally being 'free verse,' is correct. It is my own style, which I am happy with right now. I am happy you noticed the internal and end rhymes with no set pattern. I like how you interpret that as providing a 'soothing reassurance' for the reader to follow through. You are also the only one to appreciate that the colors I chose represent all things positive in my life. Your total interpretation is marvelous, and I want to thank you for making my day! Not only for the exceptional rating, which I immensely appreciate, but for this awesome review!! Thanks, Yvette!!
Take care, Jesse
Comment from Louise Michelle
Very nice written, Jesse. Your poem grabbed my attention from the get go and held it throughout. This could almost be a recollection of a dream, with a spattering of truths hidden, but trying to reveal itself. Hugs, Lou
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Very nice written, Jesse. Your poem grabbed my attention from the get go and held it throughout. This could almost be a recollection of a dream, with a spattering of truths hidden, but trying to reveal itself. Hugs, Lou
Comment Written 05-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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You are so right, Michelle. I am glad the poem grabbed and held on to your attention. The truths hidden, yet trying to reveal themselves, is very perceptive of you. No one else saw this. I am impressed with your intuitiveness. In my life, dreams and life awake are on a continuum, and there is a fine line between the two. You caught that, and I thank you for that. Your unique perception and kind comments result in a very fine review. And, I thank you for the excellent rating, as well as this review.
Take care, Jesse
Comment from Teri7
Jesse, This is a very well written free verse poem you have penned about this happening to you. To me it sounds like a vision of sorts and it makes me think of colors you would see in Heaven and sounds of Heaven with little children laughing and playing. Just my take on this my friend. Beautiful words and lovely imagery from the art work you used. Thanks for sharing. Blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Jesse, This is a very well written free verse poem you have penned about this happening to you. To me it sounds like a vision of sorts and it makes me think of colors you would see in Heaven and sounds of Heaven with little children laughing and playing. Just my take on this my friend. Beautiful words and lovely imagery from the art work you used. Thanks for sharing. Blessings, Teri
Comment Written 04-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Thank you so much, Teri, for this inspiring and positive review. I appreciate you sharing your take on this with me. Your kind comments mean a lot to me. I am glad you liked the poem and the artwork I chose. Thank you for this great review and excellent rating.
Take care, Jesse
Comment from susand3022
It's always true, Jesse, the more love you feel from others, the better and stronger you will feel about and within yourself. You find the strength that was there all along, you only had to discover it there. (There are times that I struggle to hold on to my own) But remember, Jesse... that strength is there with you all the time... even when you feel like you're alone. :)
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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It's always true, Jesse, the more love you feel from others, the better and stronger you will feel about and within yourself. You find the strength that was there all along, you only had to discover it there. (There are times that I struggle to hold on to my own) But remember, Jesse... that strength is there with you all the time... even when you feel like you're alone. :)
Comment Written 04-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Thank you, Susan, for this very kind and insightful review. Your encouragement and inspirational words are much appreciated. The positive and caring support I feel from those in Fan Story, such as yourself, helps me to build my strength to feel good about myself. Your comments mean a lot to me. Thank you for this wonderful review and excellent rating.
Take care, Jesse
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very nice image and
good presentation, Jesse.
-Your note is appreciated.
-A well written poem with
effective imagery and rhyme.
-I like all of the color imagery
and the line about the
children singing.
-It is a very positive poem
that proves your point-
"you are open to possibilities."
-Well done!
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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-Very nice image and
good presentation, Jesse.
-Your note is appreciated.
-A well written poem with
effective imagery and rhyme.
-I like all of the color imagery
and the line about the
children singing.
-It is a very positive poem
that proves your point-
"you are open to possibilities."
-Well done!
Comment Written 04-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Thank you, Pam. You are very kind and thoughtful it give such a positive response. I appreciate your choice of the line in my poem which spoke the most to you. Thank you for your kind comments and excellent rating.
Take care, Jesse
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You are very welcome and deserving of the rating and the review. It was a good poem.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written heartfelt poem about slipping into semiconcious sphere where you happen to see something that last a lifetime. You hear the children voices sing and love lifts up your self esteem.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
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A very well-written heartfelt poem about slipping into semiconcious sphere where you happen to see something that last a lifetime. You hear the children voices sing and love lifts up your self esteem.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
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Thank you, Sandra, for your kind words, and analysis of my poem. I appreciate your excellent review and rating.
Take care, Jesse
