Haiku Club Challenges, Book II
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "haiku (the ghost of Mamie Thurmond)"an anthology of haiku written by fanstory poets
52 total reviews
Comment from Thal1959
I know you know a heck of a lot more about Haiku than I do, Dean, but this reads to me more like a standard 5-7-5 as the Satori seems straightforward. The entire three lines read grammatically correct - "in a woodland grave among green hills and lush loam -- Mamie's ghost still roams." But that is just my amateur opinion. By the way, the image shows actress Louise Brooks who had some hard times in her life - unfortunately mostly because of her own doing. (I had posted an Etheree about her.)
  |
I know you know a heck of a lot more about Haiku than I do, Dean, but this reads to me more like a standard 5-7-5 as the Satori seems straightforward. The entire three lines read grammatically correct - "in a woodland grave among green hills and lush loam -- Mamie's ghost still roams." But that is just my amateur opinion. By the way, the image shows actress Louise Brooks who had some hard times in her life - unfortunately mostly because of her own doing. (I had posted an Etheree about her.)
Comment Written 24-Aug-2017
Comment from Irish Rain
I think I've been to Logan, West Virginia. I used to live in Oakhill, Beckley, and Prince. Probably related to this Mamie...she sounds like one of us, and we have a tendency to get killed. (Just joking...a little) I think I'm going to love this, and I believe the banker did it! Blessings...
|
I think I've been to Logan, West Virginia. I used to live in Oakhill, Beckley, and Prince. Probably related to this Mamie...she sounds like one of us, and we have a tendency to get killed. (Just joking...a little) I think I'm going to love this, and I believe the banker did it! Blessings...
Comment Written 24-Aug-2017
Comment from BeasPeas
This is a well written haiku, presented perfectly. Very descriptive for such a short piece. Your detailed author's note concerning the circumstances and the unsolved murder are intriguing. Good job. Marilyn
|
This is a well written haiku, presented perfectly. Very descriptive for such a short piece. Your detailed author's note concerning the circumstances and the unsolved murder are intriguing. Good job. Marilyn
Comment Written 24-Aug-2017
Comment from CD Richards
The backdrop to your poem is a fascinating story. I think the roaring twenties and into the thirties would have been a thrilling, if somewhat dangerous, time to be around. Then again - perhaps not a lot more dangerous than today, just different. Great image to go with this atmospheric haiku. Well done, Dean.
Craig
|
The backdrop to your poem is a fascinating story. I think the roaring twenties and into the thirties would have been a thrilling, if somewhat dangerous, time to be around. Then again - perhaps not a lot more dangerous than today, just different. Great image to go with this atmospheric haiku. Well done, Dean.
Craig
Comment Written 24-Aug-2017
Comment from Aussie
Back in those 'roaring thirties', blacks were blamed and shamed. I thought your poem and illustration gave us a good look at those days. Restless ghosts need closure, just as the living do. Well done my creepy friend. PS: love stories around the 'thirties.'
|
Back in those 'roaring thirties', blacks were blamed and shamed. I thought your poem and illustration gave us a good look at those days. Restless ghosts need closure, just as the living do. Well done my creepy friend. PS: love stories around the 'thirties.'
Comment Written 24-Aug-2017
Comment from sunnilicious
I like your G-word alliteration and L-word alliteration. Also, I enjoyed your loam-roam rhyme. Great visual imagery created, however, I still don't like spooky ambiances. Nice work. Good luck in the contest :)
|
I like your G-word alliteration and L-word alliteration. Also, I enjoyed your loam-roam rhyme. Great visual imagery created, however, I still don't like spooky ambiances. Nice work. Good luck in the contest :)
Comment Written 24-Aug-2017
Comment from smileycloud
a very well done Haiku
but a terrible true story for Mamie
it is often the case that people go unpunished for terrible deeds
in those days an horrific killing like that was a true nightmare to the entire town
good Haiku
have a smiley day
|
a very well done Haiku
but a terrible true story for Mamie
it is often the case that people go unpunished for terrible deeds
in those days an horrific killing like that was a true nightmare to the entire town
good Haiku
have a smiley day
Comment Written 24-Aug-2017
Comment from LaRosa
or any one of the married men or their wives ???
Hope the poor black, sometimes chauffeur wasn't punished for the crime.
A grave in green, lush, woodland seems like such an idyllic picture. Peaceful.
If she needs to roam, she chose to stay in the right place?
|
or any one of the married men or their wives ???
Hope the poor black, sometimes chauffeur wasn't punished for the crime.
A grave in green, lush, woodland seems like such an idyllic picture. Peaceful.
If she needs to roam, she chose to stay in the right place?
Comment Written 24-Aug-2017
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Dean
Yes, i like your super natural haiku about Mamie
What i liked is how well you told in your author's note of who really killed Mamie
Gert
|
Hello Dean
Yes, i like your super natural haiku about Mamie
What i liked is how well you told in your author's note of who really killed Mamie
Gert
Comment Written 24-Aug-2017
Comment from Ric Myworld
In our world of frequent injustices and considering the year of her murder, I would assume it a good possibility the banker was guilty. Of course, none of us should ever assume anything. Mamie's blood in the car was an admission of something, but by whom, I guess we'll never know. Great job. :-)
|
In our world of frequent injustices and considering the year of her murder, I would assume it a good possibility the banker was guilty. Of course, none of us should ever assume anything. Mamie's blood in the car was an admission of something, but by whom, I guess we'll never know. Great job. :-)
Comment Written 24-Aug-2017
