The Lost Boy Revisited
Healing through expression41 total reviews
Comment from MelB
This is a touching and heartfelt piece. It's not fun to be the lost one and all alone. It seems lack of love and comfort have taken him down a path of darkness.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2017
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This is a touching and heartfelt piece. It's not fun to be the lost one and all alone. It seems lack of love and comfort have taken him down a path of darkness.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2017
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Thank you for your kind thoughts and for the rating, they are both appreciated.
Comment from Sasha
Welcome back stranger. This is absolutely awesome. Strong visual and emotional imagery. It tell a sad story that brought tears to my eyes. Excellent rhythm and rhyme too. I enjoyed this immensely and it deserves nothing less than 6 stars.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2017
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Welcome back stranger. This is absolutely awesome. Strong visual and emotional imagery. It tell a sad story that brought tears to my eyes. Excellent rhythm and rhyme too. I enjoyed this immensely and it deserves nothing less than 6 stars.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2017
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Your name has changed a little, but if you are the same Smurph I remember, Hey, how ya doin?
Your gift of stars makes me blush, but your words touched my heart, for nothing can compare to the feeling of reaching someone at that level.
I am honored beyond words,and I thank you my friend for that gift also.
Always,
Curt
Comment from Dean Kuch
This is very, very good, Curt.
First, I'll address the rhyme scheme: Four rhymed quatrains with excellent end rhyming, in an aabb scheme that maintains its unity throughout. For emphasis, you finish with a rhymed couplet in mono-rhyme, much like an English sonnet, for a very strong finish.
Very well done.
The syllabic count ranges from 13 to 15, with 14 seemingly the most prevalent per line. While there is good cadence and flow, there is no discernible scansion or specific meter, which is fine. There doesn't need to be
EA Poe wrote this way quite frequently and we're still reading his work today.
Unlike you, I need not see more to determine whether or not I'd like to become a fan. This emotive, expressive piece was enough for me to make my determination.
Welcome back, and Bravo!
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2017
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This is very, very good, Curt.
First, I'll address the rhyme scheme: Four rhymed quatrains with excellent end rhyming, in an aabb scheme that maintains its unity throughout. For emphasis, you finish with a rhymed couplet in mono-rhyme, much like an English sonnet, for a very strong finish.
Very well done.
The syllabic count ranges from 13 to 15, with 14 seemingly the most prevalent per line. While there is good cadence and flow, there is no discernible scansion or specific meter, which is fine. There doesn't need to be
EA Poe wrote this way quite frequently and we're still reading his work today.
Unlike you, I need not see more to determine whether or not I'd like to become a fan. This emotive, expressive piece was enough for me to make my determination.
Welcome back, and Bravo!
Comment Written 06-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2017
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I have a new friend, and you have a new fan.
Many thanks,
Curt
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You bet, Curt. Many thanks to you as well.
~Dean
Comment from bertranclan
Your poem , while enigmatic, illustrates so well loneliness, lost hope, and fear. You have some wonderful imagery, i.e., "bruised cheeks of the clouds," for example. I like the rhyme scheme as well. A memorable read.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2017
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Your poem , while enigmatic, illustrates so well loneliness, lost hope, and fear. You have some wonderful imagery, i.e., "bruised cheeks of the clouds," for example. I like the rhyme scheme as well. A memorable read.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2017
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Thank you, fellow poet, for your thoughts on this piece. I do appreciate your stopping in.
Curt
Comment from nbonner
I loved it! Unfortunately I can relate to the story of "The Lost Boy". It brought tears to my eyes how well it was written. I couldn't help but also read your portfolio, passionate message and very true. We should leave all to our "Maker". Thank you so much for sharing this story.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2017
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I loved it! Unfortunately I can relate to the story of "The Lost Boy". It brought tears to my eyes how well it was written. I couldn't help but also read your portfolio, passionate message and very true. We should leave all to our "Maker". Thank you so much for sharing this story.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2017
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I can think of no higher praise to be given than that of an emotional connection a reder finds with my writing.
As you were touched, so am I.
Thank you,
Curt
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Hello Curt. What a nice surprise to see a post from you again! I hope that things are going well for you.
This is a very well written poem. Raw and emotive, it tells a sad tale (your story) of child abuse. Unique wording (bruised cheeks of the clouds) and excellent aabb rhyme scheme.
Thanks for sharing the history of your hurt with your Fanstory friends via this well crafted poem. ~ ~ Connie
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2017
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Hello Curt. What a nice surprise to see a post from you again! I hope that things are going well for you.
This is a very well written poem. Raw and emotive, it tells a sad tale (your story) of child abuse. Unique wording (bruised cheeks of the clouds) and excellent aabb rhyme scheme.
Thanks for sharing the history of your hurt with your Fanstory friends via this well crafted poem. ~ ~ Connie
Comment Written 06-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2017
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Hi Connie!
Thanks for stopping in!
Yes, things are on the upswing for me since I left LA, which is one of the reasons I'm back on Fanstory. I look forward to reading and posting again when I can, so don't be a stranger, and I'll try and do the same!
Thanks again,
Curt
Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent. I found this writing interesting to the extreme. It is so heart-touching and well-written. I do love excellent poetry and I consider this one to be one of the best.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2017
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Excellent. I found this writing interesting to the extreme. It is so heart-touching and well-written. I do love excellent poetry and I consider this one to be one of the best.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2017
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Thank you for your thoughts on my scribbles, I truly do appreciate your time.
Curt
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem about the lost boy who hides in thr corner alone fot him this is a better option. He desperate looking for someone who cares. There isno one who cares and the darkness gives him comfort.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2017
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A very well-written poem about the lost boy who hides in thr corner alone fot him this is a better option. He desperate looking for someone who cares. There isno one who cares and the darkness gives him comfort.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2017
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Thank you for your thoughts, they are appreciated.
Curt
Comment from Hitcher
Hello Mate : ) Long time no see buddy, I hope life has been treating you ok? I see you
haven't lost your refined, creative, poetic gift. A Stunning poem with dark soulful, emotionally charged visuals that allow the reviewer to see and feel the nightmare existence of your lost boy... you.
I have only recently returned myself after a good three years away from the site, not to many of the old guard around unfortunately. There are still quality writers and new friendships to be forged. Really great to see your name in my inbox mate : )
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2017
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Hello Mate : ) Long time no see buddy, I hope life has been treating you ok? I see you
haven't lost your refined, creative, poetic gift. A Stunning poem with dark soulful, emotionally charged visuals that allow the reviewer to see and feel the nightmare existence of your lost boy... you.
I have only recently returned myself after a good three years away from the site, not to many of the old guard around unfortunately. There are still quality writers and new friendships to be forged. Really great to see your name in my inbox mate : )
Comment Written 06-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2017
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Reply via private message
Comment from rspoet
This quite a powerful poem with excellent rhyme in AABB form
and the consistent fourteen syllable septameter.
There a few technical considerations:
in lIne three use "its" - it's is used only for 'It is" or sometimes "it has."
The bigger problem is first sixteen lines are one long sentence,
but should be broken into shorter ones, such as:
Sunset shows the bruised cheeks of the clouds that pass him by;
another wave of darkness and he falls through silenced sighs.
The locked door with no key is cracking in its state of mind,
before a tempest filled with memories once left behind.
Use can use semi-colons to separate two independent clauses (sentences).
Otherwise, this is a very strong poem with excellent imagery
and an important message.
Best wishes,
RS
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2017
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This quite a powerful poem with excellent rhyme in AABB form
and the consistent fourteen syllable septameter.
There a few technical considerations:
in lIne three use "its" - it's is used only for 'It is" or sometimes "it has."
The bigger problem is first sixteen lines are one long sentence,
but should be broken into shorter ones, such as:
Sunset shows the bruised cheeks of the clouds that pass him by;
another wave of darkness and he falls through silenced sighs.
The locked door with no key is cracking in its state of mind,
before a tempest filled with memories once left behind.
Use can use semi-colons to separate two independent clauses (sentences).
Otherwise, this is a very strong poem with excellent imagery
and an important message.
Best wishes,
RS
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2017
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Thank you very much for your input, but as for the "its", I call upon my good friend poetic license for the sake of flow in the piece.
And yes, I took some liberties with enjambment, so forgive me for that.
Thanks again,
Curt
