Haiku Club Challenges, Book II
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "haiku (harsh tongues can cut deep)"an anthology of haiku written by fanstory poets
67 total reviews
Comment from apky
You're right: cruel or demeaning words from those we are emotionally attached to, those we expect to love us unconditionally, can cut deeper than a stabber's knife. And for children, when the words come from parents or guardians, the wounds are for life, never quite healing.
Hugs,
Aki
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2017
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You're right: cruel or demeaning words from those we are emotionally attached to, those we expect to love us unconditionally, can cut deeper than a stabber's knife. And for children, when the words come from parents or guardians, the wounds are for life, never quite healing.
Hugs,
Aki
Comment Written 28-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2017
OK, I get it - you're the genius plus change!
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Okay, but you still haven't let me know whether or not you received my email.
This is the last time I'll be asking.
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Oooops! I received your email, Schatz, and sent you like close to 18 pics?
Let me check and get back to you.
Sorry - I assumed you got my reply.
Hugs,
Aki
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Nope, I haven't seen it yet.
I'll check again just to be sure.
Comment from WalkerMan
Yes, you are absolutely right about the effect of harsh words on a child. It would be far better to gently say, "You should not do (or say) that because...," followed by an explanation the child can easily understand (NOT "because I said so"). Your fine haiku has the same message as "The Tone of Voice" (author unknown) in the copy of my book that you have. Well done, with good alliteration too, and aptly illustrated.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2017
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Yes, you are absolutely right about the effect of harsh words on a child. It would be far better to gently say, "You should not do (or say) that because...," followed by an explanation the child can easily understand (NOT "because I said so"). Your fine haiku has the same message as "The Tone of Voice" (author unknown) in the copy of my book that you have. Well done, with good alliteration too, and aptly illustrated.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2017
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Hello, Mike.
I know when I was young I would have much rather received a spanking than to have one of my parents yell at me in anger.
It's probably that way for many kids still today.
Thanks very much for reading.
It's appreciated.
~Dean
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You are welcome. Lilly is proof that adversity for an individual can be turned into a blessing for many by a determined spirit. Admirable. -- Mike
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You are welcome, my friend. I understand; and you may be right, as yelling wears down the spirit and is long remembered as a negative inner voice, but a spank is quickly over. My wife had a unique solution. She was good at glaring in a threatening way; so, after giving the order she wanted followed, she simply said in an ominous tone, "You have till the count of three.... One...." She rarely had to even say (louder), "TWO...." She never got beyond that, nor ever said what the penalty might have been. It got to the point where the errant daughter would implore while scurrying to do what was required, "Don't count!" Thus, our daughters were never either spanked or yelled at. -- Mike
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I so agree and these words live with you forever. Harsh words spoken in anger can cut deep as your poignant poem outlines, disturbing true words, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2017
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I so agree and these words live with you forever. Harsh words spoken in anger can cut deep as your poignant poem outlines, disturbing true words, love Dolly x
Comment Written 28-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2017
Comment from sunnilicious
I saw this show last week on Lifetime about women in jail for murder. The verbal and physical abuse was so harsh that murder gave them freedom living in a prison. This poem reminded me of that documentary. Very sad.
May this world, especially around the USA, be blessed to optimistic outlooks and compliments for betterment in society.
God bless you. Goodnight
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2017
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I saw this show last week on Lifetime about women in jail for murder. The verbal and physical abuse was so harsh that murder gave them freedom living in a prison. This poem reminded me of that documentary. Very sad.
May this world, especially around the USA, be blessed to optimistic outlooks and compliments for betterment in society.
God bless you. Goodnight
Comment Written 28-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2017
Comment from Jay Squires
Again, Dean, your artistry lends depth and charm to your subject, but goes further, with the innovative font and the beautiful picture of a strangely ageless female. AT one point I see her as a child, almost an infant, but then there is in the shading of it, and the challenging expression in look in that mouth that almost draws the eyes out of the fog and gives her a timeless persona.
Your 5-7-5 suggests a child of the bullying age, or an abused child. The cutting takes the tragedy to a deeper level of neurosis.
How did you come up with a font that's not supported by word or Google Docs? And who is the artist? Artwork and poem are such a powerful blend. Good luck in the contest, Dean.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017
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Again, Dean, your artistry lends depth and charm to your subject, but goes further, with the innovative font and the beautiful picture of a strangely ageless female. AT one point I see her as a child, almost an infant, but then there is in the shading of it, and the challenging expression in look in that mouth that almost draws the eyes out of the fog and gives her a timeless persona.
Your 5-7-5 suggests a child of the bullying age, or an abused child. The cutting takes the tragedy to a deeper level of neurosis.
How did you come up with a font that's not supported by word or Google Docs? And who is the artist? Artwork and poem are such a powerful blend. Good luck in the contest, Dean.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017
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Thank you very much for weighing in on this haiku with your thoughts, Jay, and for the shining sixth star as well.
I deeply appreciate your positive feedback and I'm very glad you liked it.
The font is created using MicroSoft's Paint program, Jay, which comes standard on any computer using a Windows Operating System.
I simply drag below the picture I want to use which creates a blank, open canvas for writing. By typing your poem in the space created you can then utilize any font uploaded to your computer (of which there are many!), and you can download and add additional fonts for free as well.
The font I used here is called "Hellraiser Bloody".
The entire poem is then uploaded to Photobucket.com (it's free) where I have all of my pictures and animations stored. Photobucket generates an HTML code for each picture you upload, and HTML is the only code FanStory will accept.
Hope that helps.
Take care, my friend, and thanks again.
~Dean :}
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The fact that you took the time to go into such great detail to give me the blow-by-blow touches me more than you know. I wish I could immediately convey to you how ILL-PREPARED I am to implement any of this. Still, I pasted your words to word and will print it to have it at my elbow as I go through this, step-by-step. Only thing, how do I pour all my photos into photobucket when they are lying about my writing table, as bookmarks for some of the books I don't have on Kindle or lying, brown-edged on the window sill.
Thanks, as ever.
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You'll have to take some sort of digital photograph with a camera or cell, Jay.
Save them as a jpeg file on your computer (usually the default setting for artwork and pictures), then upload them manually to Photobucket.
You can use Photobucket's editor if you like to enhance the color, deepen the contrast, or even add special effects if you like.
I'm very happy to have been able to help.
Best of luck with it!
~Dean
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Thanks again, Dean. Will work on it.
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You bet. :)
Comment from Grasshopper2
Dean-o-san,
A Horror haiku for the haiku challenge: Week One A chapter in the book Haiku Club Challenges, Book II
Your syllabic count is spot on which means you did not want to streamline and be less than 17. So, you chose your words correctly (even more so than usual) to relay your message. So, the message is for a person or people you expect to read your haiku. It may be too subtle for the perps.
I enjoyed the read.
Me and My Shadow
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2017
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Dean-o-san,
A Horror haiku for the haiku challenge: Week One A chapter in the book Haiku Club Challenges, Book II
Your syllabic count is spot on which means you did not want to streamline and be less than 17. So, you chose your words correctly (even more so than usual) to relay your message. So, the message is for a person or people you expect to read your haiku. It may be too subtle for the perps.
I enjoyed the read.
Me and My Shadow
Comment Written 27-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2017
Comment from Sis Cat
Yes, Dean, words spoken in anger or carelessness can wound. Your poem drives home the psychic injuries harsh tongues can cause. You also make effective use of simile and W alliteration.
Thank you for sharing and caring.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2017
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Yes, Dean, words spoken in anger or carelessness can wound. Your poem drives home the psychic injuries harsh tongues can cause. You also make effective use of simile and W alliteration.
Thank you for sharing and caring.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2017
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Thanks for weighing in on this one, Andre.
Your comments are always insightful and appreciated.
Take care, my friend.
~Dean
Comment from Teri7
Dean, This is a very well written 5-7-5 poem you have penned. You used very good wording with a great message to them. Very good imagery. Blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2017
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Dean, This is a very well written 5-7-5 poem you have penned. You used very good wording with a great message to them. Very good imagery. Blessings, Teri
Comment Written 27-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2017
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The poem is actually a haiku, not a 5-7-5, Teri. There's a big difference.
Thanks for the comments.
Be blessed, or better yet, be a blessing to someone else.
~Dean
Comment from Zinnia48
You spoke great truth in just a few words. I especially like the way you crafted the last line: the alliteration emphasized emotional impact. Thanks, Dean! Caroline
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2017
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You spoke great truth in just a few words. I especially like the way you crafted the last line: the alliteration emphasized emotional impact. Thanks, Dean! Caroline
Comment Written 27-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2017
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Wow! The "thanks" is quite striking! Alarmingly striking! Caroline
Comment from country ranch writer
Harsh words will cut through a child's heart and leave serious scars for the rest of their. This make them feel inferior to the rest of their peers and it is the same as saying your stupid in so many words.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2017
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Harsh words will cut through a child's heart and leave serious scars for the rest of their. This make them feel inferior to the rest of their peers and it is the same as saying your stupid in so many words.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2017
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Hi pal hope you are keeping well
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I'm hangin' in there...
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Same here dad is now 73 had a birthday the 27th. He is doing okay tired but ok.
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That's great to hear. ;)
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Miss our chats you been busy off running with the pack
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I've been busy submitting manuscripts to editors, CRW, that's what I've been doing.
I don't plan on spending as much time here in the future as I used to.
Hugs...
;)
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Get me out there
