Act of Endurance
Viewing comments for Chapter 73 "My Hero"Dawn of Chaos
63 total reviews
Comment from Aussie
SPAG: his daily job, living life. A paper man. He bent bar steel with his bare hands. He was a giant amongst others; beloved. He stood as a common man. "he was humble, brave and true. The line starting with "Him to save lives." doesn't make sense. Why do you start a sentence with Him? In ordinary English, it should be "He leapt over buildings etc. Your grammar and English needs attention: fix it up and I will look at it again. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
   |
SPAG: his daily job, living life. A paper man. He bent bar steel with his bare hands. He was a giant amongst others; beloved. He stood as a common man. "he was humble, brave and true. The line starting with "Him to save lives." doesn't make sense. Why do you start a sentence with Him? In ordinary English, it should be "He leapt over buildings etc. Your grammar and English needs attention: fix it up and I will look at it again. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 03-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
-
You're right, placed target points for revision -him as he: trying to convey the dual existence. Thanking you for generous rate and captivating comments.
-
If you need some help with your writing, I will help you. We are both in our seventies! Blessings, Kay. Are you dyslexic?
Comment from joannakruk
An interesting piece, loyalty a strong theme but just as prominent is the notion of a quiet achiever. This poem seems to me to suggest that the greatest heroes are those that go about their own business, helping other's without needing any hoo ha or back slapping gratitude from society. My kind of heroes.
Jo
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
|
An interesting piece, loyalty a strong theme but just as prominent is the notion of a quiet achiever. This poem seems to me to suggest that the greatest heroes are those that go about their own business, helping other's without needing any hoo ha or back slapping gratitude from society. My kind of heroes.
Jo
Comment Written 03-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
-
You rang the bell, hopefully the revisions will bring these sentiments out clearly. Thanking you for generous rate and encouraging inspiration.
Comment from Mary Wakeford
The image is priceless that accompanies this very well structured poem of a superman hero. Loved the second stanza,, especially. Excellent!
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
|
The image is priceless that accompanies this very well structured poem of a superman hero. Loved the second stanza,, especially. Excellent!
Comment Written 03-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
-
The ideal was the statement, my revision to those aims will become the poem: already happening. Thanking you for generous rate and welcomed thoughts.
Comment from TAB_that's me
I'm sorry but this so hard to read and I don't understand any of it. Have you read it aloud? It is full of grammar problems and it doesn't make sense. If you change it, let me know and I will re-rate.
teresa
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2016
|
I'm sorry but this so hard to read and I don't understand any of it. Have you read it aloud? It is full of grammar problems and it doesn't make sense. If you change it, let me know and I will re-rate.
teresa
Comment Written 02-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2016
-
Pits, I know. Will consider your statement. Thanking you for generous rate and welcomed thoughts about this write.
Comment from seaglass
He was my hero too, along with Roy Rogers. Something about those traits of morals, restraint, tenderness and toughness, packaged in good looks set a high bar. Something to strive for but not really fair to expect among mortals
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2016
|
He was my hero too, along with Roy Rogers. Something about those traits of morals, restraint, tenderness and toughness, packaged in good looks set a high bar. Something to strive for but not really fair to expect among mortals
Comment Written 02-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2016
-
Every little bit helps, better than not trying at all. Thanking you for generous rate and pleasing conveyances about this write.
Comment from DonandVicki
A very interesting and emotional poem that brings out a lot of emotion. You open the door to a lot of imagination and vivid images with your words.
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2016
|
A very interesting and emotional poem that brings out a lot of emotion. You open the door to a lot of imagination and vivid images with your words.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2016
-
Once pits are removed, a smoother swallow: hopefully. Thanking you for generous rate and captivating views.
Comment from tony bronk
I don't understand all those "hims" and "thems" They are so inappropriate and in error in grammar. Are they that way on purpose? I don't know? Your notes don't say. I have to assume they are spags...what else? Sorry. Unless I had an explanation. Told as a child? I don't know, you didn't say? Tony Bronk
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2016
|
I don't understand all those "hims" and "thems" They are so inappropriate and in error in grammar. Are they that way on purpose? I don't know? Your notes don't say. I have to assume they are spags...what else? Sorry. Unless I had an explanation. Told as a child? I don't know, you didn't say? Tony Bronk
Comment Written 02-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2016
-
Pits are in my write, this particular piece a split personality: Kent as he. Thanking you for generous rate and welcomed views.
-
I will correct your ranking. I didn't understand. Thank you. Tony
Comment from Lynn27
I did enjoyed your poem. But it was hard to understand throughout your piece. My recommendation try using NaturalReader: it's software that read your material to you. That's how I edit, dealing with Dysgraphia.
Lynn
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2016
|
I did enjoyed your poem. But it was hard to understand throughout your piece. My recommendation try using NaturalReader: it's software that read your material to you. That's how I edit, dealing with Dysgraphia.
Lynn
Comment Written 02-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2016
-
A least a little of the effort was felt meriting your generous rate, which I thank you. And the advise.
Comment from l.raven
HI TPAC, nicely written story...it would be wonderful if everyone were so kind to people...and yes Superman was...love your story told...and the picture is precious...luff Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2016
|
HI TPAC, nicely written story...it would be wonderful if everyone were so kind to people...and yes Superman was...love your story told...and the picture is precious...luff Linda xxoo
Comment Written 02-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2016
-
The picture took the spotlight, my boy is rough; glad the write was somewhat pleasing: thought appealing to interests. Thanking you for generous rate and captivating views.
-
you are so very welcome...xxoo Linda
Comment from An Awakened Heart
I really like your story.
The meaning and flow are great.
The pictures you paint with your words are splendid. My only recommendation is that you read it over and correct grammatical errors.
Please look at the words "He," "Him," "His." Unless this poem is written through the eyes/ affectation of the child in the photo.)
upgraded to 5 stars. Thank you for the clarification. Totally makes sense! : )
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2016
|
I really like your story.
The meaning and flow are great.
The pictures you paint with your words are splendid. My only recommendation is that you read it over and correct grammatical errors.
Please look at the words "He," "Him," "His." Unless this poem is written through the eyes/ affectation of the child in the photo.)
upgraded to 5 stars. Thank you for the clarification. Totally makes sense! : )
Comment Written 02-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2016
-
Not really a child, but attempt to separate Kent as he and Superman as him: pits. Thanking you for generous rate and captivating thoughts.
-
Upgraded to 5 stars. Thank you for the clarification