THE TRINING Book Three
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "Big Surprise For Doctrex"JOURNEY INTO REDEMPTION
37 total reviews
Comment from Tomes Johnston
This is yet another interesting addition to the story that the author has created with this piece of writing. I was in the Irish Guards and our Supreme Colonel, or Colonel in Chief was the queen. Happy new year.
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015
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This is yet another interesting addition to the story that the author has created with this piece of writing. I was in the Irish Guards and our Supreme Colonel, or Colonel in Chief was the queen. Happy new year.
Comment Written 27-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015
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Thanks for reading, Tomes. The queen must have been paid nicely for that.
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The queen is Colonel in Chief of a lot of regiments.
Comment from chcbeck
A great addition. I love the way you have portrayed the chief with so many insecurities.
When you said cheil in one line did you mean chief? I am looking forward to the next instalment
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2015
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A great addition. I love the way you have portrayed the chief with so many insecurities.
When you said cheil in one line did you mean chief? I am looking forward to the next instalment
Comment Written 27-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2015
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No, Chiel is the head cook in the palace. Thanks for reading, friend. Hope you come back and sample some more.
Comment from Sis Cat
Oh, Axtilla is back in the story. She is too good (wicked and conflicted) to pass up. Still on my Star Wars buzz, I am enjoying this chapter immensely. I appreciate more the craft it takes to write compelling fantasy. The story is vivid with fascinating characters and plot turns.
The one discordant note was your mention of the Three Musketeers' slogan. I am so deep into the world you created that I did not want to be reminded of the fiction of our "real" world. This would be like reading "Lord of the Rings" and hearing Frodo and Sam have a conversation about "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe." It is jarring. It brings me out of the fantasy world you created and puts me in the world Dumas created. You could strengthen that section by creating a new myth or slogan that conveys the same meaning.
One spag is that the lines to the "Dear General Doctrex" note are all over the place.
Other than that, I am having a blast and I look forward to the next chapter. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2015
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Oh, Axtilla is back in the story. She is too good (wicked and conflicted) to pass up. Still on my Star Wars buzz, I am enjoying this chapter immensely. I appreciate more the craft it takes to write compelling fantasy. The story is vivid with fascinating characters and plot turns.
The one discordant note was your mention of the Three Musketeers' slogan. I am so deep into the world you created that I did not want to be reminded of the fiction of our "real" world. This would be like reading "Lord of the Rings" and hearing Frodo and Sam have a conversation about "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe." It is jarring. It brings me out of the fantasy world you created and puts me in the world Dumas created. You could strengthen that section by creating a new myth or slogan that conveys the same meaning.
One spag is that the lines to the "Dear General Doctrex" note are all over the place.
Other than that, I am having a blast and I look forward to the next chapter. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 27-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2015
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Oh, I know the letter has given me fits. I should probably just align it to the left side and forget making it look like a letter. You might have something about the Three Musketeers allusion. I'll note that for the final edit. It's a good point. Thanks for the six, Andre, but your words are far more important than the rating in case you have someone else you'd like to favor with it. No, you can't have this one back! But next time.
Bless you my good friend. Have a safe and published New Year.
Comment from Zue65
This chapter is really intense, the rebel movement is in full swing with Doctrex being considered as their leader, I guess. Axtilla has secret plans with Doctrex of course. Is this like a Trojan horse in the palace of Ginot? The next chapters will surely be exciting and action packed. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2015
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This chapter is really intense, the rebel movement is in full swing with Doctrex being considered as their leader, I guess. Axtilla has secret plans with Doctrex of course. Is this like a Trojan horse in the palace of Ginot? The next chapters will surely be exciting and action packed. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 27-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2015
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Many thanks, Nassus. I'm pleased you enjoyed this chapter. You are very kind and generous with your comments and rating.
Comment from trumby
I LOVE this post. Do you know what this post does, mate ?
It gives EVERY man on earth an excuse for staring at a Sheila's legs.
I wish that I'd read this story before I was married. It would have things so much simpler.
Now I can just say to ladies that "my mate Jay gave me permission to stare at your legs."
YAY!!!!!
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2015
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I LOVE this post. Do you know what this post does, mate ?
It gives EVERY man on earth an excuse for staring at a Sheila's legs.
I wish that I'd read this story before I was married. It would have things so much simpler.
Now I can just say to ladies that "my mate Jay gave me permission to stare at your legs."
YAY!!!!!
Comment Written 27-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2015
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Hahaha! At first I had no Idea what you were talking about, but, hey, if it gets any action for my friends the chapter fulfilled it's purpose. Thanks, Trumby. So happy you read this.
Comment from Earthwriter
this piece seemed very well developed the dialogue seemed to be believeable with good flow i cannot see anything that needs changed good job.
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reply by the author on 27-Dec-2015
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this piece seemed very well developed the dialogue seemed to be believeable with good flow i cannot see anything that needs changed good job.
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Comment Written 27-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2015
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THank you Earthwriter. Appreciate your reading this.
Comment from chasennov
Chapter 26 of the book THE TRINING Book Three All Prisoners Should Have it So Good "Big Surprise For Doctrex" Just as awesome and flawless as all the other chapters you have created. A very fine example, my friend. Well done.
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reply by the author on 27-Dec-2015
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Chapter 26 of the book THE TRINING Book Three All Prisoners Should Have it So Good "Big Surprise For Doctrex" Just as awesome and flawless as all the other chapters you have created. A very fine example, my friend. Well done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2015
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Thanks mucho, chas. I'm glad you're reading it.
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You're most welcome, my friend.