THE TRINING Book Three
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "Sunset of Doctrex, Dawn of Pondria?"JOURNEY INTO REDEMPTION
35 total reviews
Comment from Sis Cat
Yes, are the days of Doctrex coming to an end? Novella appears to be wrapping up as characters explain the prophecy and ponder if it will come to fruition. Doctrex wonders if he is Doctrex or Pondria, the question awaits to be answered.
Once again, I read this chapter closely for how you use words and build suspense. I found no spags, only imaginative writing with a high level of craftsmanship and creativity.
Thank you for sharing your best.
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2015
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Yes, are the days of Doctrex coming to an end? Novella appears to be wrapping up as characters explain the prophecy and ponder if it will come to fruition. Doctrex wonders if he is Doctrex or Pondria, the question awaits to be answered.
Once again, I read this chapter closely for how you use words and build suspense. I found no spags, only imaginative writing with a high level of craftsmanship and creativity.
Thank you for sharing your best.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2015
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Thank you so much for the Six stars, Andre and for your generous words. With this as fillip, I shall go into tomorrow to work on the last of the party episode. Bless you.
Comment from royowen
A fascinating episode Jay the reconciliation seems that Glnot Reuther and Pondria cannot possibly be reconciled, well, not return to what it was, it seems that whoever holds the keys it's certainly not Reuther. Could it be that Reuther can defeated without a single drop of blood is spilt? Will Pondria and Axtilla reunite? It's not an ending I ever thought would come! Well done, my friend, great scribing, blessings, Roy
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reply by the author on 01-Nov-2015
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A fascinating episode Jay the reconciliation seems that Glnot Reuther and Pondria cannot possibly be reconciled, well, not return to what it was, it seems that whoever holds the keys it's certainly not Reuther. Could it be that Reuther can defeated without a single drop of blood is spilt? Will Pondria and Axtilla reunite? It's not an ending I ever thought would come! Well done, my friend, great scribing, blessings, Roy
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Comment Written 01-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2015
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Oh, there's a tad more before the ending. Some things I don't think anyone's going to see coming. Blessings, Roy.
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Well done Jay
Comment from June Estep Fiorelli
Yes, well written and moves us forward nicely.
I wondered about the reference to the seer causing them to be conjoined in the womb. That doesn't require magic; it happens. Perhaps you mean late instead of in the egg stage? Just wondering.
Para. beginning "I know brother." you use "Know" 3 times. Maybe change 1 of them.
It's just my opinion, Jay, but I thought "refilled sockets" was a bit overblown. Sorry.
Toward the end, when Ginot was "seeing the light" I'd like him to say more about the seer communicating with him...guiding his way .... "the seer is making it clear to me" kind of thing. I know that Doctrex has been manipulating Ginot, but let Ginot believe it's coming from the seer. You did touch on it; I'd like more. A phrase would be enough.
Now that Ginot is humbled, I'm beginning to wonder which one is most evil.
Your response to my last critique prompted me to stay up to do this one. (Glad my daughter isn't here to berate me. I'm a night owl.) Besides, being late to respond on the last post, I got a measly 2 cents and 1 point. LOL
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2015
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Yes, well written and moves us forward nicely.
I wondered about the reference to the seer causing them to be conjoined in the womb. That doesn't require magic; it happens. Perhaps you mean late instead of in the egg stage? Just wondering.
Para. beginning "I know brother." you use "Know" 3 times. Maybe change 1 of them.
It's just my opinion, Jay, but I thought "refilled sockets" was a bit overblown. Sorry.
Toward the end, when Ginot was "seeing the light" I'd like him to say more about the seer communicating with him...guiding his way .... "the seer is making it clear to me" kind of thing. I know that Doctrex has been manipulating Ginot, but let Ginot believe it's coming from the seer. You did touch on it; I'd like more. A phrase would be enough.
Now that Ginot is humbled, I'm beginning to wonder which one is most evil.
Your response to my last critique prompted me to stay up to do this one. (Glad my daughter isn't here to berate me. I'm a night owl.) Besides, being late to respond on the last post, I got a measly 2 cents and 1 point. LOL
Comment Written 01-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2015
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That doesn't require magic; it happens. Perhaps you mean late instead of in the egg stage? Just wondering. [Even if Pondria knew this, he wouldn't tell Rhuether it just happens. It would destroy his ploy (and my chapter. LOL). Thanks, June. I'll check into the purple prose (refilled sockets) as well as the more conceptual thing about the seer steering Pondria (It isn't, of course.)
As usual, your crits are a step above. I really appreciate them.
Comment from c_lucas
A sane man does not know how to deal with madness. A insane man doesn't know how to deal with sanity. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read.
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reply by the author on 01-Nov-2015
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A sane man does not know how to deal with madness. A insane man doesn't know how to deal with sanity. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2015
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Thank you, Charlie. Hey, a little bit of psychology. I love it.
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You're welcome, J. Charlie
Comment from lancellot
Hmm, an interesting discussion between the two. I doubt that what seemed like madness and total power can be so easily given up or its influence forgotten. Glnot is all powerful and that is a corruption that goes deep.
note:
"If you were the seer, what would you require of Glnot Rhuether?["]
- add
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2015
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Hmm, an interesting discussion between the two. I doubt that what seemed like madness and total power can be so easily given up or its influence forgotten. Glnot is all powerful and that is a corruption that goes deep.
note:
"If you were the seer, what would you require of Glnot Rhuether?["]
- add
Comment Written 01-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2015
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Took care of the slipped closed quote. Thanks for pointing it out. I really appreciate the six. I hope you continue to like this story line's trajectory.