One, Two, Three
60 word dash story35 total reviews
Comment from SimplyK
Funny and neat.
felt you could have used stronger verb for more resonance with this statement 'told himself in the mirror'
Like the ending. Smile toothy
best wishes for the contest
blessings K
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reply by the author on 16-Mar-2015
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Funny and neat.
felt you could have used stronger verb for more resonance with this statement 'told himself in the mirror'
Like the ending. Smile toothy
best wishes for the contest
blessings K
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2015
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Thanks.
Comment from scd41
What ingenuity to take a loose tooth out! Why not: man is always in his best when he is driven to the wall. Many are mortally scared to go to dentists. It could, however, affect the dentists' profession. Best of luck for the contest.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2015
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What ingenuity to take a loose tooth out! Why not: man is always in his best when he is driven to the wall. Many are mortally scared to go to dentists. It could, however, affect the dentists' profession. Best of luck for the contest.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2015
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Thank you for your review and taking the time to read and share your thoughts for my micro story. I'm glad you enjoyed.
Comment from Walu Feral
Hahahaha! G'day mate, I didn't see that twist coming at all. I thought the poor bugger was going to kill himself. This is a great contest entry and I wish you luck, cheers Fez
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2015
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Hahahaha! G'day mate, I didn't see that twist coming at all. I thought the poor bugger was going to kill himself. This is a great contest entry and I wish you luck, cheers Fez
Comment Written 16-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2015
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Thank you so very much, Fez, for your review and comments for my flash fiction story. I very much appreciate your taking the time to read and for your good luck wish for the contest.
Comment from mfowler
Super sixty worder, yes.
We were all meant to think that Jake was gunna kill himself.
We were all meant to think was an angst ridden youth seeking out cord from the garage to do the dirty deed.
Now that puts a reader on edge!
And Jake turns out to be a cute kid with an old fashioned way to pull a loose tooth! Crazy, but cool.
Your flash holds the climax till the very end, essence of good flash.
Well conceived, very well written.
Loved the: He grinned. "Yeth! I did it!"..perfect finish.
Best of luck.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2015
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Super sixty worder, yes.
We were all meant to think that Jake was gunna kill himself.
We were all meant to think was an angst ridden youth seeking out cord from the garage to do the dirty deed.
Now that puts a reader on edge!
And Jake turns out to be a cute kid with an old fashioned way to pull a loose tooth! Crazy, but cool.
Your flash holds the climax till the very end, essence of good flash.
Well conceived, very well written.
Loved the: He grinned. "Yeth! I did it!"..perfect finish.
Best of luck.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2015
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Thank you, Mark, for your very kind review and comments for my flash fiction story. Your response is appreciated and I'm so pleased you enjoyed the misdirection. My brother did the doorknob slam once because he wanted the tooth fairy money. Thanks,so much.
Comment from kiwisteveh
This is well-constructed - the tension is built up as he collects 'equipment' - what is it for. Then you reach the conclusion and that wonderful last line.
This is the betht of these I have read so far.
Good luck.
Steve
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reply by the author on 16-Mar-2015
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This is well-constructed - the tension is built up as he collects 'equipment' - what is it for. Then you reach the conclusion and that wonderful last line.
This is the betht of these I have read so far.
Good luck.
Steve
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2015
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LOL thanks for your great review and kind comments for this micro flash fiction story, Steve. Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts. I'm delighted you enjoyed.
