Chasing the Elusive Dream
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Surprise! Surprise!"A southern couple's journey in the 60's,70's & 80'
40 total reviews
Comment from Sankey
Very nice again. Was interested in the way you wrote the weights of the twins looked like height measurements instead of pounds and ounces hehe.
Couple of possible errors..
"placement on page" about the artwork on the ads etc should there be a "the" in there?
":The vaccine against this 'dread?" disease should that be dreaded. I realise in our different 'grammaticals' in different countries I might be being a bit picky ok!
Thanks again for a wonderful read each time I read your true accounts I know I need to start putting my own book together.
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2013
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Very nice again. Was interested in the way you wrote the weights of the twins looked like height measurements instead of pounds and ounces hehe.
Couple of possible errors..
"placement on page" about the artwork on the ads etc should there be a "the" in there?
":The vaccine against this 'dread?" disease should that be dreaded. I realise in our different 'grammaticals' in different countries I might be being a bit picky ok!
Thanks again for a wonderful read each time I read your true accounts I know I need to start putting my own book together.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much for the review and nice comments and I especially want to thank you for catching some spags I missed. I can't believe I wrote the weights that way and no one else mentioned it. LOL You're not picky. You're right on all counts..
Beth
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Yeah well OI forget where you are USA is it? and seeing Amurrikans drive on the wrong side of the road and all :D
Comment from adewpearl
What a beautiful, beautiful child :-)
her grandson, who was about - I added the comma
Carol sounds like she has a bit of ESP :-)
Another very eventful part of your life chronicled in good detail :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2013
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What a beautiful, beautiful child :-)
her grandson, who was about - I added the comma
Carol sounds like she has a bit of ESP :-)
Another very eventful part of your life chronicled in good detail :-) Brooke
Comment Written 11-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much Brooke. I appreciate the review and rating and for catching the missing comma.
Beth
Comment from dukeofec
The story is very entertaining and touches the heart of the reader. There are a few places in the story that are a little rough.Take a look at punctuation and word usage. I enjoyed the story. I am sure a lot of people can relate to the story's content. Carol reminds me of my little girl when she was small.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2013
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The story is very entertaining and touches the heart of the reader. There are a few places in the story that are a little rough.Take a look at punctuation and word usage. I enjoyed the story. I am sure a lot of people can relate to the story's content. Carol reminds me of my little girl when she was small.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much for the review and the great comments and suggestions. I've corrected some of the punctuation. I'm glad you found the story entertaining.
Beth
Comment from judiverse
This is so heart-warming I have to go with a six. I love that your daughter Carol turned out to be a fortune teller (cute picture of her, by the way.) She said she wanted a boy and girl and got her wish. The timing seemed right as you had lost your job when the publication folded, and your husband felt he was in a good position financially. Sounds like you had a wonderful baby sitter. A great job of showing what life for working women was like in years past. You have an excellent presentation, keeping to the topic and wording your article carefully. judi
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2013
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This is so heart-warming I have to go with a six. I love that your daughter Carol turned out to be a fortune teller (cute picture of her, by the way.) She said she wanted a boy and girl and got her wish. The timing seemed right as you had lost your job when the publication folded, and your husband felt he was in a good position financially. Sounds like you had a wonderful baby sitter. A great job of showing what life for working women was like in years past. You have an excellent presentation, keeping to the topic and wording your article carefully. judi
Comment Written 11-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2013
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Thank you Judi, I really appreciate the six stars. I enjoyed reading your comments and I'm so pleased you considered this worthy of six stars.
Beth
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You're so welcome. judi
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This is delightful and from the heart. I think it was easy to read. The "gull n' boy" was endearing, as I remember I also had a hard time saying "r" sounds at that age. There are more than half a dozen places to fix punctuation, and I'm sure other reviewers will point out some.
With:
"Guess what!", I shouted into the phone. "We having twins."
I would take the comma out after the quotation marks and change the exclamation mark to a question mark, but change the period after 'twins' to the exclamation mark. So it would be:
"Guess what?" I shouted into the phone. "We having twins!"
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2013
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This is delightful and from the heart. I think it was easy to read. The "gull n' boy" was endearing, as I remember I also had a hard time saying "r" sounds at that age. There are more than half a dozen places to fix punctuation, and I'm sure other reviewers will point out some.
With:
"Guess what!", I shouted into the phone. "We having twins."
I would take the comma out after the quotation marks and change the exclamation mark to a question mark, but change the period after 'twins' to the exclamation mark. So it would be:
"Guess what?" I shouted into the phone. "We having twins!"
Comment Written 11-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much for the great review and the suggestions. I really appreciate it. Carol used to say haas for hair and chase for chair. She did avoid the r's.
Beth
Comment from nancy_e_davis
What a lovely little girl. Adorable. This was a very uplifting chapter and I enjoyed it. Twins that size had to make you miserable. I was huge with one baby at six plus pounds.Congrats! Nancy
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2013
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What a lovely little girl. Adorable. This was a very uplifting chapter and I enjoyed it. Twins that size had to make you miserable. I was huge with one baby at six plus pounds.Congrats! Nancy
Comment Written 11-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much for this review and for your comments. Yes that was a lot of baby to be lugging around. I was pretty miserable. I'm glad they didn't come late. They were actually five days early. I managed to get back home for Christmas.
Beth
Comment from c_lucas
Carol could use her prediction to start out as a psychic. (LOL) This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read.
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2013
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Carol could use her prediction to start out as a psychic. (LOL) This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much for the review and the nice comments.
I appreciate you reading and commenting.
Beth
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You're welcome, Beth. Charlie
Comment from Rosalyne
Hi BethShelby,
Your story is well-written and pulled me in right from the onset. Losing one's job is never easy, but sometimes life has a way of rewarding us. You were rewarded with twins. The picture of your daughter Carol is beautiful.From reading this post, you share a warmth about your wonderful family.
Bye
Rosalyne
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2013
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Hi BethShelby,
Your story is well-written and pulled me in right from the onset. Losing one's job is never easy, but sometimes life has a way of rewarding us. You were rewarded with twins. The picture of your daughter Carol is beautiful.From reading this post, you share a warmth about your wonderful family.
Bye
Rosalyne
Comment Written 11-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much, Rosalyne. I really appreciate the review and the lovely comments.
Beth
Comment from Kidlike101
Interesting bio. My concern is the pace of it is inconstant, there are bits were I would have loved to hear in a more elaborate way (like how every project was an experience in itself)
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2013
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Interesting bio. My concern is the pace of it is inconstant, there are bits were I would have loved to hear in a more elaborate way (like how every project was an experience in itself)
Comment Written 11-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much for the review and comments. This is part of a much longer bio. There is a lot more about the jobs in those other parts. This chapter is only about the one job at the newspaper.
Beth
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, miss beth, you did an excellent job writing this chapter where you learn the paper is going under and you're pregnant with twins. that had to be a fearful but blessed time for you. i enjoyed reading it and i just love the picture
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reply by the author on 11-Aug-2013
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this is very well written, miss beth, you did an excellent job writing this chapter where you learn the paper is going under and you're pregnant with twins. that had to be a fearful but blessed time for you. i enjoyed reading it and i just love the picture
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2013
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THank you so much for the review and comments. I guess the timeing was right for having another chile. I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
Beth
