Deluded
Modified Triolets in Trochaic Meter ...40 total reviews
Comment from Janice Canerdy
After I read the notes, I took this poem apart looking for a flaw! I didn't find one. It's really VERY good. (I'm out of 6's.) As I read I thought of how I was scolded for giving a 4 to a highly-rated poet several weeks back.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2012
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After I read the notes, I took this poem apart looking for a flaw! I didn't find one. It's really VERY good. (I'm out of 6's.) As I read I thought of how I was scolded for giving a 4 to a highly-rated poet several weeks back.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2012
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Haha, I tweaked this one right into submission my friend so hopefully no flaws appeared! LOL cheers and thanks for the wish of a sixer, thats good enough for me...hey, I was MUTED for giving four reviews to a top 10 no talent...i gave a 3 then 5 then 5 then 3 and then she promptly muted me...for goodness sake. How petty! I could clearly see she was worried I was toying with her precious and thoroughly PURCHASED ranking...unbelieveable yet believeable I'm afraid...one of the sad realities of mans greed and need for false pride...kinda sucks huh?
Cheers and thanks again...stay true to yourself...give em a 4 if they deserve it...if its done without malice and with a little tact and of course some genuine critique they have NOTHING to go you for except for denting their precious ego...they need to build a bridge.
Closet xo
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I have decided that from now on I'm NOT going to wimp-out and give a 5 when I KNOW it should be a 3 or a 4. When I give less than a 5, I give specific, well-grounded reasons. Thanks for the reply! Janice
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Hey - good for you.
Don't compromise your principles if they're good ones.
Cheers Phillippa xo
Comment from Chris Tee
Well I know how hard it is to write in trochaic meter and think you gave us all a good indication how to do it properly. Next time I shall try without having to abandon. I hope you do not mind me bookcase this for in depth scrutiny.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2012
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Well I know how hard it is to write in trochaic meter and think you gave us all a good indication how to do it properly. Next time I shall try without having to abandon. I hope you do not mind me bookcase this for in depth scrutiny.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2012
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Hi Chris, thanks so much for the sterling review and for bookcasing. I can recommend seeing something through to the end like this, or if you have trouble, set it down for a little while and then come back for another go...it often works better with a little break inbetween to vent frustration...after all, you are completely reversing the da DUMS to DUM das...
Cheers and thanks a bunch...I know you can do it.
Closet xoxo
Comment from Bina1
Sound great to me, but I am the first to admit,I don't know much! The "reward" system @ fs mystifies me. My review does not complete the picture for sure. I can't be wicked though, for as I said, really, what do I know. If it is a subject I don't care for I skip it. I think that is only fair to the writer. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2012
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Sound great to me, but I am the first to admit,I don't know much! The "reward" system @ fs mystifies me. My review does not complete the picture for sure. I can't be wicked though, for as I said, really, what do I know. If it is a subject I don't care for I skip it. I think that is only fair to the writer. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2012
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I absolutely agree, if its that bad skip it, no matter what it pays. But if you feel its a four not a five then reflect that and ignore the pay rate. I appreciate your thoughtful review.
Cheers closet
Comment from adewpearl
It's good to see a new poem by you, Phillippa
Good use of trochaic meter that makes for excellent flow in your triolets
I like your modifications in the repeating lines
Effective satiric commentary on the nature of reviewing and how it relates to promoting on this site
good alliteration in bucks will baste and purchased pride and boost and bolster
Catapalt me high - catapult
I also like your mono-rhyming final stanza
mono-rhyming is not my favorite style, but it works well with humor like this
My fantasy is that all the behaviors people are rightly critical of on this site will vanish so that good poets can go back to using their talents to write poems about the real world. :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2012
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It's good to see a new poem by you, Phillippa
Good use of trochaic meter that makes for excellent flow in your triolets
I like your modifications in the repeating lines
Effective satiric commentary on the nature of reviewing and how it relates to promoting on this site
good alliteration in bucks will baste and purchased pride and boost and bolster
Catapalt me high - catapult
I also like your mono-rhyming final stanza
mono-rhyming is not my favorite style, but it works well with humor like this
My fantasy is that all the behaviors people are rightly critical of on this site will vanish so that good poets can go back to using their talents to write poems about the real world. :-) Brooke
Comment Written 08-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2012
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As opposed to an old poem? LOL LOL Kidding Brookers...I know what you meant...Glad you liked this new one and thanks for your thoughts and comments as always. I am hardly here at the moment but you know I explained all that to you when you hunted me down...I thankyou for your concern there. I know this is way off the triolet base but I have not put notes in before and people tell me I have the same rhyme three times in the stanza...so that was only to shut those up...I almost feel as though the only similar part to the triolet was the 8 syllable lines! LOL Its a frustration of many that the deluded ones can promote promote (CRAP) and rise in the rankings, very nearly to the top way past the real talent who refuse to do so. (To be honest I find most of the best and unique writing promoted around the 42 and 52 cent mark...modest in my book. I promote most of mine at the mo at 62c as I am posting way less, or if they are a little longer. For instance if you post a Whitney or a Quintilla at a buck then you are going to by average get a lot more people reviewing yours than if I post something equally as good but say a 5 stanza rhymer and only at 62c (which btw is quite high for me) then I know who is going to get more reviews...but THATS not what bothers me...what bothers me is that some people plain don't say what they think, or are just happy to take the bucks leave the fluffy stuff and run. I would honestly rather have 10 quality reviews to 50 empty ones. I mean, I know its a site for all kinds of talent. I only ask that people stop reflecting the amount of dollars promoted as to the actual talent within the writing. People assess on different things but we should surely all be following a basic pattern. In all honesty Brooke I think as long as a site is driven by money there will always be those who work within the rules to raise their standing as high as they possibly can. When the writing backs up the promotion by all means give a glowing review. I am so sick of peoples cut and paste reviews that prove they have barely read it, if at all...and I am sick to death of those who decide to MUTE you when you give tactful, honest and helpful critique to improve their work. I can not believe some of the antics of people here who bask in their untalent and empty accolades. Reviewers need to grow a bloody backbone and say what they think, just with a little tact and the author needs to build a bridge and get over the fact that they may not have impressed the reviewer nearly as much as they're write has impressed themselves. NO ONE is beyond criticism here Brooke...after all if we were ALL that good we would be off signing publishing deals and doing TV and we would be basking in REAL accolades. This is merely writers at play who are either working towards getting published, or just filling time or are so scared shitless they're stuff is no good they have to promote to the highest degree to rake in shallow frothy words of amazement at the apparent skill. I totally agree with your last line. Thanks for the great review and for speaking your mind about these mindless twaddlers. I understand also you are not a fan of the monorhyme, not everyone is...I must say I love it, but it HAS to be done well and not drone on too long...I appreciate your spag pick up too.
Have a great weekend, your review and comments are extremely valued. By god woman, just how is it you are everywhere at once?
I also read you are going to be a grandma in a few months...congrats and that will sure keep you busy sometimes...I look forward to seeing plenty of cute writes soon.
Cheers and thanks a big bundle Brookers...so glad you liked this one...I think there is a lesson in here for EVERYBODY.
Phillippa xoxo
Comment from Frankeddy
Very good Triolet, with the message made loud and clear.
I checked number of lines, syllables etc and to me they are right on.
You always do a nice job getting the needed message stated and to the point. Perfect choice of picture and setting. Good rhyme.
Much needed message.
Good work. Frankeddy
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2012
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Very good Triolet, with the message made loud and clear.
I checked number of lines, syllables etc and to me they are right on.
You always do a nice job getting the needed message stated and to the point. Perfect choice of picture and setting. Good rhyme.
Much needed message.
Good work. Frankeddy
Comment Written 08-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2012
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Thanks Ed, I appreciate your thoughtful review and I know inspite of this, nothing will really change. It will probably be an ongoing frustration of many.
Cheers and thanks for dropping by...hope you had a great anniversary...
Closet xoxo
Comment from Carrie Carson
I like this, it has a smooth flow, good rhythm and consistent pattern. I'm not one who can justly bash someone else's ego, I know I have one from hell. If a piece is that much fluff, I move on, no muss, no fuss.
Don't see any spag or problems with this piece.
Good job. I'm with you. I'm slow in coming to the realization of what it takes to get reviews even for what I think are a few good attempts on my part. But, yes, I've been known to be deluded.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2012
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I like this, it has a smooth flow, good rhythm and consistent pattern. I'm not one who can justly bash someone else's ego, I know I have one from hell. If a piece is that much fluff, I move on, no muss, no fuss.
Don't see any spag or problems with this piece.
Good job. I'm with you. I'm slow in coming to the realization of what it takes to get reviews even for what I think are a few good attempts on my part. But, yes, I've been known to be deluded.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2012
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Hi Carrie, but I am not really this crass in my reviews. I just get frustrated to a point where it comes out in a write.
I just think people need to try and exercise tact and integrity and a little honesty when it comes to the trade off of bucks for comment. ITs THAT simple...people can promote at whatever they want...however if a no talent posts and promotes sky high and noone has the courtesy of trying to help them, or if they feel they are beyond reproach because of the bucks, then we do have some serious probs here. I know there are writers of many levels and some are serious, some are just here for fun. When the lines become blurred between thinking you have actual talent and noone having the b*lls to critique constructively, then NO one ends up a winner. I am sure if someone critiqued your work with HELPFUL advice, you wouldn't mind perhaps getting a four as you can see where there needs to be valid improvement...
I think we are all a little deluded with our own writing and thats okay...its the ones who are supposed to be bringing us back to earth that also need to be realistic.
Cheers and just for you I am gonna drop in and read a couple of your posts. Sometimes its hard to get good work out there when you don't have a lot of promotion bucks. I promote around 62c because my posts are waning and they are usually a screed. However with that said, I would take any rating anyone gives as long as they can back it up with appropriate critique that THEY see fit. When someone slaps a three on you and says it was great, its SO obviously they either didn't read it, or just have it in for you. Often the explanation on the rating means so much more than the actual rating when it comes to fours and threes. People just expect fives and sixers now and when you get complacent, you sure don't like receiving a below average score. I say if its helpful in improving your poem - build a bridge. I've built MANY bridges. LOL LOL
Cheers and thanks for a sterling review that told me exactly how you feel.
Closet
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Cool, I'd appreciate you dropping in, I think. I joined I'm a Ham Roast me contest, but from the other writers in that I haven't seen anything new. I do hope you enjoy my posts, frankly some of what I read ASTOUNDS me.
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I just reviewed it.
Go see.
You did GOOD.
xx
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What do you mean you THINK???
LOL LOL
I'll be gentle, I told you I ain't no crass reviewer. Just a crass writer. LOL
x
Comment from joann r romei
I am giving you a five because you are someone who tells it like it is, that is a wonderful thing, statement s in the poem are true about alot of things and it is humorous,
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2012
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I am giving you a five because you are someone who tells it like it is, that is a wonderful thing, statement s in the poem are true about alot of things and it is humorous,
Comment Written 08-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2012
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Many thanks and yes I tend to say exactly what I think. It browns off plenty but I have to be honest...thats what this darn site needs at times. More people need to grow a damn backbone or at least go to their local hospital for an implant. LOL
Cheers closet
Comment from LilHippie
Very good. It took me a while to get that you were referring to FS, and not life in general! First, your poem is very well written, with great flow, rhyme and rhythm. I have not tried a triolet yet, or really any form of poetry other than acrostic and standard rhyme. It is sad to think that people would not want honest critisism and help. Why come here then. It doesn't make sense. Kind of like paying to win a beauty contest, looking at the others and knowing they are much lovlier than you. Well, thank you for writing this and letting people know how you feel. Silence is Death! lol
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2012
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Very good. It took me a while to get that you were referring to FS, and not life in general! First, your poem is very well written, with great flow, rhyme and rhythm. I have not tried a triolet yet, or really any form of poetry other than acrostic and standard rhyme. It is sad to think that people would not want honest critisism and help. Why come here then. It doesn't make sense. Kind of like paying to win a beauty contest, looking at the others and knowing they are much lovlier than you. Well, thank you for writing this and letting people know how you feel. Silence is Death! lol
Comment Written 08-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2012
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Haha thanks a bunch. Yes it IS sad about the situation here but there is some sound advice I feel for both poster and reviewer alike...poster - be prepared for critique no matter what you post at...reviewer - be prepared to critique properly no matter how many bucks you are gleaning. Its THAT simple.
Cheers and thanks for a wonderful review...
Closet xo
Comment from mauial
It's an imperfect system that's for sure. And I do agree with you that we should not feel impelled to give a good rating just because of the bucks involved. There are several poets that write drivel and I see they get lots of praise and it makes me wonder am I that dunce that I cans't understand and then I see the reviewer was well paid. If I write that I am lost as to what they wrote, I get no courtesy reply :)
After I intially wrote this review, I reviewed a poem that just didn't make sense. This is what happened.The poet instead of asking the question I posed in my review, chided my review and then went looking to review one of my writes and in the review said she should have given me a 3 like I did her but she gave me a 4 instead. I could sense the venom in that review :(
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2012
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It's an imperfect system that's for sure. And I do agree with you that we should not feel impelled to give a good rating just because of the bucks involved. There are several poets that write drivel and I see they get lots of praise and it makes me wonder am I that dunce that I cans't understand and then I see the reviewer was well paid. If I write that I am lost as to what they wrote, I get no courtesy reply :)
After I intially wrote this review, I reviewed a poem that just didn't make sense. This is what happened.The poet instead of asking the question I posed in my review, chided my review and then went looking to review one of my writes and in the review said she should have given me a 3 like I did her but she gave me a 4 instead. I could sense the venom in that review :(
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2012
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Oooh what a nasty little bit of vengeance there slated back at you...obviously everyones rating degrees vary however we all have to follow some basic rules and you can't sit there and say you infact love a post or that it flowed well blah de blah and then give a three...however if ANY rating is backed up with appropriate comment then the author must really take a good look at what is said...good or bad. I think people should promote at whatever they want...THAT we can't stop...however if enough people gave the crap at the top of the page (if it was crap of course) a low score or even NOT bother reviewing if that bad...then the person doing all that extra promoting would soon realise money don't even buy a review...let alone a half reasonable one...they may drop the pretence and perhaps be a bit more modest with promotion next time and concentrate MORE on trying to improve. Then again there are some here who are so deluded it won't matter what you say...I've given up on many of those and only try and help those who appreciate it and at times at least take on board what you say, not ignore you or give next to no thanks which is what the delusional ones seem to thrive on. I know who is learning the most around here...and I sure feel sorry for them in a sense...then I think of their arrogance and ignorance and then think completely differently. I just want a fair and just system. Thanks so much and I guess every system is imperfect. I get fairly crapped off with it now and again and vent by way of post in the hope some of the ninnies read it. I see plenty wide berthed me for a review..hmm, wonder why? LMAO My hit to review rate is clearly on the deludeds side...then again I knew nothing would change...but I live in constant hope! LOL
Cheers and thanks for a great review. Stay true and stand your ground, fear not the arrogant as that trait often couples itself up with ignorance...you simply cannot contend with that at times but I think people should stand up for what they believe in. When the arrogant start recording themselves on paper so to speak...you can soon see who's who...believe me...some people have NO idea how bad their comments look once written.
Closet
Comment from percival86jack
"the sooner our rankings will
truly reflect the talent in the writing"
Oh so very true my dear friend... I'm with you all the way on this one! An excellent write... hugs, Jack xxxxxxxx
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2012
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"the sooner our rankings will
truly reflect the talent in the writing"
Oh so very true my dear friend... I'm with you all the way on this one! An excellent write... hugs, Jack xxxxxxxx
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2012
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Thanks for quoting the best part of my poem Jack! LOL
My authors notes...LOL Glad you fully agree though. To be honest I am sick of all the bs in ranking status...can you tell?
CloPo xo
