A Man and A Woman
A page from a romance story40 total reviews
Comment from animatqua
This is much easier to read. I usually use some spacer between point of view switches, but this does work just the way that it is.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2011
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This is much easier to read. I usually use some spacer between point of view switches, but this does work just the way that it is.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2011
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Thank you. Will check to see what I can do.
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Ok. When you have time, can you check it out and see if the form is more readable. Thanks.
Comment from Connie C
This is simply beautiful. The description of the wedding as Bolan recalls it and the description of the thoughts that each has for the other upon awakening is very romantic and such a pleasure to read. Connie
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2011
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This is simply beautiful. The description of the wedding as Bolan recalls it and the description of the thoughts that each has for the other upon awakening is very romantic and such a pleasure to read. Connie
Comment Written 06-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2011
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Thank you so much connie. I'm glad you liked it.
Comment from stanishmichelle
I liked reading this, particularly the contrasts between the couple, they view each others body. I was very amused when Stephanie looked at her husband. He seems to be a much older man who picked up a trophy wife. The story was light and entertaining to read.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2011
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I liked reading this, particularly the contrasts between the couple, they view each others body. I was very amused when Stephanie looked at her husband. He seems to be a much older man who picked up a trophy wife. The story was light and entertaining to read.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2011
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Thank you stanishmichelle. I do appreciate your review my friend.
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You are welcome. Michelle
Comment from Paradox Tremors
Wow, wow, wow. A great and intriguing write my friend. You really pulled me in and left me wanting more. A great little peep into the beginning of a marriage. Enjoyed it. Kept up the good work my friend.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2011
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Wow, wow, wow. A great and intriguing write my friend. You really pulled me in and left me wanting more. A great little peep into the beginning of a marriage. Enjoyed it. Kept up the good work my friend.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2011
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Thank you Paradox. I appreciate the rating. I've written so much sad stuff that I decided to chill with this one. I'm so glad you liked it. Blessings as always my friend.
Comment from missy98writer
amahra,
your character Stephanie reads like she a younger woman married to a disgusting older man who's rich. She'll evenaually will get board with having missionary sex despite the size of his sex and have an affair with a good-looking stud with a big sports car and tiny dick. Your descriptive scheme is excellent with great narrative. Your expret read like a romance my Mom reads. I enjoyed your love scene.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2011
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amahra,
your character Stephanie reads like she a younger woman married to a disgusting older man who's rich. She'll evenaually will get board with having missionary sex despite the size of his sex and have an affair with a good-looking stud with a big sports car and tiny dick. Your descriptive scheme is excellent with great narrative. Your expret read like a romance my Mom reads. I enjoyed your love scene.
Melissa.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2011
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lol Oh Melissa, you're such a bad girl. lol lol Thank you Melissa; I wasn't sure if this type of writing would be excepted; I've done so much sad stuff. Thank you so much for liking it. I really appreciate it more than you know. Blessings to you my dear friend. lol
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Melissa, I meant to say accepted. I can spell sometimes. lol
Comment from moyramouse
The only image I could not get to grips with was the ducks 'scurrying gracefully ...'scurrying is moving hastily and jerkily so I could not see how the words meshed. You write very descriptively,with quite long sentences, but leave the reader no spaces in between to imagine and thus, I remain disconnected from the couple on the bed. Sometimes less is more and it is better to suggest rather than tell us every detail. Because you were not allowed to use dialogue, it is a much more difficult task. I'm sorry to be a disappointment, you know how much I have enjoyed so many of your pieces. x moyramouse
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reply by the author on 06-Mar-2011
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The only image I could not get to grips with was the ducks 'scurrying gracefully ...'scurrying is moving hastily and jerkily so I could not see how the words meshed. You write very descriptively,with quite long sentences, but leave the reader no spaces in between to imagine and thus, I remain disconnected from the couple on the bed. Sometimes less is more and it is better to suggest rather than tell us every detail. Because you were not allowed to use dialogue, it is a much more difficult task. I'm sorry to be a disappointment, you know how much I have enjoyed so many of your pieces. x moyramouse
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2011
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Thanks moyramouse. Blessings.
Comment from Haggard
The ending was a humble, likeable conclusion. All of the description is at a 100%. It gave me more imagery thatn I could ask for. I love the way you string words together so professionally. It gives me a sense that what I'm reading was adeptly written, therefore, I idolize your work!
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2011
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The ending was a humble, likeable conclusion. All of the description is at a 100%. It gave me more imagery thatn I could ask for. I love the way you string words together so professionally. It gives me a sense that what I'm reading was adeptly written, therefore, I idolize your work!
Comment Written 06-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2011
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Oh wow. Thank you so much Haggard, I'm honored. Blessings.
Comment from nora arjuna
hi i enjoyed this wonderful post. you brought about the sensuality well. the descriptions for the husband was a surprise though. not a problem, just not prepared for it lol.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2011
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hi i enjoyed this wonderful post. you brought about the sensuality well. the descriptions for the husband was a surprise though. not a problem, just not prepared for it lol.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2011
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Thank you arjuna. I do appreciate it.
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Some great descriptions in this Short story. I particularly like the 'mud slide dumping into blue water', very creative writing. Just one thing I wondered if the ball spot - should be - bald spot. A good read.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2011
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Some great descriptions in this Short story. I particularly like the 'mud slide dumping into blue water', very creative writing. Just one thing I wondered if the ball spot - should be - bald spot. A good read.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2011
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Oh wow, that's Pearl, I missed that. Thank you. Now, you see why I need you guys. lol
Comment from Gungalo
Okay you, what a write this is. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Definitely different and something to ponder over. Not even gonna ask ya. LOL.
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reply by the author on 06-Mar-2011
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Okay you, what a write this is. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Definitely different and something to ponder over. Not even gonna ask ya. LOL.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2011
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lol I thought I'd give you guys a break from all the sad stuff. Did I?
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Yeah you did. I'm still trying to figure out your title though. LOL. Undefiled?
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It's Biblical.
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LOL I know that but there's nothing in your write about it. Undefiled means not made dirty.
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sex is not dirty if you're married, that's what it means. Ok, you want me to change the titile back to Honeymooners. Something tells me you're going to be a problem. lol lol
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LOL not problems from me just asking why? LOL. Though I do like honeymooners. Hehehe.
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Hey you, sex is not dirty ever. LOL.
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Alright, I changed it. HAPPY?
