Little Billy
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Twisted Faces in hiding places."memiors from my life experiences.
53 total reviews
Comment from Kingsland
This poem has some excellent flowing rhythm in its thoughts and phrases. Your message was written in a very good poetic vogue as well. I liked everything about this piece of poetic art. It was just a delight to have read and written a review for... John
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2010
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This poem has some excellent flowing rhythm in its thoughts and phrases. Your message was written in a very good poetic vogue as well. I liked everything about this piece of poetic art. It was just a delight to have read and written a review for... John
Comment Written 05-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2010
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thank you. and I always enjoy review your poems as well thank you.
Comment from RYME4U
Excellent poem. Very mysterious. It sounds as if some kind of crime was committed that clues were washed away from. Only the poet know the hidden answer. H-mmm Very mysterious indeed.Good work
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2010
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Excellent poem. Very mysterious. It sounds as if some kind of crime was committed that clues were washed away from. Only the poet know the hidden answer. H-mmm Very mysterious indeed.Good work
Comment Written 05-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2010
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thank you.
Comment from laren
This is a very well written poem which makes us think.
Provoking situations which move us to reflection.
I really enjoyed reading it!
Congratulations!
Laren
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2010
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This is a very well written poem which makes us think.
Provoking situations which move us to reflection.
I really enjoyed reading it!
Congratulations!
Laren
Comment Written 05-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2010
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thank you Im glad you liked it i cant wait to write another.
Comment from rama devi
Warm weclome to FS. you obviously have a keen sense of the music of words as evidenced in your excellent melodic and rhythmic flow and use of well timed internal rhymes. Villanelles are very complex forms and as far as I can tell you've written a good one. This sounds AWESOME read aloud.
i did not notice any spags.
The artwork enhances the tone and tenor of your strange theme.
Swift pace and intensity suits the theme.
Is this based on your work in the psychiatric hospital?
Impressive.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2010
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Warm weclome to FS. you obviously have a keen sense of the music of words as evidenced in your excellent melodic and rhythmic flow and use of well timed internal rhymes. Villanelles are very complex forms and as far as I can tell you've written a good one. This sounds AWESOME read aloud.
i did not notice any spags.
The artwork enhances the tone and tenor of your strange theme.
Swift pace and intensity suits the theme.
Is this based on your work in the psychiatric hospital?
Impressive.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 05-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2010
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Your the first peson to notice how good it sounds read aloud. Ive heard it and it does. sort of. maybe I dont work there. just kidding or not.
Comment from RKagan
This is scary and in a good way! It reads really well aloud and the rhyme works in the context of the poem. I think it is about a killer hidding his identity, am I right?
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2010
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This is scary and in a good way! It reads really well aloud and the rhyme works in the context of the poem. I think it is about a killer hidding his identity, am I right?
Comment Written 05-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2010
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Its about whatever you think it is. its part of the mystery. I'll never tell. Thanks for the view. and your second review in a row that said it sounds good read alloud. did you rad it to someone.
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Whenever I read poetry I read it aloud to see how the words sound. I don't know much about poetry but if the words flow and have a "delicious" taste...then I think it is good.
Comment from fionageorge
The question is 'real or imagined?', the answer is not clear, my friend. Well structured poem, with great rhythm and unusual, but effective, rhyme scheme.
I enjoyed the deep and thought provoking scenarios you presented.
Warmest regards, Marijke
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2010
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The question is 'real or imagined?', the answer is not clear, my friend. Well structured poem, with great rhythm and unusual, but effective, rhyme scheme.
I enjoyed the deep and thought provoking scenarios you presented.
Warmest regards, Marijke
Comment Written 05-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2010
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thanks for the read. Im glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from Justa Begina
Hi Keimo, this is a poem with hidden depths. There is a big emphasis on wether or not what is portrayed is real or a dream and that reality in the world of a sane man is more aceptable than the imagination of another. There seems to be an underlying evil, a sin committed and the culprit not found out but finding it hard to live with the guilt. I think you have captured an air if uncertainty very well and this encourages the reader to want more. I have enjoyed reading your work.It has no final conclusion.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2010
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Hi Keimo, this is a poem with hidden depths. There is a big emphasis on wether or not what is portrayed is real or a dream and that reality in the world of a sane man is more aceptable than the imagination of another. There seems to be an underlying evil, a sin committed and the culprit not found out but finding it hard to live with the guilt. I think you have captured an air if uncertainty very well and this encourages the reader to want more. I have enjoyed reading your work.It has no final conclusion.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2010
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That was my goal. To be left with the question. what are we dealing with here. Thanks for the review.
Comment from irsajay
Scary; looks more real and emphatic than imaginary. When I read your poem with fused artwork, I stopped to consider--"What if it is real?" And, then realized the unique and sole are more real than fantasy and it made me to shiver.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2010
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Scary; looks more real and emphatic than imaginary. When I read your poem with fused artwork, I stopped to consider--"What if it is real?" And, then realized the unique and sole are more real than fantasy and it made me to shiver.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2010
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Yes it made me shiver too. Thanks for the review.
Comment from Siddhartha Jatana
I liked the piece...
Powerful imagery...
ma favorite bits:
"Reality's paces tie imagination's laces.
Mother's tears surround as they fall down.
Twisted faces in hiding places
....
Now I'm not in God's good graces.
Fear overwhelms my heart all 'round.
Twisted faces in hiding places.
....
Rain poured down and washed away all traces"
Good one!
Well done!
Keep it up!
God bless u!
Love and Regards,
Sid
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2010
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I liked the piece...
Powerful imagery...
ma favorite bits:
"Reality's paces tie imagination's laces.
Mother's tears surround as they fall down.
Twisted faces in hiding places
....
Now I'm not in God's good graces.
Fear overwhelms my heart all 'round.
Twisted faces in hiding places.
....
Rain poured down and washed away all traces"
Good one!
Well done!
Keep it up!
God bless u!
Love and Regards,
Sid
Comment Written 05-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2010
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Thank you for the kind review. I like your work too sid.
Comment from jmdg1954
I am not one to read and understand deep meaningful poetry, but here goes... something dreadful happened in ones childhood that stays with them there entire life. The rains wash away traces of evidence/feelings but never fully? My simple way of explaining my understanding. Am I close? I thought it was written well, the rhyme was not forced and it read smoothly to me.
Very well done,
John
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2010
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I am not one to read and understand deep meaningful poetry, but here goes... something dreadful happened in ones childhood that stays with them there entire life. The rains wash away traces of evidence/feelings but never fully? My simple way of explaining my understanding. Am I close? I thought it was written well, the rhyme was not forced and it read smoothly to me.
Very well done,
John
Comment Written 05-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2010
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your right on very good. thanks for the stars.
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You're up early like me... Maybe I should read more poetry????
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ive been up all night working