Tantalizing Eyes
Viewing comments for Chapter 40 "Chapter 11; part 2"Dishonesty VS Love. Which will win?
61 total reviews
Comment from dragonqueen1983
'I need documentation that I'm no longer a virgin' lol i didn't even know that such a thing was possible. you have a well written chapter here
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2010
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'I need documentation that I'm no longer a virgin' lol i didn't even know that such a thing was possible. you have a well written chapter here
Comment Written 28-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Freeflyer
Leya, Leya, Leya, I know that letting your father know you have consummated your marriage is important but this haste....seems calculated.
Great writing.
Maz.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2010
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Leya, Leya, Leya, I know that letting your father know you have consummated your marriage is important but this haste....seems calculated.
Great writing.
Maz.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2010
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Leya gets herself into some major trouble here. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Begin Again
Barbara,
Wonderful as usual...Very tastefully done and enjoyable to read. I hope there isn't more trouble sitting on the horizon. Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2010
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Barbara,
Wonderful as usual...Very tastefully done and enjoyable to read. I hope there isn't more trouble sitting on the horizon. Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 28-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2010
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There is more trouble on the horizon for Leya. I appreciate your support and review.
Comment from fionageorge
Another great chapter, well written and an interesting read. Your use of dialogue is excellent and apart from moving the story along at a good pace, further brings out the personalities and characters. The bed conversation between Leya and Steve, and your little descriptions of their love for each other.
Warmest regards, Marijke
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2010
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Another great chapter, well written and an interesting read. Your use of dialogue is excellent and apart from moving the story along at a good pace, further brings out the personalities and characters. The bed conversation between Leya and Steve, and your little descriptions of their love for each other.
Warmest regards, Marijke
Comment Written 28-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Readywriter52
Leya and Steven have consummated their marriage. They both sound happy about the situation. When she wanted the doctor to verify she wasn't a virgin, I imagine she wants her father to know that. He won't force her to marry another man. She's damaged goods now.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2010
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Leya and Steven have consummated their marriage. They both sound happy about the situation. When she wanted the doctor to verify she wasn't a virgin, I imagine she wants her father to know that. He won't force her to marry another man. She's damaged goods now.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2010
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We shall see. Leya gets herself into trouble. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Roberta Joan Jensen
Things feel like they're starting to heat up. I wonder why Leya needs to prove she lost her virginity?
Only one usggestion.
My parents were killed in a car accident when I was 15. - fifteen. Fiction usually uses words, not numbers.
Roberta
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2010
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Things feel like they're starting to heat up. I wonder why Leya needs to prove she lost her virginity?
Only one usggestion.
My parents were killed in a car accident when I was 15. - fifteen. Fiction usually uses words, not numbers.
Roberta
Comment Written 28-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2010
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Thank you for your review. {I knew that about the fifteen and just spaced out. I will get right on it.
Comment from E.P. Thomas
Barbara,
The dialogue moved the scene along nicely, but I never cd visualize the setting of the scene. Good sensory description is as important as dialogue and plot in moving forward the action of the story. Without effective description, it's difficult to keep a story interesting.
Thanks for sharing this. I'll look forward to reading others.
ep
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2010
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Barbara,
The dialogue moved the scene along nicely, but I never cd visualize the setting of the scene. Good sensory description is as important as dialogue and plot in moving forward the action of the story. Without effective description, it's difficult to keep a story interesting.
Thanks for sharing this. I'll look forward to reading others.
ep
Comment Written 28-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2010
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Thank you for your review. I will take your advice under consideration.
Comment from Isaiah Ramesses
Very romantic and sexy chapter. As I said once before, this is a very intriguing tale. It's going on the best seller list one day.
Very good.
Isaiah Ramesses
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2010
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Very romantic and sexy chapter. As I said once before, this is a very intriguing tale. It's going on the best seller list one day.
Very good.
Isaiah Ramesses
Comment Written 27-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2010
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Thank you for your kind words and continued support.
Comment from Belinda
Hi, this is a relatively 'tame' chapter than the last one. I like it because it reveals much about Leya and Steven's background. I look forward to the next interesting chapter, Barbara.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2010
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Hi, this is a relatively 'tame' chapter than the last one. I like it because it reveals much about Leya and Steven's background. I look forward to the next interesting chapter, Barbara.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2010
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I normally only write one love making scene in a novel and that was it, so you won't have to worry about anymore. I don't see any reason to put another in it.
Comment from Dave M
Barbara,
This is an excellent chapter. I really like the way you got Steven and Leya to tell each other (and us) their backgrounds. Again, I suspect that it's going to be the Witness Protection Program for them.
I enjoyed this read and found one nit, not in your main text.
In your subtitle description: "Leya discusses her some of her fears." The first "her" should come out.
Dave
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2010
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Barbara,
This is an excellent chapter. I really like the way you got Steven and Leya to tell each other (and us) their backgrounds. Again, I suspect that it's going to be the Witness Protection Program for them.
I enjoyed this read and found one nit, not in your main text.
In your subtitle description: "Leya discusses her some of her fears." The first "her" should come out.
Dave
Comment Written 27-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2010
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Thank you for pointing that out. I appreciate your support. You are a great author and any help you can give me I feel honored.
