Chasing the Elusive Dream
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Battling the Baby Blues"A southern couple's journey in the 60's,70's & 80'
46 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I understand the feeling. Although I didn't have twins, I had 4 boys in 71/2 years. They were literally stairsteps and being so close to the same age, my husband declared they were tag team matches. One team was always into something, then the next team. I do want to caution you on your over use of the words had and that. I copied a few examples, but there are many more.
When I was in my mid-twenties another lifetime ago, I found myself imprisoned in my own home by virtue of the fact (that) I had given birth to twins when I already had a child less than two.
Notwithstanding, in no time at all, both of my talented offspring (had become) adept at removing the offensive scrap of cloth. Just substitute became
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2009
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I understand the feeling. Although I didn't have twins, I had 4 boys in 71/2 years. They were literally stairsteps and being so close to the same age, my husband declared they were tag team matches. One team was always into something, then the next team. I do want to caution you on your over use of the words had and that. I copied a few examples, but there are many more.
When I was in my mid-twenties another lifetime ago, I found myself imprisoned in my own home by virtue of the fact (that) I had given birth to twins when I already had a child less than two.
Notwithstanding, in no time at all, both of my talented offspring (had become) adept at removing the offensive scrap of cloth. Just substitute became
Comment Written 15-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2009
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Thanks so much for your review and rating and for the suggestions. At one point, I didn't have all those thats in there but several people told me I needed them. Not on this story but on another one I wrote. Sometimes I'm told I need a comma unless I use that and sometimes I'm told I don't. I need to go back and review my grammer.
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An editor told me she wished 'that' would be taken from the English Language because it's way over used. I think that may be an exaggeration. I try to follow reviewers advice I think their work is very good, or I know they are educated in English grammar. I've had completely opposite advice on FS. There are a few people I hold very dear and follow their advice, others I blow it off. You need to decide for yourself.
Comment from LexieMannix
Ah....a woman after my own heart. I'm raising twin boys (no toddler attached like a triple extention, thank goodness) and it's a challenge alright. They're twelve now. I can relate to every ounce of what you say and wished some days, when they were little, I could go to 'work' because I knew how much less pressure it is physically and emotionally. I think of us all as super mums; deservedly :)
Lovely write and highly entertaining (tongue-in-cheek) for me.
Lexie
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2009
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Ah....a woman after my own heart. I'm raising twin boys (no toddler attached like a triple extention, thank goodness) and it's a challenge alright. They're twelve now. I can relate to every ounce of what you say and wished some days, when they were little, I could go to 'work' because I knew how much less pressure it is physically and emotionally. I think of us all as super mums; deservedly :)
Lovely write and highly entertaining (tongue-in-cheek) for me.
Lexie
Comment Written 15-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2009
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Thank you Lexie, I do appreciate you reading and commenting. It isn't easy but hang in there. They are about to be teen-agers and that when the fun really begins.
Beth
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I'm hanging onto the walls in readiness. Thanks, Beth :)
Comment from Joan E.
I enjoyed your philosophical and humorous storytelling very much. I liked all the amusing diaper tales and the baby bottle battles and can see see your boy "standing on the face of his sister". (I think it should be "druggists" in the third paragraph from the end.) I only had one child, a son who is still a bachelor at 32, but I agree that it is healthier for everyone for a mom to work outside the home at a certain point in time, if that is what gives her fulfillment.
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2009
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I enjoyed your philosophical and humorous storytelling very much. I liked all the amusing diaper tales and the baby bottle battles and can see see your boy "standing on the face of his sister". (I think it should be "druggists" in the third paragraph from the end.) I only had one child, a son who is still a bachelor at 32, but I agree that it is healthier for everyone for a mom to work outside the home at a certain point in time, if that is what gives her fulfillment.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2009
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Joan, Thank you so much for reading and review and for catching the word, I need to change. I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
Beth
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My pleasure to be helpful, especially when I enjoyed the work.
Comment from lkatka
Do your children read your writing? I hope they do because the memories you are sharing through your stories are priceless! You are a wonderful writer and you write some of the funniest and most vivid stories!
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2009
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Do your children read your writing? I hope they do because the memories you are sharing through your stories are priceless! You are a wonderful writer and you write some of the funniest and most vivid stories!
Comment Written 14-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2009
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Thank you so much. I try to get my children to read them. Maybe they will appreciate them more as time goes on. They are the stars.
Beth
Comment from DecrepitOldBag
Beth, this roundly deserves a six, and I haven't got one! You write so very well. The chaos is so vividly described. I cannot begin to imagine having twins, and certainly not with a toddler also alongside. I am now firmly convinced you're some kind of saint. The flour and molasses kind of rang a bell to me....not the substances, but the liberal way in which they were distributed on the lounge settee! I've had all manner of artistic designs put on my furniture and walls with an equal number of substances.....but never molasses. Golden syrup is a bugger to get out of the bathtub though. It simply can't go down the plug hole as it's too thick and viscous. The plumber was NOT pleased :(
Once again, brilliant writing on your part and great (free) entertainment for me.
I remain your devoted fan, with warmest wishes,
Kat
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2009
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Beth, this roundly deserves a six, and I haven't got one! You write so very well. The chaos is so vividly described. I cannot begin to imagine having twins, and certainly not with a toddler also alongside. I am now firmly convinced you're some kind of saint. The flour and molasses kind of rang a bell to me....not the substances, but the liberal way in which they were distributed on the lounge settee! I've had all manner of artistic designs put on my furniture and walls with an equal number of substances.....but never molasses. Golden syrup is a bugger to get out of the bathtub though. It simply can't go down the plug hole as it's too thick and viscous. The plumber was NOT pleased :(
Once again, brilliant writing on your part and great (free) entertainment for me.
I remain your devoted fan, with warmest wishes,
Kat
Comment Written 14-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2009
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Kat, your reviews are such fun to read. I'll bet you are a riot to be around. I figured you might be able to relate to this one with all your kids. I'm glad those "fun" days are over. Thanks for everythig.
Beth
Comment from tammipratt
I imagine the whole thing of day care etc would have been hard for this generation, but today it is rampant! I've sort of missed out on most of it because my husband was a fulltime house husband with our three children while I worked, and now they are all in school, we are both working full time. Your story was great - thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2009
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I imagine the whole thing of day care etc would have been hard for this generation, but today it is rampant! I've sort of missed out on most of it because my husband was a fulltime house husband with our three children while I worked, and now they are all in school, we are both working full time. Your story was great - thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2009
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Thank you for reading and reviewing and posting your comments.
Beth
Comment from MaureenC
What an hiliarious piece and well described in depth. I can relate to most of what you experienced. Aat 21 I had four little ones under the age of five. I laughed when I read a few of the things described and I know they WEREN'T funny when they happened.
Extremely well written
Mauseyc
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2009
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What an hiliarious piece and well described in depth. I can relate to most of what you experienced. Aat 21 I had four little ones under the age of five. I laughed when I read a few of the things described and I know they WEREN'T funny when they happened.
Extremely well written
Mauseyc
Comment Written 14-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2009
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You are so right. They weren't funny at all when they happened. At least, I can laugh about them now. I glad you found them funny and I'm sure with four little ones you can relate. My fourth one came along ten years later.
Thanks so much for the review.
Beth
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My pleasure Beth. I like your work. I think I have reviewed three or four pieces.
Regards
Maureen
Comment from microlifemike
Beth, There were some really funny parts in this story! I can only imagine Don stepping on his sister's head to make the break! I laugh aloud! There are a few improvements that could be made. Would be happy to critique the whole thing if you'd like. I enjoy you here. Thank you. Michael
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2009
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Beth, There were some really funny parts in this story! I can only imagine Don stepping on his sister's head to make the break! I laugh aloud! There are a few improvements that could be made. Would be happy to critique the whole thing if you'd like. I enjoy you here. Thank you. Michael
Comment Written 14-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2009
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Thanks Mike, I would be interested in knowing what corrections you would suggest.
Beth
Comment from Helen Tan
I really enjoyed this piece. It made me laugh and I can identify with some of your feelings. I'm sure you're glad you still have such memories.
Thanks for this read and I'm going to give you an extra star for living the experience to tell us your tales.
I owned dozens of these white flags and believe me, many days, I felt like flying one.
I love the humour in this line. If it's any comfort to you, we still use these for newborns as our weather in Singapore is humid and hot so babies tend to get rashes in the disposable diapers.Maybe the new mums are like you flying the white flag, loads of them-HELP!
(This was the pre-velcro days.)
(Now, unfortunately, she tells me she needs therapy because of being thrust into such a demanding roll at the tender age of twenty-two months.)
I think it best to remove the parentheses and leave these in as proper sentences.
Actually, it isn't much harder to feed two than one because while one is swallowing, spitting, or doing whatever else they might elect to do, you merely spoon a mouthful into the other baby.
This had me laughing. For my first boy he was so impatient I had to feed him with 2 spoons, one after the other, he just could not wait.That was just one kid!
The boy twin was first to discover that by standing on the face of his sister
Oh boy!
On one occasion, they teamed up to climb onto the aquarium stand and overbalance it pinning themselves to the floor and sending ten gallons of water, broken glass, and many jumping fishes cascading over them.
This must have been a frightening experience for fish, kids and you. Hmm did the fish survive? Hahaha, it's good for a laugh now.
My family seemed to appreciate my attention more when I was with them less and I certainly enjoyed my time with them better
Sanity NOW, as long as you are comfortable with your choice that's fine. Live life with no regrets.
To those of my offspring who think perhaps they suffered from lack of full time mothering, I can only say, don't judge me till you've walked a mile in my moccasins.
I see you still had time to put on moccasins, I walked around bare feet chasing the kids when they were young!
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2009
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I really enjoyed this piece. It made me laugh and I can identify with some of your feelings. I'm sure you're glad you still have such memories.
Thanks for this read and I'm going to give you an extra star for living the experience to tell us your tales.
I owned dozens of these white flags and believe me, many days, I felt like flying one.
I love the humour in this line. If it's any comfort to you, we still use these for newborns as our weather in Singapore is humid and hot so babies tend to get rashes in the disposable diapers.Maybe the new mums are like you flying the white flag, loads of them-HELP!
(This was the pre-velcro days.)
(Now, unfortunately, she tells me she needs therapy because of being thrust into such a demanding roll at the tender age of twenty-two months.)
I think it best to remove the parentheses and leave these in as proper sentences.
Actually, it isn't much harder to feed two than one because while one is swallowing, spitting, or doing whatever else they might elect to do, you merely spoon a mouthful into the other baby.
This had me laughing. For my first boy he was so impatient I had to feed him with 2 spoons, one after the other, he just could not wait.That was just one kid!
The boy twin was first to discover that by standing on the face of his sister
Oh boy!
On one occasion, they teamed up to climb onto the aquarium stand and overbalance it pinning themselves to the floor and sending ten gallons of water, broken glass, and many jumping fishes cascading over them.
This must have been a frightening experience for fish, kids and you. Hmm did the fish survive? Hahaha, it's good for a laugh now.
My family seemed to appreciate my attention more when I was with them less and I certainly enjoyed my time with them better
Sanity NOW, as long as you are comfortable with your choice that's fine. Live life with no regrets.
To those of my offspring who think perhaps they suffered from lack of full time mothering, I can only say, don't judge me till you've walked a mile in my moccasins.
I see you still had time to put on moccasins, I walked around bare feet chasing the kids when they were young!
Comment Written 14-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2009
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Helen, Thank you so much for that extra star. I'm so glad you enjoyed this an gave me such a wonderful rating. Yes, I happy for the memories and glad they are memories. I'm not sure I could sure survive all that again.
Beth
Comment from Jazh
Oh boy, what a story! I was once briefly pregnant with quads...your story has boggled my mind! You have told it with great humour - I love some of the images: bottles as clubs, one twin standing on the other's face! Just one suggestion: with far less leftovers. - with far fewer leftovers. I totally agree with your decision to broaden your horizons and theirs. :)
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2009
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Oh boy, what a story! I was once briefly pregnant with quads...your story has boggled my mind! You have told it with great humour - I love some of the images: bottles as clubs, one twin standing on the other's face! Just one suggestion: with far less leftovers. - with far fewer leftovers. I totally agree with your decision to broaden your horizons and theirs. :)
Comment Written 13-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2009
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Thank you so much for your reveiw. I really liked your comments. I so gald you like it.
Beth
