CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 98 "The Southern Way"A collection of poetry
32 total reviews
Comment from Domino
Hi, Sue
I rarely attempt ABAB rhyme - too difficult, but you've pulled it off well (as the bishop said ta the hooker, LOL)
''n work needed on the barn' maybe delete ['n] as it's the only last line wiv seven syllables and I think it still reatains meaning if maybe a semi-colon is added at the end of the preceeding line.
Great memories of the pull of your youth and roots.
Loadsa vivid images created of the goins on when you're there. Excellent writing with nice meter and subsequent flow. Best wishes, Ray xx
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reply by the author on 14-Jan-2009
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Hi, Sue
I rarely attempt ABAB rhyme - too difficult, but you've pulled it off well (as the bishop said ta the hooker, LOL)
''n work needed on the barn' maybe delete ['n] as it's the only last line wiv seven syllables and I think it still reatains meaning if maybe a semi-colon is added at the end of the preceeding line.
Great memories of the pull of your youth and roots.
Loadsa vivid images created of the goins on when you're there. Excellent writing with nice meter and subsequent flow. Best wishes, Ray xx
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2009
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YOU rarely attempt an ABAB? My friend, you're a master at rhyme and meter. Fuhgeddaboutit!! You're right about the 'n. Out she goes! I'm so glad you said there were loads of vivid images. Because I was afraid I didn't write enough stanzas, yet didn't want it to be a bloody novel! HA!! I wanted it to be short enough for reader to enjoy, yet get a good glimpse. Thanks for that, Ray! (has anyone EVER told you that you can be a tad naughty?) LOL!!! Sue
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I don't like em too long (as another hooker said to another bishop).
OK, that's enough naughtiness fa a while, Sue. Ray xx
Comment from joan marie
Sounds like a northerner with her foots calling her home. I like the way you used the terminology of the area within this piece. Great write. joan marie
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Sounds like a northerner with her foots calling her home. I like the way you used the terminology of the area within this piece. Great write. joan marie
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Comment Written 14-Jan-2009