CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 143 "Bilingual"A collection of poetry
40 total reviews
Comment from wierdgrace
Poetry is always a great way to relax and regroup just to read it, I spend sometimes hours reading poems and poetry, learning and loving the emotional story in each one, this is a great example. thank you.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2008
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Poetry is always a great way to relax and regroup just to read it, I spend sometimes hours reading poems and poetry, learning and loving the emotional story in each one, this is a great example. thank you.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2008
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Grace, I thank you for your very generous review. I am very glad you enjoyed this piece. (and for your kind words). With regards, Sue
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welcome always
Comment from jlsavell
Sixteezkid, as you should love it, for you are very very good. I sometimes think it is just a matter of always growing emotionally that is, we discover dormant talents we never realized we had..you are the best..jlsavell
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2008
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Sixteezkid, as you should love it, for you are very very good. I sometimes think it is just a matter of always growing emotionally that is, we discover dormant talents we never realized we had..you are the best..jlsavell
Comment Written 27-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2008
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savell, thank you for such a great compliment! Thankfully, even at my age, I don't want to stop growing and am so happy that poetry is a part of that. Your words only encourage me more! With kindest regards, Sue
Comment from Brandenpaul
So many talk but don't say a thing. Others speak volumes without uttering a word. Emotions need a voice sometimes and only special people can make them speak. Great artwork to go along with a even better poem. I enjoyed.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2008
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So many talk but don't say a thing. Others speak volumes without uttering a word. Emotions need a voice sometimes and only special people can make them speak. Great artwork to go along with a even better poem. I enjoyed.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2008
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I really appreciate your reading this poem and am glad you enjoyed it. Best to you, Sue
Comment from debskatz
Hi Sixteezkid,
Well, you're on a roll! Really like this one. I'm still working on finding words to describe emotions. It can be very difficult at times!
Thanks for sharing this with us!
smiles,
deb
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2008
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Hi Sixteezkid,
Well, you're on a roll! Really like this one. I'm still working on finding words to describe emotions. It can be very difficult at times!
Thanks for sharing this with us!
smiles,
deb
Comment Written 27-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2008
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Deb, thank you for reading this piece. It's meaning is real, as I am most thankful that I have been able to find that voice. Thank you for your very kind words. With regards, Sue
Comment from honeytree
Beautiful words here and the art work is superb. When we first talk is wonderful,from then on we don't stop talking. When a baby talks is just so special. When we grow we learn heaps of words and we and we listen to what is being said.
I really love the following words.
"Mom told me my first word was Dad
New ones I learned every week
Now, I'm heard by everyone!
Only nouns and verbs could I speak
In school I was quite the speller
Syllables were words in their parts
Prefixes, suffixes were my friends
Greek and Latin roots, at their hearts
Essays and creative writing!
At college I went to find more
I stumbled upon a new forum
Public speaking with words galore"
Wonderful words written.
Honeytree.
"
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2008
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Beautiful words here and the art work is superb. When we first talk is wonderful,from then on we don't stop talking. When a baby talks is just so special. When we grow we learn heaps of words and we and we listen to what is being said.
I really love the following words.
"Mom told me my first word was Dad
New ones I learned every week
Now, I'm heard by everyone!
Only nouns and verbs could I speak
In school I was quite the speller
Syllables were words in their parts
Prefixes, suffixes were my friends
Greek and Latin roots, at their hearts
Essays and creative writing!
At college I went to find more
I stumbled upon a new forum
Public speaking with words galore"
Wonderful words written.
Honeytree.
"
Comment Written 27-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2008
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Honeytree, thank you very much for your compliments. Very encouraging, indeed. Am so glad you enjoyed this poem. Warmest regards, Sue
Comment from Joan E.
I have had the identical experience as you described in your notes. It's quite a delightful discovery when one is in one's sixties and finds a new passion!
I especially liked your title and the personification of emotions in the last stanza.
I think the 3rd stanza could use a bit of variation with the "...I went to find" "and went on to find". Revision: much stronger after shift to "stumbled".
The picture use chose struck just the right heart-chord.
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2008
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I have had the identical experience as you described in your notes. It's quite a delightful discovery when one is in one's sixties and finds a new passion!
I especially liked your title and the personification of emotions in the last stanza.
I think the 3rd stanza could use a bit of variation with the "...I went to find" "and went on to find". Revision: much stronger after shift to "stumbled".
The picture use chose struck just the right heart-chord.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2008
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Joan, like a sports analogy, I can say to you "NICE SAVE"!!! HA!!! Great suggestion. I just changed it. Really want you to know how much I appreciate your taking the time to do that. And thank you so much for your very generous review! My warmest regards, Sue
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Glad I could be helpful.
Comment from Domino
Hi, Sue.
Lovely story of your journey to and finding the expression of poetry. Some fun and clever lines here, though I find the flow very jumpy. This matters not a jot to many, and I guess I'm a syllable and meter nut. Hope you don't mind if I play with just one stanza for example;
In-SCHOOL-I-WAS-the-SPELL-er,-SURE
Words,-SYLL-a-BLES-their-PARTS
The-PRE-fix,-SU-ffix-WERE-my-FRIENDS
With-GREEK-and-LA-tin-HEARTS
That evens out the lines to 8686 syllables with the caps being the emphasised syllables. Meter (you may not be interested) consists of 'metric feet', and each foot consists of two syllables. So, always write lines in even numbers of 6,8 or 10.
The SECOND and alternate syllables are emphasised as per my example, which gives an easier flow and read. Tell me if you're not interested and I won't bore you with the subject again. Most writers don't bother with it as it's extra work, or they say it inhibits their expression (which it can do, but can be ignored occasionally). Ray xx
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2008
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Hi, Sue.
Lovely story of your journey to and finding the expression of poetry. Some fun and clever lines here, though I find the flow very jumpy. This matters not a jot to many, and I guess I'm a syllable and meter nut. Hope you don't mind if I play with just one stanza for example;
In-SCHOOL-I-WAS-the-SPELL-er,-SURE
Words,-SYLL-a-BLES-their-PARTS
The-PRE-fix,-SU-ffix-WERE-my-FRIENDS
With-GREEK-and-LA-tin-HEARTS
That evens out the lines to 8686 syllables with the caps being the emphasised syllables. Meter (you may not be interested) consists of 'metric feet', and each foot consists of two syllables. So, always write lines in even numbers of 6,8 or 10.
The SECOND and alternate syllables are emphasised as per my example, which gives an easier flow and read. Tell me if you're not interested and I won't bore you with the subject again. Most writers don't bother with it as it's extra work, or they say it inhibits their expression (which it can do, but can be ignored occasionally). Ray xx
Comment Written 27-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2008
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Hi Ray! Great critique! I also had a problem with that stanza. Too many "plurals" and it is jumpy. Thanks very much for pointing that out. After I eat all my turkey, I'll re-visit it. HA! Have a look at it tomorrow and see what you think. Thanks for all your kind remarks and help! Much appreciated, Sue
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Hi, Sue.
It isn't just that stanza, it's all of em, LOL.
I just picked that one as an example to demonstrate how an even syllable count and alternate syllable sress (da-DUM, da-DUM, da-DUM) can improve the flow of any poetry. Most writers don't bother with it, nor do most readers seem to notice it, so don't worry too much about this one, but maybe have an exercise to see if you can write within these confines. The best example is probably a well written sonnet. I won't mention my own (LOL) but 'jshep' is an excellent exponent in her recent sonnets. Have a great evenening's celebs. Ray xx
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Ray, when Turkey Day is over, I'm going to read all your technicals here and re-visit. I really appreciate the time you've put into it!! Chat with ya soon. (and again...many thanks), Sue
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Thanks, Sue. i was worried you may be offended and thought me trying to be clever.
I know from what you've said that you're willing to listen. On the other hand I never wrote a word til 1 year ago when I joined this site. I'm sure I've forgotten more than I've learned so my advice is very humble. I'll sure not be offended if you ignore me coz I'm wrong, I'm sure, as often as I'm right. Anyway, speak soon. Ray xx
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As the photo above my poem indicates......I am an open book.
In fact, I think I've turned into a sponge! HA!
Comment from nsmurty
Best of luck with your new-found love! Wish it stays loyal with fidelity.
The greatest beauty of language you realize is when a child speaks to you in its childy language for which only a mom can write a treatise. Mind you, no comprehensive treatise has ever existed! And the second time is when you find your own words mean something new ... like your first words of love... first words of real poetry.
The tempo built up to the final statement of truth is just beautiful.
Best wishes once more.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2008
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Best of luck with your new-found love! Wish it stays loyal with fidelity.
The greatest beauty of language you realize is when a child speaks to you in its childy language for which only a mom can write a treatise. Mind you, no comprehensive treatise has ever existed! And the second time is when you find your own words mean something new ... like your first words of love... first words of real poetry.
The tempo built up to the final statement of truth is just beautiful.
Best wishes once more.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2008
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Thank you for your very kind words. And am happy you enjoyed this piece. I've re-worked it a few times, even as it is posted. Really wrestled with the cadence. But, had lots of excellent input from people here; a great way to continue to grow into that new language. With regards, Sue
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
This is a good piece of freeverse,
cleverly thoughtout, with a smooth
flow to the words.. with a little
rhyme introduced here and there -
complemented with an appropriate picture.
A pleasure to review,
Margaret.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2008
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This is a good piece of freeverse,
cleverly thoughtout, with a smooth
flow to the words.. with a little
rhyme introduced here and there -
complemented with an appropriate picture.
A pleasure to review,
Margaret.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2008
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Margaret, so glad you enjoyed and I really appreciate your review and lovely comments. Regards, Sue
Comment from rmdelta
Sue,
A wonderfuly written poem with brilliant stanzas. Excellent word usage in your stanzas allow each to carry us so smoothly, so gently, into the next all the way through to the end. I'm not that great a judge of a poet, or a poetress for that matter, but seems to me that you have found your other voice. Well done, Sue.
Reggie
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reply by the author on 27-Nov-2008
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Sue,
A wonderfuly written poem with brilliant stanzas. Excellent word usage in your stanzas allow each to carry us so smoothly, so gently, into the next all the way through to the end. I'm not that great a judge of a poet, or a poetress for that matter, but seems to me that you have found your other voice. Well done, Sue.
Reggie
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2008
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Hi Reggie! Woke up this morning and found that my heart was tugging at me again, so I had to relent and give her time to speak. HAA!!!! I've been hijacked by poetry! And, I'm addicted to this wonderful website! Thank you so much for your awesome review and very kind words. With my warmest regards, Sue (HAPPY THANKSGIVING!)