Conflict in Connecticut.
A true story that happened to me.33 total reviews
Comment from Patty Mazzurco
Your recounting of the intense and harrowing experience captures both the raw emotion and the vivid details of that night. The vividness of your description draws the reader into the urgency of the situation, making them feel the tension and adrenaline you must have felt. Your account is gripping, and the transition from your initial excitement about your new role to the shocking violence of the encounter is stark and powerful.
To enhance the narrative flow, consider breaking up some of the longer paragraphs into shorter sections. This can help maintain the reader's engagement and make the events easier to follow. For instance, you might divide the account of the robbery and fight into separate paragraphs, focusing each one on different aspects of the experience--like the initial attack, the struggle, and the aftermath.
In terms of tone, your personal and descriptive approach is effective in conveying the gravity of the situation. To further enrich the narrative, you might add more reflection on how this experience impacted you personally and professionally. This could provide additional depth and insight into your thoughts and feelings after the event.
Overall, your story is compelling and intense, effectively immersing the reader in your dramatic encounter. With a few structural adjustments and deeper reflections, it could become even more impactful and resonant.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2024
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Your recounting of the intense and harrowing experience captures both the raw emotion and the vivid details of that night. The vividness of your description draws the reader into the urgency of the situation, making them feel the tension and adrenaline you must have felt. Your account is gripping, and the transition from your initial excitement about your new role to the shocking violence of the encounter is stark and powerful.
To enhance the narrative flow, consider breaking up some of the longer paragraphs into shorter sections. This can help maintain the reader's engagement and make the events easier to follow. For instance, you might divide the account of the robbery and fight into separate paragraphs, focusing each one on different aspects of the experience--like the initial attack, the struggle, and the aftermath.
In terms of tone, your personal and descriptive approach is effective in conveying the gravity of the situation. To further enrich the narrative, you might add more reflection on how this experience impacted you personally and professionally. This could provide additional depth and insight into your thoughts and feelings after the event.
Overall, your story is compelling and intense, effectively immersing the reader in your dramatic encounter. With a few structural adjustments and deeper reflections, it could become even more impactful and resonant.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2024
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Well, thank you Patty. I appreciate your insightful thoughts.
Comment from Pamusart
Hi, Harry
This sounds like a harrowing story. I'm glad you survived it. However the police should've at least let you look at mug books to see if you could identify the people involved.
And here's the other thing that other guy with the gun must've been following you in the car. He could'nt have shot you if he'd stayed in the bushes and then had you drive all that way, and then still shot you, you would've noticed him and you said the streets were empty
So how did he get close enough to shoot you when you were going 55 miles an hour with these two creeps hanging from the truck
I thought that maybe one of the two punks that fell off the truck had the gun. Because they were the only ones close enough to shoot at you.
This is very well written and kept my attention start to finish
This looks like a good entry for the contest. Good luck with!!
Here or some other
" I thought, what if he had AIDS or other disease"
Here. It should be well
" I was hoping it was cleaning my wounds good."
I enjoyed reading your story
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2024
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Hi, Harry
This sounds like a harrowing story. I'm glad you survived it. However the police should've at least let you look at mug books to see if you could identify the people involved.
And here's the other thing that other guy with the gun must've been following you in the car. He could'nt have shot you if he'd stayed in the bushes and then had you drive all that way, and then still shot you, you would've noticed him and you said the streets were empty
So how did he get close enough to shoot you when you were going 55 miles an hour with these two creeps hanging from the truck
I thought that maybe one of the two punks that fell off the truck had the gun. Because they were the only ones close enough to shoot at you.
This is very well written and kept my attention start to finish
This looks like a good entry for the contest. Good luck with!!
Here or some other
" I thought, what if he had AIDS or other disease"
Here. It should be well
" I was hoping it was cleaning my wounds good."
I enjoyed reading your story
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2024
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Well, thank you! Yes, I am not really sure who had the gun. I only know that if I had not turned my head when I did - I would not be writing this now. So, I know exactly how Donald Trump feels and I can say - yes, you do hear a bullet whizzing by!
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
An excellent entry for the Share Your Story contest. Wow. This kept me on the edge of my seat! I am not liking the response of the police but unfortunately that seems to be America. Good story and glad you got out alive. Good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2024
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An excellent entry for the Share Your Story contest. Wow. This kept me on the edge of my seat! I am not liking the response of the police but unfortunately that seems to be America. Good story and glad you got out alive. Good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2024
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Well thank you for the kind words Marilyn...
