Shadows of the Past
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Chapter 1"Traumatized by her past, Annie seeks an escape.
41 total reviews
Comment from jmdg1954
I did enjoy. Same here, I left the site 6 years ago for personal reasons and recently returned (end of November).
I enjoyed your post and look forward to more posting.
John
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2023
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I did enjoy. Same here, I left the site 6 years ago for personal reasons and recently returned (end of November).
I enjoyed your post and look forward to more posting.
John
Comment Written 14-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2023
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Thank you for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it and your feedback, John. Welcome back to the site! Glad you liked it. Take care. :D
Comment from dellsworthpoet
The opening is from an interesting point of view. The images are clear. The flow is good. The narrative stays on point. The world-building is developing well.
Suggestions:
Think more about the follow-up descriptions. When the monster bears his teeth. The next thing expected is a snarl or growl.
I don't know where you wish to go with your writing. However, I would advise you to check closely on the requirements of each genre. Each novel type has certain tropes, somewhat like idioms, that they are expected to contain. At the onset, this seems more like fantasy or paranormal than romance.
Thanks for an entertaining read.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2023
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The opening is from an interesting point of view. The images are clear. The flow is good. The narrative stays on point. The world-building is developing well.
Suggestions:
Think more about the follow-up descriptions. When the monster bears his teeth. The next thing expected is a snarl or growl.
I don't know where you wish to go with your writing. However, I would advise you to check closely on the requirements of each genre. Each novel type has certain tropes, somewhat like idioms, that they are expected to contain. At the onset, this seems more like fantasy or paranormal than romance.
Thanks for an entertaining read.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2023
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Thank you for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it and your feedback. Take care. :D
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You are welcome.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I enjoyed reading this first chapter, and will continue to see where you take us. It's very intriguing, and I love supernatural stories. I look forward to getting to know your characters. Well done. Excellent start. :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2023
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I enjoyed reading this first chapter, and will continue to see where you take us. It's very intriguing, and I love supernatural stories. I look forward to getting to know your characters. Well done. Excellent start. :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 14-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2023
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Thank you for reading and reviewing, Sandra. I appreciate it and your feedback. I'm planning to work on chapter 3 this holiday weekend, and I hope to have it uploaded soon. Hope you enjoy chapter two as well. Thank you again for reviewing. Take care. :D
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
I will have to read on and into the upcoming chapter to see who saved Annie. When there is abuse like your brother had, I can see why you would wonder who did this to him? So glad your back writing on FS.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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I will have to read on and into the upcoming chapter to see who saved Annie. When there is abuse like your brother had, I can see why you would wonder who did this to him? So glad your back writing on FS.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Yes, I'm happy to be writing again on FS too. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. It's much appreciated. :D
Comment from Ric Myworld
I can't remember if I've ever read any of your work from when you were here before, but I've certainly enjoyed reading your post today. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2023
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I can't remember if I've ever read any of your work from when you were here before, but I've certainly enjoyed reading your post today. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2023
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Thank you for reading and reviewing, Ric Myworld. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm so glad to be back on this site. I forgot how helpful it is. :D Take care.
Comment from Mary Shifman
Well, this story is certainly creepy! I like writing with a supernatural theme or edge. I'm glad you're back and look forward to reading more of your work.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2023
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Well, this story is certainly creepy! I like writing with a supernatural theme or edge. I'm glad you're back and look forward to reading more of your work.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2023
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Awwww, thank you, Mary Shifman. Yes, there is a creepy edge that does come out even more in chapter 2, which I'll be posting either tomorrow or Tuesday, depending on my work schedule. I'm glad you're enjoying this story too. Thank you for your much-appreciated feedback! Take care. :D :D
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You are welcome. I can't wait for Chapter 2!
Comment from amahra
I love your style of writing. But the transition was a bit confusing. Don't laugh, but I thought the scene about the fangs and, "...she's yours, sounded like vampires and Gab was one of them. Perhaps, I'll read it again later. But for now, I have to make a lot of FS money.
I grew up in the shadow of the supernatural. [Love this as the first line of this story]
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2023
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I love your style of writing. But the transition was a bit confusing. Don't laugh, but I thought the scene about the fangs and, "...she's yours, sounded like vampires and Gab was one of them. Perhaps, I'll read it again later. But for now, I have to make a lot of FS money.
I grew up in the shadow of the supernatural. [Love this as the first line of this story]
Comment Written 07-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2023
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Thank you, amahra, for your review and feedback. I appreciate it. Yes, you read that scene correctly. This story is both romantic and supernatural. As for Gabe, his background and relationship with Annie will be revealed in chapter 2, which I plan to post on Monday or Tuesday. Thank you again!
Comment from Ricky1024
Chapter Number One.
In your Book Entitled, "Shadows of the Past"
Was well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and flowed well with No Grammar Issues.
...
Complete Synopsis:
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned most Perfectly.
Thanks for sharing this and have a Blessed day.
Doctor Ricky 1024
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2023
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Chapter Number One.
In your Book Entitled, "Shadows of the Past"
Was well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and flowed well with No Grammar Issues.
...
Complete Synopsis:
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned most Perfectly.
Thanks for sharing this and have a Blessed day.
Doctor Ricky 1024
Comment Written 07-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2023
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Thank you so much for your feedback, Ricky1024. I appreciate it a lot. Have a blessed day too. :D
Comment from Sarah Das Gupta
The characterisation of Annie is well developed and her dependence on her brother. The central episode is rather confusing- there is a rather sudden transition into a dream-like, supernatural sequence. No doubt chapter 2 will clarify this.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2023
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The characterisation of Annie is well developed and her dependence on her brother. The central episode is rather confusing- there is a rather sudden transition into a dream-like, supernatural sequence. No doubt chapter 2 will clarify this.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2023
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Thank you, Sarah Das Gupta for your amazing feedback. I'm so sorry for the confusion. Can you tell me more about where it happens? Thank you again for your review. It's very much appreciated. :D
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HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i WAS A BIT CONFUSED AFTER ANNIE
BREAKS DOWN AND FINDS IT HARD TO EXPRESS HER THOUGHTS.
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If you're talking about the first paragraph, that was a journal entry. Even though it's been a few years since she escaped, she still doesn't like to think about those days. I'll be more in-depth about this in chapters 2 and 3. Thank you for clarifying.
Comment from Moonbeams Musings 55
I wish I had six stars to give. A story that drew me in from the beginning, so much so that feel let down actually that it ended. A great start. I cannot wait for more chapters!
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2023
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I wish I had six stars to give. A story that drew me in from the beginning, so much so that feel let down actually that it ended. A great start. I cannot wait for more chapters!
Comment Written 07-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2023
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Awwwww, thank you so much! That means a lot to me. I have the second chapter ready to go, and I'll upload it within the next few days. Thank you again for reading my word. I appreciate it. :D
