The Return
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "The Return Chapter 25"Erotic Turmoil
35 total reviews
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
It's difficult to read the first chapter out of context, as you know... but I'll catch up asap. In the meantime, your writing is well-paced, with clear distinction between the different voices. Good story-line, and clear, except for the few points indicated below. I look forwards to reading more Kate xx
Potential SPAGs for your consideration:
Certainly not for money, as far as we know he's got enough of his own. > EITHER Certainly not for money, since as far as we know he's got enough of his own. OR Certainly not for money. As far as we know he's got enough of his own.
Margot wrote down the reason the solicitor might have > incomplete thought. might have what?
Jane was helping one of the maids to stand up, she had a trickle of blood > reads as though it's Jane who's bleeding
Her first priority > reads as though her is Jane
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reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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It's difficult to read the first chapter out of context, as you know... but I'll catch up asap. In the meantime, your writing is well-paced, with clear distinction between the different voices. Good story-line, and clear, except for the few points indicated below. I look forwards to reading more Kate xx
Potential SPAGs for your consideration:
Certainly not for money, as far as we know he's got enough of his own. > EITHER Certainly not for money, since as far as we know he's got enough of his own. OR Certainly not for money. As far as we know he's got enough of his own.
Margot wrote down the reason the solicitor might have > incomplete thought. might have what?
Jane was helping one of the maids to stand up, she had a trickle of blood > reads as though it's Jane who's bleeding
Her first priority > reads as though her is Jane
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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Hi, Kate, thank you so much for reading this chapter, and the help with the edits. I really apprecate it. I know it's hard to come into a story this far into it. I've only a few more chapter to go. So it probably won't make a whole lot of sense!! Lol. It's a complicated story. So it was so very nice of you to read it give it the lovely stars. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx Oh, I corrected them and made the changes where you suggested they were needed. Thanks again!!
Comment from BethShelby
So maybe what she is looking for was on the back of the picture. They seem to be making progress in figuring things out. I still wondering about Bessie. It seem she lived and worked for the family during this time but there was a lot she wasn't privy to. She has been sent back with to change the past and she that Meg doesn't die. At least, that is what I guessing.
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reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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So maybe what she is looking for was on the back of the picture. They seem to be making progress in figuring things out. I still wondering about Bessie. It seem she lived and worked for the family during this time but there was a lot she wasn't privy to. She has been sent back with to change the past and she that Meg doesn't die. At least, that is what I guessing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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It just might be what she's looking for, but who knows? I have to wait for her to tell me, so that I can tell you!! Lol. Thanks so much for reading my chapter, Beth, and the lovely review you've given me. I really appreciate it. Love and hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is another compelling chapter, Sandra. Your imagery and dialogue are excellent, as are you showing of Meg's deep emotions. I like this cliff-hanger too. Great writing.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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This is another compelling chapter, Sandra. Your imagery and dialogue are excellent, as are you showing of Meg's deep emotions. I like this cliff-hanger too. Great writing.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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Aw, thank you, Judy, I'm so pleased you enjoyed this chapter. Thank you so very much for the golden sixth star, you've been so supportive and I do so appreciate it. Love and hugs, my friend. Sandra xxx
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You're most welcome, Sandra. Hugs.
Comment from Pantygynt
So that's where the note was - a most fortuitous accident I'm sure. We now have three candidates for the villain of the piece but which of those three is it?
This was a really good chapter, racing along at a great pace.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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So that's where the note was - a most fortuitous accident I'm sure. We now have three candidates for the villain of the piece but which of those three is it?
This was a really good chapter, racing along at a great pace.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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Is it a note? Hmm! Lol, Thank you so much for this lovely review, and the golden star. I'm so pleased you enjoyed this chapter. Warm hugs, dear friend! :)) Sandra xx
HAMILTON IS ON THE PODIUM!! Lol. I read your prologue when the safety car was out, I hoped there would be one because I was itching to read it. Father's Day, Graham's boys have been here all day!!
Wasn't the race exciting? Aww, I was so happy for Hamilton. Sad that Sainz couldn't get to win!!!!!
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Hey it wasnt a prologuue it was the eepilogue. I am not ready to start again! Yes it was great to see our Lewis on the podium againn an after a pretty exciting race too.
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Oh, so I won't be getting any more? 😭😭😭😭😭 xx
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I can't wait to find out what was behind the broken picture. I really like this story and can't wait to read more. You're doing a good job writing it. Thank you for sharing it with us.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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I can't wait to find out what was behind the broken picture. I really like this story and can't wait to read more. You're doing a good job writing it. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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Thank you so much, Barbara, I really appreciate your lovely review, and continued support. And a big hugs for the golden star!! Have a lovely week, my friend. Warm hugs, Sandra xx
