The Return
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "The Return Chapter 20"Erotic Turmoil
37 total reviews
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is another well-written chapter, with many questions arising from it, Sandra. I'm anxious to see if Richard dies before he can solicit help to stop the marriage.
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
  |
This is another well-written chapter, with many questions arising from it, Sandra. I'm anxious to see if Richard dies before he can solicit help to stop the marriage.
Comment Written 15-May-2022
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
-
Now that is the question. Will Richard get to Lord Brandon? Hmm, if Gwendolyn has her way, he won't be going anywhere. But, that is something we don't know yet. Lol. Thank you so much, Judy, for this lovely review. I really appreciate it. Warm hugs, Sandra xx
-
You're most welcome, Sandra. It's an intriguing story.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-An excellent chapter, Sandra, that moves things along very well.
-A good discussion between Miles and Joshua.
-Interesting that Miles had an interest in the vote that would help the poor, and also that he was at his house to ask him to be his best man.
-He deserves the joy he is feeling at the moment.
-We also learn that Robert is Joshua's butler! I'm sure he does a great job!!
-It also sounds like Joshua is a very good friend who cares about Miles and Meg.
-Then you take us to the home of Richard and Gwendolyn, and share more interesting details.
-Richard is in quite a state after his tirade in the previous chapter, but Gwendolyn captures our attention with her plan, supported by her butler.
-It is good to see there is someone who cares about her.
-I like how you include his attitude about respecting women, too.
-You did a good job with the ending and the plan for the "special ingredient.
-Well done!!
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
 |
-An excellent chapter, Sandra, that moves things along very well.
-A good discussion between Miles and Joshua.
-Interesting that Miles had an interest in the vote that would help the poor, and also that he was at his house to ask him to be his best man.
-He deserves the joy he is feeling at the moment.
-We also learn that Robert is Joshua's butler! I'm sure he does a great job!!
-It also sounds like Joshua is a very good friend who cares about Miles and Meg.
-Then you take us to the home of Richard and Gwendolyn, and share more interesting details.
-Richard is in quite a state after his tirade in the previous chapter, but Gwendolyn captures our attention with her plan, supported by her butler.
-It is good to see there is someone who cares about her.
-I like how you include his attitude about respecting women, too.
-You did a good job with the ending and the plan for the "special ingredient.
-Well done!!
Comment Written 15-May-2022
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
-
I thought Robert would make the perfect butler. And he writes romantic poems, so he obviously respects women. 😊
Thank you so much for another lovely, detailed review, Pam, and the sixth golden star. I appreciate them both. I'm glad you enjoyed this part. Thanks, my friend. Warm hugs, and love Sandra xx
-
Yes, Robert does write romantic poems. I was gobsmacked by his dedication; I had no idea! You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Sandra.
Comment from Pantygynt
Skulduggery afoot here. This was a fascinating chapter. I have picked up a few points but the are in reality very minor.
'...it wasn't far, and as it was a nice day, he decided to walk. Joshua was at home and greeted his friend with a warm smile and a firm handshake.' >> There seem to be a lot of 'ands' in close proximity here. I wondered if this slight rephrasing, getting rid of one of them might improve it.
'...It wasn't far, and as it was a nice day, he decided to walk. Joshua was at home to greet his friend with a warm smile and a firm handshake.' >> Just a thought.
'...wasn't the only reason I came up to the city.' >> The city implies the city of London and he hasn't been there, only to Westminster. Yes, it is a city too but no one refers to it like that. I think he might have said '...came up to town.' That covers the whole of London.
'When I heard you were still in the city,...' >> If this refers to Josh's work in the city of London then this is fair usage of the term.
I don't see any of these as being serious enough to withhold that sixth star from a very enjoyable chapter.
'...in his drink's cabinet...' >> As this is his cabinet of drinks the the apostrophe should come after the s > '...his drinks' cabinet'
'For as long as he could remember, Miles had been constantly warned...' >> Cut the 'constantly' as it creates a tautology.
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
|
Skulduggery afoot here. This was a fascinating chapter. I have picked up a few points but the are in reality very minor.
'...it wasn't far, and as it was a nice day, he decided to walk. Joshua was at home and greeted his friend with a warm smile and a firm handshake.' >> There seem to be a lot of 'ands' in close proximity here. I wondered if this slight rephrasing, getting rid of one of them might improve it.
'...It wasn't far, and as it was a nice day, he decided to walk. Joshua was at home to greet his friend with a warm smile and a firm handshake.' >> Just a thought.
'...wasn't the only reason I came up to the city.' >> The city implies the city of London and he hasn't been there, only to Westminster. Yes, it is a city too but no one refers to it like that. I think he might have said '...came up to town.' That covers the whole of London.
'When I heard you were still in the city,...' >> If this refers to Josh's work in the city of London then this is fair usage of the term.
I don't see any of these as being serious enough to withhold that sixth star from a very enjoyable chapter.
'...in his drink's cabinet...' >> As this is his cabinet of drinks the the apostrophe should come after the s > '...his drinks' cabinet'
'For as long as he could remember, Miles had been constantly warned...' >> Cut the 'constantly' as it creates a tautology.
Comment Written 15-May-2022
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
-
Thank you so much, Jim, for this really helpful review. I've taken all your suggestions and used them, and made a couple of further changes. Thank you for the golden star, my friend. I really appreciate it. Warm hugs. Sandra xx
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I enjoyed reading this post. Is Gwendolyn planning her husband's death. I do believe she is. This is a twist I haven't figured on. Thank you for sharing this with us. I do enjoy this story.
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
|
I enjoyed reading this post. Is Gwendolyn planning her husband's death. I do believe she is. This is a twist I haven't figured on. Thank you for sharing this with us. I do enjoy this story.
Comment Written 15-May-2022
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
-
Thank you so much, Barbara, for another lovely review, and the golden star. I'm glad you liked the twist and that you're still enjoying the story. Warm hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xx
Comment from Lloyd T. Okoko
The objective correlative of your work reminisces a lingering proposal for a wedding denied for too long.
The work highlights Richard's ill- satisfactory relationship with Gwendolyn; Miles confiding in Joshua of his resolve to tie his nuptial knots with Meg; Richard Crawley's bid to stop the wedding; and his cowardly nature, which appears to impede his goal.
The work earns its texture through its effective use of anecdotes synonymous with the upsurge of unconsenting voices and delayed approval of marital ties.
Excellent work. Bravo.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
|
The objective correlative of your work reminisces a lingering proposal for a wedding denied for too long.
The work highlights Richard's ill- satisfactory relationship with Gwendolyn; Miles confiding in Joshua of his resolve to tie his nuptial knots with Meg; Richard Crawley's bid to stop the wedding; and his cowardly nature, which appears to impede his goal.
The work earns its texture through its effective use of anecdotes synonymous with the upsurge of unconsenting voices and delayed approval of marital ties.
Excellent work. Bravo.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-May-2022
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
-
Thank you so much, Lloyd, for reading my chapter and the lovely review. I appreciate it a lot. Warm hugs, Sandra xx
-
Remain Blessed.
-
You, too, my friend.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Oh, Crawley's fuse has been lit, and the bomb is about to go off, unless it just sizzles for a while. LOL. It's always fun and never a dull moment. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
|
Oh, Crawley's fuse has been lit, and the bomb is about to go off, unless it just sizzles for a while. LOL. It's always fun and never a dull moment. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 15-May-2022
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
-
Thank you so much, Ric, for another of your fabulous reviews, and that shiny six! That was so kind of you. Love and warm hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xx
Comment from BethShelby
I guess Gwendolyn's butler is about to poison Richard. I can't figure out how this will all play out yet, so I'll just keep reading and find out. It is very exciting story.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
|
I guess Gwendolyn's butler is about to poison Richard. I can't figure out how this will all play out yet, so I'll just keep reading and find out. It is very exciting story.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-May-2022
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
-
Thank you, Beth, for reading this chapter. There aren't too many chapters to go, so stick with me! Lol. Thanks, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
