The Return
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "The Return Chapter 16"Erotic Turmoil
33 total reviews
Comment from rspoet
Hello Sandra,
The web grows more tangled with each chapter. Margot makes a good Meg,
but reality will soon come calling, then we shall see how two can become one, and which one will be 'the one'.
This chapter is very well written, with very good "acting' by Margot.
The hesitating dialogue works nicely.
Bessie is now going to have to discover the crucial information. That should be fun.
I think you're going to need a "future Miles" to meeting Margot in her own time to makes all your readers happy. Two weddings.
Meg is a keeper, Margot is a keeper, Miles is a keeper, now what future Millard can turn up for Margot. :)
Well done.
Best wishes.
Hope you're both getting better.
Robert
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2022
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Hello Sandra,
The web grows more tangled with each chapter. Margot makes a good Meg,
but reality will soon come calling, then we shall see how two can become one, and which one will be 'the one'.
This chapter is very well written, with very good "acting' by Margot.
The hesitating dialogue works nicely.
Bessie is now going to have to discover the crucial information. That should be fun.
I think you're going to need a "future Miles" to meeting Margot in her own time to makes all your readers happy. Two weddings.
Meg is a keeper, Margot is a keeper, Miles is a keeper, now what future Millard can turn up for Margot. :)
Well done.
Best wishes.
Hope you're both getting better.
Robert
Comment Written 17-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2022
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Thank you so much, Robert! I'm afraid Margot is going to be painfully heatbroken by the time she has to leave Miles. But, she knew what she was taking on. We'll have to wait and see how she copes with that later in the story. Until then, she should enjoy her time with Miles when she can, and help Bessie sort Mile's dad and Cranky out as well. Thank you for the lovely golden star, my friend, and have a wonderful Easter. :)) Sandra xx
Yes, we are both feeling better, and can't wait to test negative now. Thanks for asking. :)) xxxx
Comment from Pantygynt
Poor Margot is getting really caught up in her portrayal of Meg. Sometimes she seems more Meg than Margot and at others things are all upside down.
The weather too seems unable to make up its mind. Early on the the summer's heat is referred to as destroying most of the grass and yet there is a roaring fire inside the house. I thing some adjustment or explanation is needed here.
I did find the following needed some attention:
'Back in their day it was unusual for a couple to marry for love. It was more to do with boosting the fortunes, or opportunities, of both families. It's still like that today, but that's neither here nor there. As it was, my grandparents loved each other dearly.'
If it is still like that today is it worth commenting on. This is something that might be mentioned if she was back in the 21st century but she isn't - yet.
these are minor points that can easily be sorted. It is still a great story and I remain intrigued.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2022
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Poor Margot is getting really caught up in her portrayal of Meg. Sometimes she seems more Meg than Margot and at others things are all upside down.
The weather too seems unable to make up its mind. Early on the the summer's heat is referred to as destroying most of the grass and yet there is a roaring fire inside the house. I thing some adjustment or explanation is needed here.
I did find the following needed some attention:
'Back in their day it was unusual for a couple to marry for love. It was more to do with boosting the fortunes, or opportunities, of both families. It's still like that today, but that's neither here nor there. As it was, my grandparents loved each other dearly.'
If it is still like that today is it worth commenting on. This is something that might be mentioned if she was back in the 21st century but she isn't - yet.
these are minor points that can easily be sorted. It is still a great story and I remain intrigued.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2022
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Thanks so much, Jim. I accidently missed putting in, Winter' in that sentence, it's there now. And I've taken out the sentence saying it's like that today. In fact, it is like that in the 21st century in some cultures. I'd hate for it to have been like it when I got married. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra
Comment from BethShelby
This is just an excellent story. Your chapters end too quickly, and I regret I have a wait a whole week for more. It isn't going to be easy for Margot to give up this handsome man. I think she'd be willing to stay in the past just to be with him.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2022
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This is just an excellent story. Your chapters end too quickly, and I regret I have a wait a whole week for more. It isn't going to be easy for Margot to give up this handsome man. I think she'd be willing to stay in the past just to be with him.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2022
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Thank you so very much for this lovely review, Beth. I'm so pleased you are enjoying my story. Margot is in for a tough time ahead having fallen heavily in love with Miles. Thank you also for the sixth golden star, my friend! Happy Easter, and have a wonderful week. Love and hugs, Sandra xx