St Louis
Viewing comments for Chapter 72 "St. Louis Chapter 31 part 1"Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?
21 total reviews
Comment from Jan Anderegg
What an excellent chapter. I didn't see any errors. This is definitely a book I would buy and read when published. I now intend to go look for your already published book on Amazon. :-)
You say in the author's notes you can't keep the title St. Louis? Why is that?
Anyway, what about "The Lou" or "St. Lou" ? Just a thought. :-)
Notes:
"Thank you for not making a judgement." Logan nodded, and she continued, "One guy pried my mouth open and another poured a bottle of whiskey down me. I spit as much of it out as I could. That only made them angrier. I don't remember much after that, only a few sounds, but nothing intelligible. They did this repeatedly."
You need a line space here, because this is still McKenzie speaking and it will confuse the reader.
"Thank you for not making a judgement."
Logan nodded, and she continued, "One guy pried my mouth open and another poured a bottle of whiskey down me. I spit as much of it out as I could. That only made them angrier. I don't remember much after that, only a few sounds, but nothing intelligible. They did this repeatedly."
Excellent chapter. I loved your dialogue. Descriptions were just right and emotions and reactions seemed to fit the characters.
All the best,
Jan
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2020
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What an excellent chapter. I didn't see any errors. This is definitely a book I would buy and read when published. I now intend to go look for your already published book on Amazon. :-)
You say in the author's notes you can't keep the title St. Louis? Why is that?
Anyway, what about "The Lou" or "St. Lou" ? Just a thought. :-)
Notes:
"Thank you for not making a judgement." Logan nodded, and she continued, "One guy pried my mouth open and another poured a bottle of whiskey down me. I spit as much of it out as I could. That only made them angrier. I don't remember much after that, only a few sounds, but nothing intelligible. They did this repeatedly."
You need a line space here, because this is still McKenzie speaking and it will confuse the reader.
"Thank you for not making a judgement."
Logan nodded, and she continued, "One guy pried my mouth open and another poured a bottle of whiskey down me. I spit as much of it out as I could. That only made them angrier. I don't remember much after that, only a few sounds, but nothing intelligible. They did this repeatedly."
Excellent chapter. I loved your dialogue. Descriptions were just right and emotions and reactions seemed to fit the characters.
All the best,
Jan
Comment Written 28-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2020
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I'm confused on your suggestion. Mac is speaking in both areas. Why do I need a space? Thank you for the kind review.
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Oh, okay, my bad. I must have misread it! :-)
