Reviews from

Heart Cafted Poems - 2020

Viewing comments for Chapter 32 "Tattered But Not Done"
Musings of an old man -2020

55 total reviews 
Comment from Susan Larson
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is so stirring and reflective of what is happening and so opposite of what Martin Lutherking Jr. dreamed of. Why is no one ever quoting him. Hope you have other venues for this poem so you can it out there! You can pretend this is seven stars.*******

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2020


reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
    Susa,, I am so grateful for this validation! I am sick and tired of being sick and tired....my rant is about the lack of "voices heard" from leaders of all colors and all backgrounds, not standing up to Marxist people who hate America represents with all of our shortcomings, the USA still beats living under a different flag.
reply by Susan Larson on 25-Jun-2020
    I agree, but you have to wonder how many death threats are against these leaders. And no matter what you say, they accuse you of being racist. I RARELY get political on Facebook, but I share a picture of a little white girl and little Japanese girl with the QUESTION, NOY STATEMENT, "If she should apologize for slavery, then should she apologize for Pearl Harbor." I was bombarded with comments that I was a racist. So I've wondered. If we all signed a notarized statement to be put on file in the national archives that we're sorry for slavery, would that end it all?
reply by Susan Larson on 26-Jun-2020
    It just registered with me that your title paraphrases 2 Corinthians 4: 8-9 () : )
Comment from ElPoetry001
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Their plan is to attack history and to try to erase it.
They are selective in their targets, and gloss over people that were KKK, touching them on the shoulder and forgiving them, applying "...the transformative power of this nation." [NAACP statement as to Senator Robert Byrd].

If black police are to be killed and burned like bacon, then All Black Lives Matter is not their goal.

America is a Phoenix and is poised to strike back.

Although they have abandoned Dr. Martin Luther king, they cannot avoid his message.

"...but there is something I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of getting our rightful place we must no be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred."

I have a dream by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr; August 28, 1963
Stay well.



 Comment Written 25-Jun-2020


reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
    I was 13 years old, I remember his speech as though it was yesterday.
    We have come so far, and have so far to yet to go, sadly our history and over 200 other countries can't erase slavery from its history and there is always going to be 1 or 2% on all sides who will never "get it" but that doesn't mean bad behavior should not be put in check!
reply by ElPoetry001 on 25-Jun-2020
    Stay well
reply by ElPoetry001 on 25-Jun-2020
    Stay well
Comment from amada
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a very intensee read. Very provocative as well in these times of turmoil. For sure, it pained me to see that tattered flag. Like most of us, its hurting as well.

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2020


reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
    Amada, I was 13 years old, I remember his speech as though it was yesterday.
    We have come so far, and have so far to yet to go, sadly our history and over 200 other countries can't erase slavery from its history and there is always going to be 1 or 2% on all sides who will never "get it" but that doesn't mean bad behavior should not be put in check!
Comment from RPSaxena
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hello JLR,
Nice piece of Commentary and Philosophy Poetry meeting the desired norms, having impressive phraseology, enchanting flow throughout from the beginning to the end, and beautifully depicting the present scenario prevalent in the US.
Picture enhances depth and beauty of the poem.
LAUDABLE Attempt!
BEST OF LUCK in the contest.

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2020


reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
    Thank you
reply by RPSaxena on 29-Jun-2020
    JLR, Most Welcome!
    With best wishes,
    ~ RP
Comment from Precious Owuamalam
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A wonderful poem and a very suitable image to match. A great read. Well-done. You well-executed within the laid out rules for the contest.

My very best wishes in this regard.

Blessings and good health.

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2020


reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
    precious, thank you.
Comment from Vanna1
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I could feel the intensity you were trying to portray. However you had one line that was a mouthful. It was hard to see what was the stand or cause of the speaker. But still it is fiery so it has great potential. Happy writing!

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2020


reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
    Vsnna thanks
Comment from Jacob David Collins
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

What your poem highlights is how crazy things in the world have become. We're experiencing the same hatred here in the UK; I fully support equality for all, but unfortunately history can't be changed. I thought this was a well written piece. Good luck in the contest!

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2020


reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
    JAcob, thanks much, sad but true nonetheless.
Comment from Patty Palmer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Well said!! It makes me physically ill to see them burning our flag! The flag that stands for freedom and liberty for all! They need to get over it!!!
I believe that anyone burning the flag should go to jail!! Good job!
Patty

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2020


reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
    Patty, I am right in lock step with that sentiment.
Comment from Aussie
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Anger becomes hate and hate will breed among hateful attitudes. America the superpower is learning a lesson the hard way. All countries are suffering. The herd mentality will not solve your problems. Break the rules and no one rules - Trump has realized that much.

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2020


reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
    My Aussie you are so true! You folks seem to have the most calm going around the gobe.
Comment from Gloria ....
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is an interesting idea for the 20 line poem, contest.

These are definitely tumultuous times we are living in around the world and the marginalized are raising their voices to be heard once again.

Just a couple of points with your poem

This line: Is it time to write ... has five words and it should be four.

And your three central lines from: to say, "I hate and ending with ... so no one can all have 10 words, so one will need to be changed.

Also your author note is missing the number 6 in the descending list.

Canadians are in the process of statue toppling too as are other countries so it seems to be a global phenomenon.

Excellent entry into the contest celebrating FanStory's twentieth anniversary and I wish you great luck with the voters.

Gloria

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2020


reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
    Gloria good catch thanks much!