Comment from MTF1955

Excellent

I'm so glad to be catching up with your story again. I do love these characters. Love the hook. Now I will just have to wait and see if Francis makes it or does the evil Sir John get away with murder. Mary

 Comment Written 06-Nov-2017

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reply by the author on 07-Nov-2017

Thank you so much, Mary, for another lovely review. I'm so pleased you like my characters, I've got quite fond of them too, LOL. Especially Mildred. Big hugs, my friend. Sandra xxx

Comment from aryr

Excellent

The suspense keeps building. It was great that Veronica had chance to talk to Gwendolyne. It still remains a mystery as to what will happen to Francis but I have confidence that it will be a good outcome. I liked the fact that his fathers identity still remains unknown. You did a great job with this one Sandra, thanks so much my friend.

 Comment Written 06-Nov-2017

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reply by the author on 07-Nov-2017

Hi Alie, thank you so very much for another lovely review, my friend. Veronica is getting very frustrated about Gwendolyn not telling her. I've got a vague idea, but I'll have to wait for Veronica to find out!! LOL. Big hugs, my friend. Sandra xxxx

reply by aryr on 07-Nov-2017

I could sense that frustration and I am confident that Veronica being such a great amateur detective will indeed find out. You are so welcome my friend, big hugs in return.

Comment from Phyllis Stewart

Exceptional

Oh, no one hurt Francis. But I can see why his mom is worried, since she is powerless to help him. Maybe Veronica can do something she can't...or, better yet, they might work together! What fun! :)

 Comment Written 06-Nov-2017

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reply by the author on 07-Nov-2017

Thank you so very much for the lovely 6 stars, Phyllis and the lovely review. It took me longer to finish it this time, my head has been under water for over a week. Almost back to my old self. I'm blaming the flu injection, it seemed to me like it gave me a triple dose of the flu rather than doing it's job and stopping it. I guess it's also an age thing. :( Thanks again, my friend! xx Sandra xxx

Comment from l.raven

Exceptional

HI Sandra, are you ok sweet angel????...I didn't know what happened to you...and who cares about the errors...they'll get over it...LOL...

next!!!...enough of the short tall...WHO IS THE FATHER???...I was on the edge of my seat watching for the answer...and fell off when you stopped writing...did your computer go down????...did Gwendoyne fall asleep talking???...hummmmm....a great chapter sweet girl...very well written...and I love your picture...sooooo very well written...love you lots...Linda xxoo

I hope you are feeling better...Ian too...say hi for me...love xxoo

 Comment Written 06-Nov-2017

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reply by the author on 06-Nov-2017

LOL, Linda you always make me laugh, you are so funny. You will get to know who the father is in CHAPTER 47. and as there are THREE PARTS per CHAPTER that makes it in another 27 parts, LOL! :)) Thank you so much for your fun review, and all those shiny stars, my dear friend. I really enjoy reading them. Big hugs and lots of love, xxx Sandra xx

I'm much better now, Linda, I had an awful reaction to my flu jab. My friend told me I had the same thing happen last year, sooooo I'm making a note not to have it next year. Ian is doing alright at the moment, he had a lovely holiday but came back with his legs all swollen again and has to keep them up. But he said it was worth it, because he had a lovely time. Thanks for always caring my friend. Another big hug!! :) Sandra xxxxx

reply by l.raven on 06-Nov-2017

I am so glad you are ok...my father never gets anything...or used to...he got a flu shot and said he was the sickest he had been in life...he was bad...I can't get them because of my allergies...if your allergic to eggs you can't have them....sigh...tell Ian to toss those legs in the air...and keep them there...LOL...you both take care...biggerest love to you...love xxoo

Comment from damommy

Exceptional

I think these ladies must work fast before Sir John does something drastic. It's sad to think how people with handicaps of some sort were treated back then.

I don't need to say wonderful chapter again. It speaks for itself. 8-)

Sorry to hear you've been ill. I had a rough month due to a lupus flare-up, but like you, I'm up and running again. Can't keep us down, eh?

 Comment Written 06-Nov-2017

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reply by the author on 06-Nov-2017

Hi, Yvonne, Thank you so much, my dear friend, for another of your lovely reviews and all those beautiful stars!! I've been researching the plight of albinos, and although we are more aware of this condition, many today shy away from these poor people. It must be awful. Thank you again, my friend. : ) Sandra xxx

I'm sorry you've been unwell too, it takes it's toll for a while, doesn't it? but yes, I'm up and crawling again! LOL, Me RUN!! I wish, my legs would go on strike!! I'm glad you are, though! xxx

reply by damommy on 06-Nov-2017

We just don't bounce back like we used to. 8-)

Comment from rama devi

Excellent

So sorry to hear you'vbe not bee well, dear. Sendig heraling thoughts your way! This chapter is good, but did not draw me in as much as others have. That might be due to my jet lag, though, as I've just come to USA a few days back and am still discombobulated in my sleeping.

Still, it was well paced and has good characterization, p;lot and dialog. Maybe add in a few similes...

NOTES


I realised I still had my mouth open,(NO COMMA - dependent clause) and immediately clamped it shut.
* Her eyes strayed over to Francis(ADD COMMA _ INDEPENDENT CLAUSE) and I watched as confusion invaded her lovely features.

*Spacing typo:
'For such an intelligent man,

*He never forgave me for falling in love with Francis's father

Francis' - no 's' just the apostrophe. Here too:

'I knew you were Francis's mother
'I knew you were Francis' mother


Telling more than showing:

My question had obviously made her suspicious of my motives, and she broke my stare before speaking again.

Example showing:


Her raised brows showed her suspicion of my motives, and she broke my stare before speaking again.

*
'One thing I'm not, is a ghost. It's complicated, but I'm from the future, and I'm very much alive in my own time.(,)' I told her, '...and I believe I've been sent here to help your son.'

*
The confusion on Gwendolyn's face evaporated,(NO COMMA) and was replaced with a look of relief.

*suggest trimming unnecessary speech tag here:

Gwendolyn didn't look convinced. 'Can you take him away from here?' she asked.
*
I recounted the story about Joe helping to repair the roof,(no comma) and how he'd seen Francis looking out of the window.


*either no comma or two commas here:

'The problem he has(,) now, is the fact he mentioned

*but he's come back to find out your brother is looking for him, and (he) has threatened to throw his family out of their cottage.

I found it hard to gauge whether she liked my suggestion, (no comma) and hoped she didn't think it was just a ploy to find out more about Francis's parentage.

Warm Smiles, rd

 Comment Written 06-Nov-2017

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reply by the author on 06-Nov-2017

Hi Rama, thank you so much for running your expert eye over this part. I'm going to put the blame of my tardiness this time on my fuzzy head! I've made all the correction, thank you, my friend. :) Big hugs, Sandra xxxx

reply by rama devi on 06-Nov-2017

xxxoooo :-)))))

Comment from pbomar1115

Excellent

Now, that Veronica and Gwendolyn are talking, trust block much of what Veronica can reveal to Gwendolyn. Gwendolyn concern for Francis's future could make it difficult for Veronica solving the main problem: Keep Francis alive.


Phillip

 Comment Written 06-Nov-2017

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reply by the author on 06-Nov-2017

It's going to be hard for Veronica to sort this one out, Phil. Thank you so much, my friend. ) Sandra xxxx

reply by pbomar1115 on 06-Nov-2017

You're welcome, Sandra.

Phillip

Comment from Thomas Bowling

Excellent

This is a very interesting and unique ghost story. It's not your typical haunted by an evil spirit ghost tale. No one is afraid or murdered. A person can be a ghost and alive at the same time.

 Comment Written 06-Nov-2017

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reply by the author on 06-Nov-2017

I'm coming back as a good ghost, and sort some of the nasty people out! LOL, That would be fun. Thank you, Tom, for reading my story. Big hugs. Sandra xxx

Comment from Ulla

Exceptional

Oh, Sandra, I'm so pleased you're back with the story. This was a fantastic chapter. I do wonder what will happen next. What indeed became of Frances. Ignorance is such a dangerous thing.
Just a minor thing: To take Alice to hospital = to the hospital.
I didn't know you've been unwell. I hope you're okay now, dear friend. Hugs from me. Ulla xxxx

 Comment Written 06-Nov-2017

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reply by the author on 06-Nov-2017

Aww, thank you Ulla, for the lovely 6 stars. What a lovely review. I am in a quandary over the : the hospital, because it the way we say it here.: : I have to go to hospital for an op... But, I would say, I have to go to the hospital to pick Jo up.... I'll see if any more pick it up, you're not the first, I remember someone mentioning it in the first book. But, thank you for pointing it out, now I'll do a bit of research. :) Thanks again, my dear friend. :) Sandra xxx

I've been quite run down after my flu jab, it knocked the stuffing out of me. I'm picking up now, but still have a terrible cough. I'll get there, it just takes longer as you get older.

Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca

Excellent

Now it becomes a tug of war as to what happens to the child to satisfy everyone. You leave us wanting more to see where you are going to take us. Very well written

 Comment Written 06-Nov-2017

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reply by the author on 06-Nov-2017

It was terrible the superstitions surrounding albinos, there still is in some places. Perhaps in a small way this story will make people realise it is no different to others who have strawberry birthmarks, or some other problem that makes them stand out. We are all the same under the skin. Thank you, my friend for the lovely review. Big hugs. Sandra xxx