Reviews from

Haiku Club Challenges, Book II

Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Haiku (on their bed at dawn)"
an anthology of haiku written by fanstory poets

28 total reviews 
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Excellent
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Oh yes my friend this again is well done a great description of a shocking scene using the 5/7/5 form which you have got down to an art I enjoyed regards Jill

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2017


reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
    Thank you, Jill, you are very kind and I appreciate your review and feedback.
    Gypsy hugs
Comment from DR DIP
Excellent
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once again your 3 lines say it all I am amazed how haiku can do that Its like you can read between the lines and expand on the theme quite easily even with your explanation of betrayal in your author's notes I knew where you were going with this one.
Thanks for sharing

dip

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2017


reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
    Thank you, Dr Dip, you are very kind and I appreciate your review and feedback.
    Gypsy
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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I like the way you've made the "Connection" with that well known saying as a satori and the first two lines, this is clever. The genius in haiku, of course is the inspired connection of things that fit, and the final result, that's why it's clever, it's what a poet looks for. Well done, blessings, Roy

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2017


reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
    Thank you, Roy, you are very kind and I appreciate your review and feedback.
    Gypsy hugs
reply by royowen on 27-Jun-2017
    Well done Gypsy,
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Excellent
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This speaks a specific feeling and emotion on bed, on their bed at dawn his grip around her neck appears misunderstood in a drowsy moment of watching; a natural feeling highlighted; I liked.

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2017


reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
    Thank you, you are very kind and I appreciate your review and feedback.
    Gypsy
Comment from kiwigirl2821
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Hi Gypsy. This one makes a lot of sense. The true horror of life can often be the one closest to you. Imagine being a young crazy girl totally falls so deep a digger won't get them out only to figure out it was not "love" for him only a deep satisfaction of having a regular .... in his bed. Horror indeed! Great work. xoxo Kiwi

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 Comment Written 27-Jun-2017


reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
    Thank you, kiwi, you are very kind and I appreciate your review and feedback.
    Gypsy hugs
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Excellent
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A very well-written horror haiku. When the one we trust the most turn against us and try to hurt us, we know they were not our friend in the first place. Rather walk away before ending up dead.

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 Comment Written 27-Jun-2017


reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
    Thank you, Sandra, you are very kind and I appreciate your review and feedback.
    Gypsy hugs
Comment from Hitcher
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

They are indeed and the worst kind of betrayal too friend. This little offering highlights the screams of a terror too many have choked out of them while evil acts are carried out... by those who are meant to love and protect.

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2017


reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
    Thank you, Wayne, you are very kind and I appreciate your review and feedback. Thank you for the six stars.
    Gypsy hugs
Comment from Ulla
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hola guapa, here goes my last six. This is an outstanding haiku, and horror stands out in every word. That is indeed the ultimate betrayal. Un abrazo de tu amiga Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2017


reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
    Thank you, Ulla, you are very kind and I appreciate your review and six stars.
    Gypsy hugs