The Window
Can Darkness Expunge the Light?90 total reviews
Comment from pbomar1115
Because of the image and words, I regard the poem in a certain way. Many times I have viewed others from my window but did not come to a conclusion that it was a likeness of me or me of it. Not until I read this poem. As a matter of fact, I now see people who I get along with in important ways. For example, it takes a village. The saying means it take the larger group to make the lesser or few to conform.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
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Because of the image and words, I regard the poem in a certain way. Many times I have viewed others from my window but did not come to a conclusion that it was a likeness of me or me of it. Not until I read this poem. As a matter of fact, I now see people who I get along with in important ways. For example, it takes a village. The saying means it take the larger group to make the lesser or few to conform.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
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I've never had so many and varied interpretations of anything I've written than on this poem, pbomar1115. Yours is beautiful and takes it to a direction I hadn't thought about. Thank you for so generously explaining it, and OF COURSE for the six stars.
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Thanks, Jay.
Phillip
Comment from rjuselius
i must be very thick but i just don't get this dear jay.. i realize that the window works both way. from one hunger to the next, so to speak.
thank you for sharing!
blessings and a big squeeze!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
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i must be very thick but i just don't get this dear jay.. i realize that the window works both way. from one hunger to the next, so to speak.
thank you for sharing!
blessings and a big squeeze!
rebekka x
Comment Written 11-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
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Thank you so much for just reading and responding, Rebekka. The interpretations have been personal and varied to the max! Like I said to others here, it appears I created a verbal Rorschach Test. If you have time take a look at some of the responses. I accept your squeeze and the generous response. Blessings, Jay
Comment from Sis Cat
Another excellent poem, Jay. You show your chops at writing poems that grip and tell a story with few words. You also leave much to the reader's imagination. I imagine the sudden death of a man from a fall from a tree or a heart attack. I also thought about people leaping from the plane-damaged World Trade Center. His death led to her social death when she drew the blinds and "proved it is I who fell."
This is a strong, evocative poem that excites the imagination and moves the heart.
Thank you for sharing. I wish you success in the contest.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
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Another excellent poem, Jay. You show your chops at writing poems that grip and tell a story with few words. You also leave much to the reader's imagination. I imagine the sudden death of a man from a fall from a tree or a heart attack. I also thought about people leaping from the plane-damaged World Trade Center. His death led to her social death when she drew the blinds and "proved it is I who fell."
This is a strong, evocative poem that excites the imagination and moves the heart.
Thank you for sharing. I wish you success in the contest.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
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I like your interpretation better, Andre. If there is any value to this poem, it is that it's a sort of verbal Rorschach test. Yours suggest more a social anguish, mine more personal. Both follow the thematic dictum of "No Man Is and Island." Once again, you find me not lacking in supra-praise for your kind words, but lacking in "Thumbs up" nominations. Next best thing is to award you one next month. You are on the list for July. God bless, my friend, for the sixer and for your generous review.
Jay
Comment from Fridayauthor
This is a poem that must be read more than once. It says so much in so few words. I enjoyed it.
I really liked the image you chose. It fits your verse very well.
Best of luck with the contest, Jay.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
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This is a poem that must be read more than once. It says so much in so few words. I enjoyed it.
I really liked the image you chose. It fits your verse very well.
Best of luck with the contest, Jay.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
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Thanks, Ray. I'm glad you enjoyed reading this.
Here's the final tally. My granddaughter and grandson will be accompanying me. I'm assuming a bed in each of the two rooms, so I'll have my grandson bring a sleeping bag. We should be leaving Friday morning for a leisurely drive . I believe you told me there's a showing of your reading on Friday? If so, that would be the one we'll be attending. Then, after a visit Saturday, we'll be leaving in the afternoon. Never works out like we both plan for, does it? But I'd be tarred and feathered if I didn't come back for Father's Day. Ohhhhh, but they love their daddy/granddaddy!
Comment from bookishfabler
I don't know if I haven't had enough coffee, but I am unclear of this meaning. I think it reads well, and I see the picture, but I'm a bit confused. Thanks for sharing.
hugs Heidi
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
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I don't know if I haven't had enough coffee, but I am unclear of this meaning. I think it reads well, and I see the picture, but I'm a bit confused. Thanks for sharing.
hugs Heidi
Comment Written 11-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
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It had to be open-ended, Heidi. I don't possess the genius to make the meaning clear, and hum-able at the same time. But here was my vision: I am standing at an open window, and witness on the street below a person FALLING to an attack/having a heart attack, etc. Is he murdered (?)/alive, but in pain (?) ... The important point: I close the blinds and latch the door to keep away from the reality of it, or keep the reality of it away from me. If you read the other reviews, you'd find there are other ... even better takes on it than mine. Like I told Sis Cat, it's turned into a kind of verbal Rorschach test. THanks, Heidi, for reading it and your generous rating.
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Thank you for your help. I might not have been awake enough to think. LOL'
hugs Heidi
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Knowing the caliber of your thinking, it must be the lack of joe.
Comment from JW
Thanks for sharing this interesting poem. I'm not sure I fully understand the meaning, but I do recognize it's deep and well written. JW.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
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Thanks for sharing this interesting poem. I'm not sure I fully understand the meaning, but I do recognize it's deep and well written. JW.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
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Many thanks, JW. I appreciate your reading it.
Comment from alf collier
As always, I am entranced by your writes!!! I love show not tell, and you accomplish this with the mastery of your craft!! Bravo!!
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
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As always, I am entranced by your writes!!! I love show not tell, and you accomplish this with the mastery of your craft!! Bravo!!
Comment Written 11-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
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Bless you, Alf! You are so generous and kind!
Comment from Delahay
Well, I hope I'm interpreting this correctly. Or I could be reading more into it than there is. This sounds like a person witnesses a crime who decides to pretend they saw nothing. In deciding to see nothing, they become part of the problem. Am I close?
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
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Well, I hope I'm interpreting this correctly. Or I could be reading more into it than there is. This sounds like a person witnesses a crime who decides to pretend they saw nothing. In deciding to see nothing, they become part of the problem. Am I close?
Comment Written 11-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
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Bingo! That's precisely what I intended in writing it, Ward, but there have been too many great other responses not to give them their due. It was open-ended, intentionally, and boy did I reap the rewards of interpretation. I loved hearing yours. It means our thinking is alike. Scary for you, but I can live with it.
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I think I'll manage too.
Comment from kiwisteveh
very clever cinquain, Jay.
The form is spot on and the presentation is nice, but neither of those is really difficult! What I enjoyed was the philosophy behind this piece - the message that if we look on and do nothing about a wrong, we are as guilty as those who committed it. The words could apply to a thousand things and are a potent reminder, especially in troubled times, to be a participant rather than merely an observer.
Steve
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
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very clever cinquain, Jay.
The form is spot on and the presentation is nice, but neither of those is really difficult! What I enjoyed was the philosophy behind this piece - the message that if we look on and do nothing about a wrong, we are as guilty as those who committed it. The words could apply to a thousand things and are a potent reminder, especially in troubled times, to be a participant rather than merely an observer.
Steve
Comment Written 11-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
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Great job, Steve! At least with matching your interpretation with my intended one. I'll bet there have been at least a dozen entirely different ones, though, and each could be correct from the clues given in the poem. And some were brilliant. Who am I to say they are wrong and I am right? Kind of like a Rorschach Test, eh? It's good to know some have a thought process akin to mine. You and I, Steve ... We'll go far!
Comment from RGstar
Jay, I wrote this review yesterday, and looked for it today. First it was there, and next thing deleted.
My friend, I wondered about the word ''proved''
Understandably not wanting to use ''was'' twice, but it also brings "it" out of play and brings in ''was'' "proved it was I who fell''
If I am correct in what you are saying for I looked at it many times as I like the projection of this... well thought out indeed, but just couldn't get past ''prove'' as well ''it'' in conjunction with prove.
A better word may have been ''realized'' "realized it was I who fell" but then the syllable count would be out for this type of write.
I don't know, perhaps just my interpretation of not seeing it right, but I hope you can see what I mean, for it is a strong contender if read properly.
Best wishes, my friend.
Good luck.
RG
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
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Jay, I wrote this review yesterday, and looked for it today. First it was there, and next thing deleted.
My friend, I wondered about the word ''proved''
Understandably not wanting to use ''was'' twice, but it also brings "it" out of play and brings in ''was'' "proved it was I who fell''
If I am correct in what you are saying for I looked at it many times as I like the projection of this... well thought out indeed, but just couldn't get past ''prove'' as well ''it'' in conjunction with prove.
A better word may have been ''realized'' "realized it was I who fell" but then the syllable count would be out for this type of write.
I don't know, perhaps just my interpretation of not seeing it right, but I hope you can see what I mean, for it is a strong contender if read properly.
Best wishes, my friend.
Good luck.
RG
Comment Written 11-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
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Bless you, RG, for taking this poem to that level of critique. In all honesty, "prove" wasn't my favored choice. I remember scratching my head after studying it and even going to a synonym finder (which I use as a last resort). Again, you are right about the syllabication. That was a problem. Give me enough words, syllables and time, and I can find the perfect slotting.
Since I like the overall flow and message in the poem, but agree with you on "prove," I shall go back to it after the contest concludes and I can have some distance from it.
Again, my friend, you've outperformed yourself. Your name will go on my list for July's Thumbs up, but I've run out of 'em for this month. You certainly are deserving.
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You are such a good writer, my friend that it is never a critique, good or bad, for it is only another way, as one never knows what the author has in mind and there are 100 ways to think, so good always to enquire....however, so happy we are thinking along the same lines.
Kudos to you for showing that talent agaoin, both as a listener, as well the fine writer you are.
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I can't think of a mind I'd rather align with.
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Great choice, jay.
Wish you luck with this....good inspirational thought.
RG
