The Tap Dancer
Free verse within a Pantoum structure35 total reviews
Comment from ~Dovey
Hi Tony!
This is so........ Original! I love it! It is expressive and boisterous, a cacophony of joyful sound! You are claiming free verse, and that is right, but there is plenty of internal rhyme in there to rhythmically move the poem down the page. Or should I say your words were tap dancing down the page?
Whether it is Pantoum or free verse... I say it is FANTASTIC!!
Kim
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2017
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Hi Tony!
This is so........ Original! I love it! It is expressive and boisterous, a cacophony of joyful sound! You are claiming free verse, and that is right, but there is plenty of internal rhyme in there to rhythmically move the poem down the page. Or should I say your words were tap dancing down the page?
Whether it is Pantoum or free verse... I say it is FANTASTIC!!
Kim
Comment Written 20-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2017
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Thanks, Kim. I wasn't sure how well this one worked and am glad to have your affirmation. Best wishes, Tony.
p.s. I'm still chuckling over your recent sonnet!
Comment from damommy
No, enroll is correct. 8-)
I like this very much. I think you've created your own form. I didn't quite know where it was headed, but as I read on, I could see it better.
I think you described it very well - free verse in Pantoum form.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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No, enroll is correct. 8-)
I like this very much. I think you've created your own form. I didn't quite know where it was headed, but as I read on, I could see it better.
I think you described it very well - free verse in Pantoum form.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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Thanks, Yvonne. Trusty Google suggested enroll as an American preferred spelling and enrol as the British/Australian preference.
Unusual, as most American spellings are simpler than the UK ones, using fewer letters, not more!
Comment from lyenochka
You should call it Tony's Pantoum. What I love about it as after I saw Gene Kelly's picture, the poem pulled me into a dance rhythm that mimicked the tap dance. It would work well as a cacophony poem as well. I like that we're in two levels, the one of the mind and the one of the feet.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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You should call it Tony's Pantoum. What I love about it as after I saw Gene Kelly's picture, the poem pulled me into a dance rhythm that mimicked the tap dance. It would work well as a cacophony poem as well. I like that we're in two levels, the one of the mind and the one of the feet.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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Thanks Lyenochka. I would certainly be a cacophony dance if I was the one dancing it! I appreciate the six stars. Many thanks! LOL
Comment from His Grayness
Wishing I had six stars for this poetic lesson alone! Given that I'm not really savvy about this poetic style, I can only vote for the positive energy it delivers and the overall delightful presentation. Many thanks to this author for the fun! HIS GRAYNESS
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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Wishing I had six stars for this poetic lesson alone! Given that I'm not really savvy about this poetic style, I can only vote for the positive energy it delivers and the overall delightful presentation. Many thanks to this author for the fun! HIS GRAYNESS
Comment Written 20-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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Very many thanks for your kind review, Vance and the suggestion that this one was worth a six. Most affirming. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from nuthead
I admire you twisting and pushing the limits with this form. That's a true poet in my eyes. Do not conform: transform!
Love the image. How fitting.
Great use of repetition, alliteration and onomatopoeia to bring this clap-clapping, tap-dancin' ditty to life.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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I admire you twisting and pushing the limits with this form. That's a true poet in my eyes. Do not conform: transform!
Love the image. How fitting.
Great use of repetition, alliteration and onomatopoeia to bring this clap-clapping, tap-dancin' ditty to life.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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Many thanks, Shirley. I like that! Do not conform: transform! It is all too easy to continue writing within a comfort zone, but nothing very much comes of it.
Comment from sunnilicious
Fred Astaire was an amazing dancer and actor. Very loved by audiences and his family. I watched a documentary on him a year or two back. Great poem to commemorate a Hollywood Great. Well thought out and nicely written. You got the tap shoes spirit down right. Nice work.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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Fred Astaire was an amazing dancer and actor. Very loved by audiences and his family. I watched a documentary on him a year or two back. Great poem to commemorate a Hollywood Great. Well thought out and nicely written. You got the tap shoes spirit down right. Nice work.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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Very many thanks, Sunnilicious. As you say, Fred Astaire was one of the all-time greats. Always pushing boundaries and breaking new ground.
Comment from Nikki-Nicole
'The Tap Dancer' is a very nice poem.
It has rhythm.
--I enjoyed reading it. I like it.
Great artwork: The image shown is perfect for this poem.
Thanks for sharing.
Good luck with your future writing!
-Nicole-
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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'The Tap Dancer' is a very nice poem.
It has rhythm.
--I enjoyed reading it. I like it.
Great artwork: The image shown is perfect for this poem.
Thanks for sharing.
Good luck with your future writing!
-Nicole-
Comment Written 20-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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Many thanks for your kind review, Nikki, and noting the rhythmic qualities of this poem. Appreciated. Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from Pantygynt
Now this really is playing with form. Are those last two lines aimed at the poor reviewer?
This is probably nearer to the original Malayan pantun than you realise. Plus ca change plus ca le meme chose.
I had to copy this back into Word and number the lines before I could check it for accuracy of form. It is spot on as far as far as the main body is concerned. There seems to be a difference of opinion on the line order of the finall stanza which is probably down to the desire to create a final stanza of two rhyming couplets in the the rhyming versions but as long as those four lines get in there somehow I have no opinion. the main thing is that everything gets mentioned twice and the first line repeats as the last.
This poem would make a good question in a poetry quiz, and I doubt if many would recognize it as a pantoum. Very creative. Go to the top of the class and you can have next week off.
The logic of your argument is unassailable.
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2017
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Now this really is playing with form. Are those last two lines aimed at the poor reviewer?
This is probably nearer to the original Malayan pantun than you realise. Plus ca change plus ca le meme chose.
I had to copy this back into Word and number the lines before I could check it for accuracy of form. It is spot on as far as far as the main body is concerned. There seems to be a difference of opinion on the line order of the finall stanza which is probably down to the desire to create a final stanza of two rhyming couplets in the the rhyming versions but as long as those four lines get in there somehow I have no opinion. the main thing is that everything gets mentioned twice and the first line repeats as the last.
This poem would make a good question in a poetry quiz, and I doubt if many would recognize it as a pantoum. Very creative. Go to the top of the class and you can have next week off.
The logic of your argument is unassailable.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2017
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Many thanks for your review of this and the six stars, Jim. Much appreciated. Thanks, too, for setting up the challenge. It was an interesting one. I've just been re-reading the blank verse version of my last assignment and realise that line six is a bit of a dog's breakfast. I've now changed it to "in spirals catch the sun on wings outspread".
Comment from strandregs
where my heart skip-hops and stops
going blankety-blank.
This is good fun.
Very interesting conglomeration.
is it a free verse course
or a free verse course?
The steam was a little hot for me.
Channel that steam coming out of your ears.
you can run a turbine to pluck the chikens.:-)) Z.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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where my heart skip-hops and stops
going blankety-blank.
This is good fun.
Very interesting conglomeration.
is it a free verse course
or a free verse course?
The steam was a little hot for me.
Channel that steam coming out of your ears.
you can run a turbine to pluck the chikens.:-)) Z.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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Many thanks for your review, Z. As always, entertaining! Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from Mustang Patty
thank you for sharing your intriguing poem, along with your questions. I imagine that there was quite a lovely discussion in Pantygynt's class on this subject. Whether the form has been stretched too much or not - this piece read well, and was in rhythm with the tap dance. Your presentation helped to make a vision in the head. With each change in your words, the dancing changed in tenor. Well done. By the way, I think the stretching doesn't necessarily make it a free verse - but I didn't take the class ð???
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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thank you for sharing your intriguing poem, along with your questions. I imagine that there was quite a lovely discussion in Pantygynt's class on this subject. Whether the form has been stretched too much or not - this piece read well, and was in rhythm with the tap dance. Your presentation helped to make a vision in the head. With each change in your words, the dancing changed in tenor. Well done. By the way, I think the stretching doesn't necessarily make it a free verse - but I didn't take the class ð???
Comment Written 20-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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Thanks for reviewing this one, Patty. As you say, it made for an interesting discussion. The border between poetry written to a prescribed form and free verse can get a bit hazy at times! I didn't really think that this qualified as free verse, because what I wanted to say was constrained by the form. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but it reduces the freedom!
