Poetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "Dreams are made possible"Words to pass on to my children
28 total reviews
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for the reminder and exhortation to celebrate our own "uniqueness". I admired your use of alliteration to accentuate your message and original phrases like "be a willing beginner". Best wishes in the Free Verse contest- Joan
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2016
Thank you for the reminder and exhortation to celebrate our own "uniqueness". I admired your use of alliteration to accentuate your message and original phrases like "be a willing beginner". Best wishes in the Free Verse contest- Joan
Comment Written 11-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2016
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Thank you so much Joan for your exceptional rating of my free verse poem, I really appreciate it. Mary
Comment from Pantygynt
A fine piece of free verse that uses a number of poetic devices to get its message across. The most salient feature of the poem is the use of repeated use of gerunds in exemplifying the reasons for statements made, to the extent that this practice almost defines the unity of the piece.
The last use of a word ending in -ing is however not a gerund but a present participle, "finding" in the last stanza a classic case of a present participle used after verb of perception "to wonder".
This is a well constructed poem, might have benefited from a bit more of the beauty that it mentions. It all seems somewhat clinical to me.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2016
A fine piece of free verse that uses a number of poetic devices to get its message across. The most salient feature of the poem is the use of repeated use of gerunds in exemplifying the reasons for statements made, to the extent that this practice almost defines the unity of the piece.
The last use of a word ending in -ing is however not a gerund but a present participle, "finding" in the last stanza a classic case of a present participle used after verb of perception "to wonder".
This is a well constructed poem, might have benefited from a bit more of the beauty that it mentions. It all seems somewhat clinical to me.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2016
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Thank you for your excellent review. I feel the beauty that you think it lacks has to be in the reader suggested by the poem. Mary
Comment from William Ross
very good, Nicely done on the free verse. dreams are made possible everyday for those willing to reach out and try. Good luck on this and have a great day
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2016
very good, Nicely done on the free verse. dreams are made possible everyday for those willing to reach out and try. Good luck on this and have a great day
Comment Written 11-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2016
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Thanks Willia, Mary
Comment from valmay
I loved this, and found it uplifting. People are unique and deserve to be treated well. I think we all know it, but as you pointed out so beautifully we have to believe it about ourselves first. Thank you
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2016
I loved this, and found it uplifting. People are unique and deserve to be treated well. I think we all know it, but as you pointed out so beautifully we have to believe it about ourselves first. Thank you
Comment Written 11-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2016
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Thanks valmay for a lovely review with great comments. Mary
Comment from Heather Knight
This is absolutely beautiful, Mary. Even though it's free verse, the sound is perfect and so are the words and the content.
I like the presentation very much.
Just one thing: where you wrote distance stars, shouldn't it be distant stars?
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2016
This is absolutely beautiful, Mary. Even though it's free verse, the sound is perfect and so are the words and the content.
I like the presentation very much.
Just one thing: where you wrote distance stars, shouldn't it be distant stars?
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2016
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Thanks Maria for your review and for the typo tipp. Mary
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written free verse poem. We can have dreams and make them true one by one, if we believe in our own abilities and are willing to learn to do new things.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2016
A very well-written free verse poem. We can have dreams and make them true one by one, if we believe in our own abilities and are willing to learn to do new things.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2016
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Thanks Sandra I appreciate your great review. Mary
Comment from Lloyd T. Okoko
The objective correlative of the poem epitomises the uniqueness of man and his inherent potential of achieving all that he sets out to achieve.
The work earns its texture through the use of metaphor. Excellent work. Bravo!
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reply by the author on 11-Nov-2016
The objective correlative of the poem epitomises the uniqueness of man and his inherent potential of achieving all that he sets out to achieve.
The work earns its texture through the use of metaphor. Excellent work. Bravo!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2016
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Thanks LLoyd for your excellent review and great comments. Mary
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Remain Blessed!
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Well written poem that reminds sometimes what really holds a people back is they limit what they can do, restrain the possibilities that without those chains they could achieve, and be so much more.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2016
Well written poem that reminds sometimes what really holds a people back is they limit what they can do, restrain the possibilities that without those chains they could achieve, and be so much more.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2016
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Thanks Brett for your excellent review. Mary