THE TRINING Book Three
Viewing comments for Chapter 34 "Kyre's Play and the Pliancy of Time"JOURNEY INTO REDEMPTION
39 total reviews
Comment from Crennan87
I have not had the pleasure of reading any of your other work, but I believe you are incredibly talented. You did a wonderful job of explaining without making it overwhelming to your story. I felt like I was watching a movie, like I could see the characters in my head.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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I have not had the pleasure of reading any of your other work, but I believe you are incredibly talented. You did a wonderful job of explaining without making it overwhelming to your story. I felt like I was watching a movie, like I could see the characters in my head.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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You couldn't have given me a better compliment than to say you saw the characters in your head. Thank you my friend.
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Another solid post, Jay. Lots for the reader to ponder and puzzle over.
I hunched like a slug in front of the chair - great visual
What if I refuse to take part in the battle with Rhuether(?)" - needs question mark.
a god who could become a bird, then transform himself to an arrogant, near-middle-aged, jellybean-popping psychologist - brilliant!
Love the playing with time. Cleverly done.
He grinned and touched his fingertips to his brow, offering a flamboyant salute."You are a good student, my son." - He's quite the character, this guy. I like him. I bet he's fun to write. :)
Look forward to the next!
Av
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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Another solid post, Jay. Lots for the reader to ponder and puzzle over.
I hunched like a slug in front of the chair - great visual
What if I refuse to take part in the battle with Rhuether(?)" - needs question mark.
a god who could become a bird, then transform himself to an arrogant, near-middle-aged, jellybean-popping psychologist - brilliant!
Love the playing with time. Cleverly done.
He grinned and touched his fingertips to his brow, offering a flamboyant salute."You are a good student, my son." - He's quite the character, this guy. I like him. I bet he's fun to write. :)
Look forward to the next!
Av
Comment Written 20-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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Geez! Thank you, Av. for the six stars and the lovely review. You're right about Kyre. But you and I are the only ones who like him. And yes, he was fun to write. I'll take care of that question mark. I do that so often. Bless you, Av.
Comment from TDWriter
WOW... Im impressed! Now I can understand why you are rated as an accomplished Novelist. What can I add to this. I can only say thank you for sharing your talent and vision with us.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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WOW... Im impressed! Now I can understand why you are rated as an accomplished Novelist. What can I add to this. I can only say thank you for sharing your talent and vision with us.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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You are too kind, my friend. Thank you so much for reading. I'm thrilled you enjoyed it and hope you return.
Comment from krprice
Excellent post.
You have put together quite a mystery for us to think about, wondering how this will all end, wondering if Docterex and Axtilla will be together again.
Karlene
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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Excellent post.
You have put together quite a mystery for us to think about, wondering how this will all end, wondering if Docterex and Axtilla will be together again.
Karlene
Comment Written 20-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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You should find your answer in the next couple of chapters. Thanks, Karlene.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
The jellybean idea is wonderful and very creative. So Kyre is also controlling time. Also very creative. Good job. I can't wait for more.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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The jellybean idea is wonderful and very creative. So Kyre is also controlling time. Also very creative. Good job. I can't wait for more.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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Thanks, Barbara. Not too many chapters to go before Book III tucks in its tail and let's Jay get started on a massive edit.
Comment from barkingdog
What can I say, Jay. You are a master storyteller. I have a feeling that Axtilla didn't die. Is much of this a dream being created by Kyle? or is it Doctrex's dream and he created Kyle? Just a thought. haha
Doctrex's grief feels real, but will the dream end might he wake to find Axtilla alive and an active part of overthrowing Rhuether?
Needless to say, I felt like I was in another dimension.
Need the next chapter.
:) ellen
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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What can I say, Jay. You are a master storyteller. I have a feeling that Axtilla didn't die. Is much of this a dream being created by Kyle? or is it Doctrex's dream and he created Kyle? Just a thought. haha
Doctrex's grief feels real, but will the dream end might he wake to find Axtilla alive and an active part of overthrowing Rhuether?
Needless to say, I felt like I was in another dimension.
Need the next chapter.
:) ellen
Comment Written 20-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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All good thoughts, Ellen. Dreams inside of dreams inside of ... who knows. Glad you enjoyed the other dimension you were visiting for a while. Bless you for the six stars.
Comment from Johnathan Sechrist
That was amazingly written. The conversation, their reactions to one another. Pondria's emotions. It was a pleasure to read.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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That was amazingly written. The conversation, their reactions to one another. Pondria's emotions. It was a pleasure to read.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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I was thrilled you enjoyed it, Johnathan. And thank you so much for the six stars. You've made my day!
Comment from royowen
I wish sometimes wish I could have this dialogue with God sometimes, but in the answer I always get is, trust me, have faith, be courageous. No solid answers, what's a god doing having dialogue with a mortal? Don't answer Jay, this is a good episode, and you're probably drawing on your theological knowledge anyway. Well done, a clever, creative episode, great scribing, blessings, Roy.
Typo : it's true that I communicated more than the (reminder) of her purpose. remainder?
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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I wish sometimes wish I could have this dialogue with God sometimes, but in the answer I always get is, trust me, have faith, be courageous. No solid answers, what's a god doing having dialogue with a mortal? Don't answer Jay, this is a good episode, and you're probably drawing on your theological knowledge anyway. Well done, a clever, creative episode, great scribing, blessings, Roy.
Typo : it's true that I communicated more than the (reminder) of her purpose. remainder?
Comment Written 20-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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Thanks for reading so closely, Roy. Actually, though, it wasn't a typo. Kyre was saying that in her sleep vision he was communicating more than reminding her of her purpose. Well, you say, why didn't you say it that way, instead of being so high-falutin'? Because ... Kyre's a god and I let him talk the way he wants to. LOL, thanks though. I make enough goofs for any three writers.
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No you don't, you very rarely make a spat or typo Jay, you're incredibly fastidious my friend
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Jay
= So, Doctrex is going to follow through with his destiny, and it would appear as it the time is near.
= Good chapter.
<> The = i = in ... in my room---- needs to be ITALICIZED.
=Sure! Earlier, in my room, she kept calling
<> You may want to consider rearranging to delete at least one =THAT=
= In fact, it was only after that, with her fantasy destroyed, that she fell into her sleep."
<> FYI <>
= Don't know if you watch for these, but I ran your chapter through Editminion.com, FREE editing software. Here is a readout.
14 Adverbs
6 weak words
3 passive words
4 'said' alternatives
4 end with preposition
(*<*) A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside-Down (*>*)
Cheers & Blessings ... Jacqueline ~ Jackie ~ Jax
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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Hi, Jay
= So, Doctrex is going to follow through with his destiny, and it would appear as it the time is near.
= Good chapter.
<> The = i = in ... in my room---- needs to be ITALICIZED.
=Sure! Earlier, in my room, she kept calling
<> You may want to consider rearranging to delete at least one =THAT=
= In fact, it was only after that, with her fantasy destroyed, that she fell into her sleep."
<> FYI <>
= Don't know if you watch for these, but I ran your chapter through Editminion.com, FREE editing software. Here is a readout.
14 Adverbs
6 weak words
3 passive words
4 'said' alternatives
4 end with preposition
(*<*) A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside-Down (*>*)
Cheers & Blessings ... Jacqueline ~ Jackie ~ Jax
Comment Written 20-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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Thanks, Jax. You're the second person who spotted that lonely "i". I'll take care of it.
How about, "In fact, it was only afterwards, with her fantasy destroyed, that she fell into her sleep." That sounds better to me. THANKS.
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You're very welcome. (*<*)
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Jay. Brilliant chapter again mate.
"he felt beside his chair for the jar of Jellybeans and brought it to his lap." (Beautiful. I was waiting for the jelly beans after I enjoyed them so much in the last chapter.)
This is really good stuff mate. I like a book that makes me think and this one does. You also teach me different ways to for phrases and words that I would never have thought of using, with each chapter I read.
Very well done again Sir.
Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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G'day Jay. Brilliant chapter again mate.
"he felt beside his chair for the jar of Jellybeans and brought it to his lap." (Beautiful. I was waiting for the jelly beans after I enjoyed them so much in the last chapter.)
This is really good stuff mate. I like a book that makes me think and this one does. You also teach me different ways to for phrases and words that I would never have thought of using, with each chapter I read.
Very well done again Sir.
Cheers Fez
Comment Written 20-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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Thank you Fez. You made my day with your fine review. I had even envisioned having Kyre melt into a gob of jellybean goo, but I thought that would just be carrying fun too far. God Bless, my friend.
