Comment from Jay Squires

Excellent

Hey, Shari. Excellent recap of last post leading to the conclusion and a happy ending. I'm afraid I'm a tad lost, though, on what you mean about "Jeff and Nichole's way of getting back." It's just a little vague to me.

 Comment Written 15-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Mar-2016

As it should be, Jay. You'll have to wait and see. Actually, this was an insight that came to me as I wrote. I suspect the deviant behavior yet to come has nothing to do with the purse incident.

Comment from CivilChick

Excellent

This is well written. The grammar, punctuation, and spelling are good, which is not something that a lot of authors seem to bother themselves about! The only problem is that it was not that interesting to me. I don't care to read about shopping and I think the most unique thing on the island is the buffalo which weren't even mentioned!

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 Comment Written 15-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Mar-2016

You're right about the buffalo, but I didn't intend it to be a travelogue. The point of the story is the interaction of the characters and the "miracle" find of my purse.
I have to wonder what kept you reading if you found it of no interest to you.

reply by CivilChick on 16-Mar-2016

I changed the ranking to 5 starts since it bothered you so much that you found it necessary to post on my profile page. Rest assured I will not offer you a review again. I thought we were supposed to be honest, and I believe part of a ranking of a story is interest level, but clearly you disagree. I could not find a way to remove my review, so I bumped it up instead.

reply by the author on 16-Mar-2016

I don't mind a four if the review offers suggestions for improvement. If interest level is low then do I need a better hook? More dialogue? Shorter sentences. There's a lot of well-written science fiction and fantasy on here, both genres bore me, so I skip them.
Sorry to be so disagreeable. I'm not usually that sensitive. I can't even blame a bad hair day. I guess it's because I put so much time and effort into a piece-- and trust me, time is not easy to find when you're a caregiver for Hubby of fifty years.
For me, the point of reviews to help one hone his/her writing skills. Enough said.
Appreciate the gesture. I plan to write an essay when time permits on exactly what a critique is. Advice I learned from a published author who has worked with professional editors for over thirty years.
(I felt mean after posting it and am glad you could wipe it from your profile page.)

reply by CivilChick on 16-Mar-2016

It isn't the topic that bored me. I have been to Catalina and I thoroughly enjoyed the island. I have lost my purse, phone, and other items. I can relate to both topics. This was not a case of me having no interest in the topic.

Here are the specific comments you want:
-You said it wasn't a travelogue, but you spent the first few paragraphs making it that. It took too long to get the point of the story. And, now having gone back to the previous chapter, you had already started the story, which was written much better than this revised version because it was got to the point without needing to describe each purchase you made.
-I have no idea what you mean by ?Alas, he chooses American Express, not Visa or Mastercard.? What does his choice of what to pull out of his wallet have to do with anything? Do you mean he only has that in his wallet, while you only have Visa/Mastercard? Regardless, what matters is the bank from which it is issued, not the brand of card in terms of reporting it stolen.
-When you say you tumbled out of a cab, I imagine people tripping and falling out of the cab like a bunch of clowns...which clearly was not the case.

I joined this website because I enjoy reading and writing and helping others. My time is also torn in several directions, as I have two jobs and a husband who is deployed making all household duties my responsibility?trust me all have our own issues. I didn?t join so that I could be attacked by writers wanting more stars. I am not sure why 4 starts meaning ?GOOD? is a bad thing. If everyone is just giving out 5 or 6 stars because that is expected, then I doubt I am going to be able to get much help on improving my own work on this site.

The thing about writing is you really have to mean it. It isn?t words that slip out of your mouth in the moment. You seriously thought about what you put on my profile because you had already responded to my review and instead of asking for specifics, you provided a flippant reply and then a day or two later posted your rude comment on my profile while everyone else was being so welcoming?and FYI I had given another one of those kind people four stars on a piece and she didn?t feel the need to post a nasty comment for the entire site to see.

As I said before I will never read another of your submissions again, so you don?t have to worry about me ranking you lower than EXCELLENT in the future. I adjusted your rating to 5 starts despite it being higher than I think it deserves (I would have preferred to delete my review altogether, but there is no option for that). I would rather do that than compromise my own ethical beliefs, but I don?t need another writer on the site stalking my profile and leaving nasty comments, so hopefully this will keep you from doing that to me in the future. Now you should have everything you want from me, and in return, I ask you to just leave me alone.

reply by the author on 16-Mar-2016

Okay, now you gave good reasons. You can change my rating back to four.

reply by CivilChick on 16-Mar-2016

Please just stop. I am not changing it again.

Comment from Carolyn 'Deaton' Stephens

Excellent

Well done Shari,
So glad you got your purse back. The story does not
always end that way, but that day it did. I admired your
Calm spirit, it was like, well it is just material stuff anyway.
Give me sunshine and an ocean view and I'm happy.
:-) Carolyn

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 Comment Written 15-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Mar-2016

I love the way you put it--just material stuff. Spot on, Carolyn. Very insightful.