When Blood Collides
Viewing comments for Chapter 67 "Sisters Out of Sync, Part I"A family's love is tested.
22 total reviews
Comment from Jay Squires
That is always a blow when a family member has cancer and is given a death sentence by the doctor.
. I saved my dollars to buy big items llike a drawing kit. [misspell "like"]
(which my parents really couldn't really afford) [Really should probably ditch one of the "really's"]
particularly for Mom and Dad's affections. [ Shouldn't it be "Mom's and Dad's affections."? I think so.]
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2015
  |
That is always a blow when a family member has cancer and is given a death sentence by the doctor.
. I saved my dollars to buy big items llike a drawing kit. [misspell "like"]
(which my parents really couldn't really afford) [Really should probably ditch one of the "really's"]
particularly for Mom and Dad's affections. [ Shouldn't it be "Mom's and Dad's affections."? I think so.]
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2015
-
Yea! I can count on you for a good proof read. Would you believe spell check missed "Mom's" but I think you're right anyway.
Shari xx
Comment from Curly Girly
This was well written. No spags spotted. When you were young, you were very close. It is sad how time can change people. Popularity tends to come at a cost. It appears that Barb became quite self-absorbed, and the jealousy thing ruined a good sisterly relationship needlessly.
Nicole
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2015
|
This was well written. No spags spotted. When you were young, you were very close. It is sad how time can change people. Popularity tends to come at a cost. It appears that Barb became quite self-absorbed, and the jealousy thing ruined a good sisterly relationship needlessly.
Nicole
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2015
-
Your analysis is spot on, Nicole. Thanks a bunch.
