Seems Reasonable
60 Word Story23 total reviews
Comment from meggie13
The man is probably I a coma, having an out of body experience. They think he is dead and want to pull the plug. He is begging not to do it because he is alive no one can hear him. They pull the plug and he finds himself in Heaven where believers go when they die. Well written with good imagery.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
  |
The man is probably I a coma, having an out of body experience. They think he is dead and want to pull the plug. He is begging not to do it because he is alive no one can hear him. They pull the plug and he finds himself in Heaven where believers go when they die. Well written with good imagery.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2015
Comment from Julia.
I do agree with your word count--60 words on the nose. Interesting take on the prompt, and still effective even though the entire story is a character's internal monologue. One minor suggestion is that you could probably eliminate all but the last series of ellipses and the story would read even better. Good luck in the contest!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
|
I do agree with your word count--60 words on the nose. Interesting take on the prompt, and still effective even though the entire story is a character's internal monologue. One minor suggestion is that you could probably eliminate all but the last series of ellipses and the story would read even better. Good luck in the contest!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2015
Comment from nordicgirl
This is so concise and free flowing. Yet, everything is put forth for the reader to.ponder. I do admit it does seem quite reasonable as you describe it, maybe more so than a complete cessastion of everything. Excellent piece. This may take home the win.
 |
This is so concise and free flowing. Yet, everything is put forth for the reader to.ponder. I do admit it does seem quite reasonable as you describe it, maybe more so than a complete cessastion of everything. Excellent piece. This may take home the win.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2015
