Ten Elephants
Elephants march to their sunset.56 total reviews
Comment from Zue65
Yes, your poem echoes the same freshness and the social spirit of concern for murdered elephants. The art work also reinforced your message well and you were able to drive well your message to the readers. An excellent write.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2015
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Yes, your poem echoes the same freshness and the social spirit of concern for murdered elephants. The art work also reinforced your message well and you were able to drive well your message to the readers. An excellent write.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2015
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Thank you for your kind review. I am humbled that you appreciate the social spirit of my poem and that the artwork reinforced my message.
Comment from Selina Stambi
I loved your creative take on the prompt. It is simple enough for a child to enjoy, and yet carries a strong and important message.
Reminded me, also of the poem Ten Little Monkeys Sitting In a Tree.
Very nicely done. Best wishes for the contest.
Sonali
Six elephants roamed where millions once .. I wonder if thousands would be more realistic ...
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2015
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I loved your creative take on the prompt. It is simple enough for a child to enjoy, and yet carries a strong and important message.
Reminded me, also of the poem Ten Little Monkeys Sitting In a Tree.
Very nicely done. Best wishes for the contest.
Sonali
Six elephants roamed where millions once .. I wonder if thousands would be more realistic ...
Comment Written 23-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2015
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Thank you for your kind review and contest well wishes. I, too, wondered if "thousands" would be more realistic even though the elephant population was once in the millions. I am making your suggested changes. I am glad my poem conveyed a strong message to you.
Comment from amahra
So sad. I thought sure I read somewhere that this poaching had stopped with all the animal rights that's in the world. People need to boycott things made of ivory. I think that will stop it. Thanks for posting. Very nice poem.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2015
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So sad. I thought sure I read somewhere that this poaching had stopped with all the animal rights that's in the world. People need to boycott things made of ivory. I think that will stop it. Thanks for posting. Very nice poem.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2015
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Thank you, amahra, for your kind review. Other reviewers have urged me to publish this poem in a journal to publicize the plight of poached elephants.
Comment from c_lucas
Your poem comments on a social issue of killing a species to extinction. This is well written with a interesting read, making for a sad social comment. There is good imagery.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2015
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Your poem comments on a social issue of killing a species to extinction. This is well written with a interesting read, making for a sad social comment. There is good imagery.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2015
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Thank you for your kind review. I wanted my count down poem to say something meaningful. I am humbledit moved you.
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You're welcome.
Comment from rstonerjr
So sad a tale shared by the white rhino as well. Tigers, great apes and so many more are being destroyed for superstitious mumbo jumbo and pelts. More people need to be made aware and often so I salute your work and hope it fairs well in the contest, B Robt.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2015
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So sad a tale shared by the white rhino as well. Tigers, great apes and so many more are being destroyed for superstitious mumbo jumbo and pelts. More people need to be made aware and often so I salute your work and hope it fairs well in the contest, B Robt.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2015
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Thank you, B Robt, for your kind review and contest well wishes. When I conducted research for this poem, the poaching techniques and photographs horrified me. I plan to publish this poem in a journal to bring more attention on poached animals. Thanks for the review.
Comment from Dawn Munro
I, too, read adewpearl's wonderful children's poem about elephants, and you've written the serious version - they are incredible beasts, and what's happened to them is deplorable. You must publish this most worthy poem - it's a powerful and wonderfully rhymed story of shame that should be shared, and shared again! Un-flippin' believable what horrors humanity has wrought! Kudos to you for sharing this story NO one seems to be heeding! (Or at least, not enough - when, if ever?!!)
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2015
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I, too, read adewpearl's wonderful children's poem about elephants, and you've written the serious version - they are incredible beasts, and what's happened to them is deplorable. You must publish this most worthy poem - it's a powerful and wonderfully rhymed story of shame that should be shared, and shared again! Un-flippin' believable what horrors humanity has wrought! Kudos to you for sharing this story NO one seems to be heeding! (Or at least, not enough - when, if ever?!!)
Comment Written 23-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2015
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Thank you, Dawn, for your kind review. Adewpearl's elephant countdown poem "Ten Elephants" saddened me by its omission--any mention of the real countdown happening now as elephants are poached to extinction. I will publish my poem and share the atrocities and the share of this crime.
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You're very welcome.
Comment from Donovan
There is always an argument that reality should not be hidden. I am not sure I would read this to my grandchildren for information about death. Many other subjects, I may. Your words are vivid and descriptions created haunting images. I laud you for taking on subjects that should be discussed.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2015
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There is always an argument that reality should not be hidden. I am not sure I would read this to my grandchildren for information about death. Many other subjects, I may. Your words are vivid and descriptions created haunting images. I laud you for taking on subjects that should be discussed.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2015
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Thank you, Donovan, for your kind review. Many adults are uncomfortable about discussing death with their children or grandchildren. My poem does not make it easier, but it is a subject people must discuss.
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Friend,
Charming piece of poetry beautifully depicting its theme - ten, nine and in the end none!
Wording is simple as well as impressive.
Smooth and captivating flow with lovely rhyming scheme and lively imagery.
Good Luck!
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2015
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Hello Friend,
Charming piece of poetry beautifully depicting its theme - ten, nine and in the end none!
Wording is simple as well as impressive.
Smooth and captivating flow with lovely rhyming scheme and lively imagery.
Good Luck!
Comment Written 23-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2015
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Thank you for your kind review and contest well wishes.
Comment from Delahay
This is such a sad tale you are telling us. The saddest part is the truth in it. It is so terrible that these magnificent animals are killed just for their tusks.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2015
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This is such a sad tale you are telling us. The saddest part is the truth in it. It is so terrible that these magnificent animals are killed just for their tusks.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2015
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Delahay, the methods poachers used to kill elephants shocked me. Anti-tank mines?! I am not making any this up. Google elephant poaching. Warning, the photos are graphic. Thank you for your kind six star review.
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Delahay, the methods poachers used to kill elephants shocked me. Anti-tank mines?! I am not making any this up. Google elephant poaching. Warning, the photos are graphic. Thank you for your kind six star review.
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Well written and great awareness in a sad situation. People are supposed to let the animals live. Elephants have a terrific spirit and memory. They have been abused in the circus and the wild. Greed destroys and money talks. Lives are destroyed for vanity? Why? Great rhymes and the countdown is fun. flylikeaneagle
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2015
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Well written and great awareness in a sad situation. People are supposed to let the animals live. Elephants have a terrific spirit and memory. They have been abused in the circus and the wild. Greed destroys and money talks. Lives are destroyed for vanity? Why? Great rhymes and the countdown is fun. flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 22-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2015
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Thank you, flylikeaneagle, for your kind review. I hear the facts of greed and vanity that lure some to poach elephants. I am horrified poachers might kill every last wild elephant.