Aluminum Splinters
Six sentence story44 total reviews
Comment from Dean Kuch
Baseball is a team effort. There is no "I" in "TEAM", or the word "BASEBALL". Everyone has something valuable to contribute, and in this case, these guys stepped up to the plate and showed it.
Great story, jmdg1954. It's that time of year again! Take me out to the ball game...
~Dean ;)
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2015
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Baseball is a team effort. There is no "I" in "TEAM", or the word "BASEBALL". Everyone has something valuable to contribute, and in this case, these guys stepped up to the plate and showed it.
Great story, jmdg1954. It's that time of year again! Take me out to the ball game...
~Dean ;)
Comment Written 07-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2015
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Dean, I don't know about you, but I love baseball. Even spring training. It begins to get me excited not only for the sport, but spring and summer follows...
Thank you for your time. Always appreciated. John
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I like what the coming of baseball season implies, John. Spring and summer is just around the corner. :)
Comment from c_lucas
In a tied game, everyone wins. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read. There is wonderful imagery. The kids playing their hearts out is branded in my soul.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2015
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In a tied game, everyone wins. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read. There is wonderful imagery. The kids playing their hearts out is branded in my soul.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2015
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Charlie, thank you! I appreciate your stopping by to read and review. John
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You're welcome, John
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Thank you for your review and comments, John. Charlie
Comment from risktaker
Live and learn. Keep a positive attitude no matter what. Do your best each game and work on correcting your errors.A wonderful game, a great activity, and a great example of team work and being a team player.Excellent word choice. Message well expressed.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2015
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Live and learn. Keep a positive attitude no matter what. Do your best each game and work on correcting your errors.A wonderful game, a great activity, and a great example of team work and being a team player.Excellent word choice. Message well expressed.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2015
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Thank you very much, risktaker. I appreciate you stopping by. John
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ok
Comment from Dawn Munro
Wow!!! This is a fabulous play-by-play, and so very creative an idea - a six sentence story - wow!!! Just one tiny nit (I think - though punctuation is not my strongest suit) - a comma here: "...inspiration grew(,) giving them reason..."
I loved it! Absolutely charming! Sheesh, this is six-worthy and I have none left this week.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2015
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Wow!!! This is a fabulous play-by-play, and so very creative an idea - a six sentence story - wow!!! Just one tiny nit (I think - though punctuation is not my strongest suit) - a comma here: "...inspiration grew(,) giving them reason..."
I loved it! Absolutely charming! Sheesh, this is six-worthy and I have none left this week.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2015
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Dawn, thank you for this great review. I appreciate your time. A virtual six accompsnied by your commentary, I'll take any day of the week.
Thanks again, john
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Very much my pleasure. :)
Comment from Wabigoon
jmdg--
Not sure I understand what this is thus it is very hard to comment on. Aluminum Splinters is clever I have to say. But aside from that there is not much to comment on. Sorry.
Wabigoon
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2015
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jmdg--
Not sure I understand what this is thus it is very hard to comment on. Aluminum Splinters is clever I have to say. But aside from that there is not much to comment on. Sorry.
Wabigoon
Comment Written 06-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2015
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I guess you do not follow baseball or have kids. Thanks for reading it anyway. John
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jmdg--
All that was printed when I went to your piece was one paragraph.
Is that the whole thing? That's what I meant.
I do follow baseball and used to play. But, as far as I could tell the whole piece wasn't there.
Wabigoon
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jmdg--
All that was printed when I went to your piece was one paragraph.
Is that the whole thing? That's what I meant.
I do follow baseball and used to play. But, as far as I could tell the whole piece wasn't there.
Wabigoon
Comment from lakeport
Aluminum splinters, indeed the exciting Baseball for young and old, another season staring soon, I enjoyed reading the story, God bless you. Lakeport.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2015
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Aluminum splinters, indeed the exciting Baseball for young and old, another season staring soon, I enjoyed reading the story, God bless you. Lakeport.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2015
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Thank you, lakeport for reading and reviewing. I do appreciate it.
John
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you are very welcome.lakeport.
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you are very welcome, Lakeport.
Comment from IndianaIrish
Nice mini story, John. You know I love the game, so I love reading BB stories. I'm getting excited opening day will be here soon. A couple of things to look at.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
self(-)proclaimed
Geist's textbook (on first read, Feist seemed like the title of the textbook. As a suggestion, maybe use Geist's first name so it tells immediately its a kid?)
These kids(,) who literally
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2015
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Nice mini story, John. You know I love the game, so I love reading BB stories. I'm getting excited opening day will be here soon. A couple of things to look at.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
self(-)proclaimed
Geist's textbook (on first read, Feist seemed like the title of the textbook. As a suggestion, maybe use Geist's first name so it tells immediately its a kid?)
These kids(,) who literally
Comment Written 06-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2015
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Thank, Karyn for reading. We had another 8 inches of snow yesterday. I'm so tired of snow. At least baseball is back!!
Thanks for the corrections. I used Geist to bunt because that's the name on the uniform in the photo.
Thanks for shopping by. John
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
Wow! What a mouthful but a very creative achievement no less.
This would be an editor's dream. Lol.
I don't understand the game of baseball, but your running commentary
is surely enlightening to those who do.
:-) Shirley
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2015
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Wow! What a mouthful but a very creative achievement no less.
This would be an editor's dream. Lol.
I don't understand the game of baseball, but your running commentary
is surely enlightening to those who do.
:-) Shirley
Comment Written 06-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2015
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Thank you Shirley for such an encouraging review. John
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi John,
six sentences... six lines and you capture the condensed call down, like the game had just finished and I was hearing the re-cap from the man with the mike... really well done brother... still can't believe you injected that much excitement and build up in six lines... loved the ricochet... gotta hate that!
Well, I know one man that will be over-the-moon happy, that it's Baseball season...enjoy your time enjoying where you live... yeah, the smell of a mitt and cleats and I know your happy... Aluminum Splinters, great name!
With our thoughts we create,
a blow-by-blow,
James.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2015
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Hi John,
six sentences... six lines and you capture the condensed call down, like the game had just finished and I was hearing the re-cap from the man with the mike... really well done brother... still can't believe you injected that much excitement and build up in six lines... loved the ricochet... gotta hate that!
Well, I know one man that will be over-the-moon happy, that it's Baseball season...enjoy your time enjoying where you live... yeah, the smell of a mitt and cleats and I know your happy... Aluminum Splinters, great name!
With our thoughts we create,
a blow-by-blow,
James.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2015
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My oldest son (now 32) coined that phrase for me years ago. Growing up he was one of the best ball players in our town. As he got older and played on more traveling teams he became more average and spent a little more time on the bench. An aluminum bench. Hence the name.
That would be a great book title. But I think it's time I work on my dream book on baseball... Beep baseball is nationwide and is solely for the blind. That's correct, blind people playing baseball.
I'm doing some due diligence on it and I there is a local team in one of the leagues. I may reach out to them once ALL this snow goes away. To much snow the last 45 days.
Oh well my brother. You're probably getting tired of hearing from me. Thank you for the greatest of reviews. I do appreciate it, as always.
Be well... John
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Never tire of hearing from you brother... heard of Beep Baseball... didn't know it was called that, but I saw something on the idiot-box... A doco or something a couple of years back... bloody amazing! It's truly great that there are so many different sports including the disadvantaged these days... although you wouldn't think that after seeing them perform... like I said, bloody amazing... And yeah, Aluminum Splinters, magic name for a book!... take care Bro... hope that snow melts quickly!
Comment from giraffmang
Hello there,
This was a nice little slice of sports fiction. Although baseball is not big here I do w=have a small gasp on the fundamentals! A well written piece that reads like a newspaper article on the game, only less effusive!
It also reminds me a bit of all those 'inspirational' sports movies that Disney used to be so fond of.
Nicely done.
GMG
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2015
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Hello there,
This was a nice little slice of sports fiction. Although baseball is not big here I do w=have a small gasp on the fundamentals! A well written piece that reads like a newspaper article on the game, only less effusive!
It also reminds me a bit of all those 'inspirational' sports movies that Disney used to be so fond of.
Nicely done.
GMG
Comment Written 06-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2015
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Thank you GMG. And where is "here"?
I appreciate your time to read and review. John
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Hi John,
Here is the United Kingdom
LOL