When Blood Collides
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "The Fatal Telephone Call"A family's love is tested.
31 total reviews
Comment from Eigle Rull
Wow! This was very well written, as usual. You put me into the action as a viewer. It is like watching a TV show, only better because I get to imagine my own images. This was really good. I could feel the emotion all around.
It sounds to me that even with her high education, Barb has the mind of a child - a spoiled child. It is funny to me that she was able to get a loan for what she needed, so why did she bother her mother. Probably because poor mom wouldn't expect to be repaid.
You are a saint to be able to withstand the urge to go kick in your sister's teeth. I am proud of the lady you are, my friend.
Always with respect,
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015
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Wow! This was very well written, as usual. You put me into the action as a viewer. It is like watching a TV show, only better because I get to imagine my own images. This was really good. I could feel the emotion all around.
It sounds to me that even with her high education, Barb has the mind of a child - a spoiled child. It is funny to me that she was able to get a loan for what she needed, so why did she bother her mother. Probably because poor mom wouldn't expect to be repaid.
You are a saint to be able to withstand the urge to go kick in your sister's teeth. I am proud of the lady you are, my friend.
Always with respect,
Comment Written 25-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015
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Thanks, Eigle. She made enough to get a loan, but why if she could get it for free?
Comment from alexisleech
You hear of this scenario so often, and it's heart-breaking to everyone involved. I think you were very fair in your response to Barbara's phone call. You didn't show any resentment when you suggested your mother sleep on it. In Barbara's eyes, she saw you being twenty thousand better off on the basis that when your mother passed, your house would hopefully be at least that amount more valuable, but that's a really fair trade off considering you were looking after her, thereby saving what it would cost if she went into a home. It must have been horrible for your mum to be cut off like that, especially at her age.
Alexis x
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015
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You hear of this scenario so often, and it's heart-breaking to everyone involved. I think you were very fair in your response to Barbara's phone call. You didn't show any resentment when you suggested your mother sleep on it. In Barbara's eyes, she saw you being twenty thousand better off on the basis that when your mother passed, your house would hopefully be at least that amount more valuable, but that's a really fair trade off considering you were looking after her, thereby saving what it would cost if she went into a home. It must have been horrible for your mum to be cut off like that, especially at her age.
Alexis x
Comment Written 25-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015
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As long as Bobby kept us informed, Mom tried not to worry about it. Wish I could remember the smaller details but guess I was too busy keeping up with school work.
Comment from Muffins
This chapter exposed two things: the dark side of family & people with numerous titles & degrees don't always have the best common sense. I appreciate this chapter shows the reader what happen instead of telling it. the reader can slip into the drama & emotions everyone is feeling . The wait for this chapter was worth it.
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015
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This chapter exposed two things: the dark side of family & people with numerous titles & degrees don't always have the best common sense. I appreciate this chapter shows the reader what happen instead of telling it. the reader can slip into the drama & emotions everyone is feeling . The wait for this chapter was worth it.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015
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What a super review, Muffins. Glad you picked up on the common sense issue. My mother knew that too.
Comment from maggieadams
Her voice plunging like a tidal wave...great simile. Sisters and mom complex, I call it...a vicious circle when one sister is a bully, using guilt, playing on a mom's weaknesses. I am sorry you have had to deal with this. So well written.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2015
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Her voice plunging like a tidal wave...great simile. Sisters and mom complex, I call it...a vicious circle when one sister is a bully, using guilt, playing on a mom's weaknesses. I am sorry you have had to deal with this. So well written.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2015
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Thanks so much for noting the simile. I'm not that good at thinking them up. And thanks for the exceptional rating. I never thought of Barb as a bully, but you may be right.
Comment from Louise Michelle
Hi Shari,
'...and worked on her doctorate as well as her love life' is a great line.
Hm...me thinks Sis might be self-centered. Now I know she is (hanging up).
Am confused about phone being disconnected. Can you do it that fast?
Perhaps time has passed, in which case add something like 'a few days later.'
I'd have more comments, but I don't want to trash your sister.
Hugs,
Lou
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015
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Hi Shari,
'...and worked on her doctorate as well as her love life' is a great line.
Hm...me thinks Sis might be self-centered. Now I know she is (hanging up).
Am confused about phone being disconnected. Can you do it that fast?
Perhaps time has passed, in which case add something like 'a few days later.'
I'd have more comments, but I don't want to trash your sister.
Hugs,
Lou
Comment Written 25-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015
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Methinks you may be right. My memory is hazy on time sequence. I changed it to having her call back the next day. As for one sister, she had a tough life. I felt sorry for her. Ironically, she died of bile duct cancer at 65. The doctor said the cells had started thirteen years ago which coincides with this event.
Comment from mountainwriter49
Hi, Shari,
OK, FINALLY the next chapter. Thank you! :-) I zipped though this pretty quickly and shook my head. It reminded me of crap in my own family. Money. Greed. Selfish behavior, etc. Yep. You're writing is a superb expose on the American Family for sure. When is the next chapter releasing?
I found only one small SPAG, noted below.
University in Buffalo[,] New York
I'm enjoying this series, so a six for superb, crisp writing and being able to keep my attention in prose.
-Ray
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015
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Hi, Shari,
OK, FINALLY the next chapter. Thank you! :-) I zipped though this pretty quickly and shook my head. It reminded me of crap in my own family. Money. Greed. Selfish behavior, etc. Yep. You're writing is a superb expose on the American Family for sure. When is the next chapter releasing?
I found only one small SPAG, noted below.
University in Buffalo[,] New York
I'm enjoying this series, so a six for superb, crisp writing and being able to keep my attention in prose.
-Ray
Comment Written 25-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015
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That I can keep you riveted to a prose piece it even better than getting the six! Expose on the American Family. Yep, we all have our stories to tell. I have a couple of other pieces I need to finish writing, but hopefully I'll find for this ongoing story by Thursday.
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Well, hurry it up! I'm a'waitin'!
-Ray
Comment from judiverse
This is really going along smoothly. I'm no stranger to family quarrels, but not ones that last such a long time, like this one did. How ironic that your mother had changed her mind about the loan, but Barbara never heard of it. What a hasty action on your sister's part. Great description of your mother's reactions. Amazing the Barbara told Bobby not to let you and your mother know anything about what she was doing. Good thing you had Bobby to keep in touch. judi
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015
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This is really going along smoothly. I'm no stranger to family quarrels, but not ones that last such a long time, like this one did. How ironic that your mother had changed her mind about the loan, but Barbara never heard of it. What a hasty action on your sister's part. Great description of your mother's reactions. Amazing the Barbara told Bobby not to let you and your mother know anything about what she was doing. Good thing you had Bobby to keep in touch. judi
Comment Written 25-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015
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I noticed the irony too. Barb has brains but not common sense. She'd hung up on me once when I innocently offended her. I called back because she was so upset. When she didn't answer, all I could think was suicide. I called the police in her city and asked them to check on her. Man! She called me back an hour later, furious that I had done such a thing.
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Barbara must have had an unhappy life. If she couldn't get along with her own family, she must have failed at other relationships as well. judi
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According to numerology, anyone born on the 28th of a month has problems with relationships. Barb's Bday was January 28th.
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She seemed to manage her career just fine. Guess that's different from family, though. judi
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She excelled in her profession. Over 200 went to her Memorial Service. The University set up a scholarship in her name.
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She must have poured everything into her career. Still, that doesn't really make up for not having family around. judi
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My daughter is doing the same thing. Three thousand miles away and a week's phone call is all we get. (interesting because she didn't like my sister, but she's like her in so many ways. Wonder if that subconsciously means she doesn't like herself either)
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So many people are into Facebook and all the social media. If you aren't "with it," even an E-mail becomes too much. judi
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I hear you. I say "Get a life!"
Comment from c_lucas
For some, "It's me first, the hell with the family." This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read.
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015
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For some, "It's me first, the hell with the family." This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015
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That was the case with Barbara. I loved her, but didn't always like her. My mother admitted to feeling the same way. Thanks for the read and review, my friend.
Comment from punster
Hello Spitfire.
Having seen this portion but not the preceding five pieces I nevertheless enjoyed the story snippet you presented. I found it entertaining and fascinating. I wanted it to continue and felt a sense of being prematurely dissociated from something I still wanted to hold to!
This is NOT a negative...like a good serial yarn, the ending should leave the reader WANTING to see what comes next.
It was short...not a bad thing; the language and spelling was very good and I am left wanting more...not suffering from verbal indigestion!
Good stuff Spitfire
Punster
(Owen)
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2015
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Hello Spitfire.
Having seen this portion but not the preceding five pieces I nevertheless enjoyed the story snippet you presented. I found it entertaining and fascinating. I wanted it to continue and felt a sense of being prematurely dissociated from something I still wanted to hold to!
This is NOT a negative...like a good serial yarn, the ending should leave the reader WANTING to see what comes next.
It was short...not a bad thing; the language and spelling was very good and I am left wanting more...not suffering from verbal indigestion!
Good stuff Spitfire
Punster
(Owen)
Comment Written 25-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2015
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Thanks for the wonderful accolades, Owen. Wanting more is good!
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It is MY pleasure Spitfire
Comment from gypsycaravan
Ah, family dynamics. We've all had our share of those. So sad that your mom had to be the recipient of your sister's wrath, though, in her final years. I think mom's often take unhealthy and unfair blows because they WILL. We never want our kids to be mad at us. I'm looking forward to more of the story and hope your mom gets her happy ending. Funny how you have favorite authors on this site, because you like how or what they write. When I see Spitfire in my message list, it is one of the first I open to review. :-) Keep writing, my friend. I know things are not easy at your home right now with hubby's difficulties. I do pray for you both.
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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015
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Ah, family dynamics. We've all had our share of those. So sad that your mom had to be the recipient of your sister's wrath, though, in her final years. I think mom's often take unhealthy and unfair blows because they WILL. We never want our kids to be mad at us. I'm looking forward to more of the story and hope your mom gets her happy ending. Funny how you have favorite authors on this site, because you like how or what they write. When I see Spitfire in my message list, it is one of the first I open to review. :-) Keep writing, my friend. I know things are not easy at your home right now with hubby's difficulties. I do pray for you both.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015
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What a wonderful compliment, gypsy. I do wish I had more uninterrupted time to write. It's almost ten p.m. when Frank's in bed that I can catch up.