THE TRINING Book Three
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "DECISION ON THE PLAIN OF DJUR (Pt 2)"JOURNEY INTO REDEMPTION
22 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
You left a fantastic hook here. I can't wait to see what his decision is. It doesn't sound good, but is necessary. Another good job of writing.
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reply by the author on 10-Nov-2014
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You left a fantastic hook here. I can't wait to see what his decision is. It doesn't sound good, but is necessary. Another good job of writing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2014
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Thank you Barbara. It isn't good, but is necessary.
Comment from mmjg65
A story that reads this well makes writing look so darn easy. You impart a great deal of information about plot development and back history in few words. Descriptions are succinct yet paint vivid pictures. Your talent for building a picture of the world you created and those who people it is finely honed.
"They dragged the corpses to the side of the road, then pushed (them) down into the ravine". Missing word?
Also. in the story you refer to the AIMs as Advanced Intelligent Man, and Advance Intelligent Man, but in the cast you refer to them as Advance Intelligence Men. I'm fairly certain you mean the latter, but I'm not sure.
Looking forward to the next one! -Mark
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2014
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A story that reads this well makes writing look so darn easy. You impart a great deal of information about plot development and back history in few words. Descriptions are succinct yet paint vivid pictures. Your talent for building a picture of the world you created and those who people it is finely honed.
"They dragged the corpses to the side of the road, then pushed (them) down into the ravine". Missing word?
Also. in the story you refer to the AIMs as Advanced Intelligent Man, and Advance Intelligent Man, but in the cast you refer to them as Advance Intelligence Men. I'm fairly certain you mean the latter, but I'm not sure.
Looking forward to the next one! -Mark
Comment Written 10-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2014
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Thank you, Mark, so much for your 6 stars. Geez! Yes, I forgot the "them". I had changed it from the passive to active voice and didn't reread the finished product afterwards. Good catch. I'll have to see where I used Advanced Intelligent Man. Of course that would refer to one of the Advanced Intelligent MEN. In the original chapter (before I posted it) I had used AIM, but felt the new reader might need it "spelled out". It's conceivable I used MAN. I'll check it out. Thanks for bringing that to my attention as well. You da bomb! And I don't use that compliment indiscriminately.