THE TRINING Book Three
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "ZILTINAUR'S BAG O' GIFTS (Pt 2)"JOURNEY INTO REDEMPTION
26 total reviews
Comment from rjpurdy
Holy crap! What a fantastic piece of writing. So fluid and smoothe, I had to race through this as fast as I could. The writing so well penned that the image is still burned in my brain. Captivating and original. All I can do is throw adjectives at you and they all fall short. I simply want more Jay...now! I will leave you with WOW.
~Peace~ Rod
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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Holy crap! What a fantastic piece of writing. So fluid and smoothe, I had to race through this as fast as I could. The writing so well penned that the image is still burned in my brain. Captivating and original. All I can do is throw adjectives at you and they all fall short. I simply want more Jay...now! I will leave you with WOW.
~Peace~ Rod
Comment Written 09-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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Ah-HA! I'm thrilled you enjoyed this chapter. It was one of my favorites, and I spent a ton of time on the leg-hacking scene. I appreciate your kindness!
Comment from Antoine Charlemaine
Noooooo! You can't stop there! That's just cruel...
What a gripping chapter, Jay. I loved it. Your detail is so, well, detailed! I loved your description of Ziltinaur's demise. Vivid and riveting.
I must admit, though, I got a little lost in the paragraph about Axtilla. Don't worry, it's probably just me.
Can't wait to find out what was/is in the bag. Great cliff-hanger, Jay.
Anthony
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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Noooooo! You can't stop there! That's just cruel...
What a gripping chapter, Jay. I loved it. Your detail is so, well, detailed! I loved your description of Ziltinaur's demise. Vivid and riveting.
I must admit, though, I got a little lost in the paragraph about Axtilla. Don't worry, it's probably just me.
Can't wait to find out what was/is in the bag. Great cliff-hanger, Jay.
Anthony
Comment Written 09-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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First of all, bless you for the lovely 6 stars. I am thrilled! Unfortunately, anyone who hadn't read book III from the beginning (or actually, also the last two chapters of book II) the allusion to Axtilla would be lost on him. Suffice it to say, she is Doctrex's love and she is Rhuether's prisoner. She fuels Doctrex, but (if and) when Doctrex faces Rhuether Axtilla will be the prize. Until then, I hope there is much to enjoy!
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She sounds like something worth fighting for... :) Looking forward to it.
Comment from JackiO
You really know how to leave a girl
wanting more.......
A latch? A bomb? Something really nasty?
mmm enjoying as always!
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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You really know how to leave a girl
wanting more.......
A latch? A bomb? Something really nasty?
mmm enjoying as always!
Comment Written 09-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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Hahaha! That's what she said! Unfortunately. So that's what she meant by that! LOL, thanks, JackiO. I'm so pleased you enjoyed reading it. I tried to make it as graphic as possible, while still maintaining the humor.
Comment from amahra
Nice action chapter. Description of the attack on Ziltinaur was very sophisticated and a bit over my head. Smile. Loved some of the language, though.
"...and his hound, standing on his right side, seemed to be communicating with him through his yips and yelps,[I like this description]
to smile into the ten feet that now separated us[I don't get this line]?
I swung my sword that--[compared] relative to its target--was [no more then a dagger] more the size of a dagger--
The hound growled a deep vibrato[like the use of the word 'vibrato' here]
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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Nice action chapter. Description of the attack on Ziltinaur was very sophisticated and a bit over my head. Smile. Loved some of the language, though.
"...and his hound, standing on his right side, seemed to be communicating with him through his yips and yelps,[I like this description]
to smile into the ten feet that now separated us[I don't get this line]?
I swung my sword that--[compared] relative to its target--was [no more then a dagger] more the size of a dagger--
The hound growled a deep vibrato[like the use of the word 'vibrato' here]
Comment Written 09-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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to smile into the ten feet that now separated us [I was trying to convey the image of Ziltinaur's blindness. I'm kind of leaning toward your idea of "more the size of a dagger". I need to give it more thought. Thank you for reading this, Ama. You are important for my input.
Comment from Sankey
Yippeee! Lots of intrigue and drama and a wealth of unknown. You did good and held my attention on the mystery of it all my friend.
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reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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Yippeee! Lots of intrigue and drama and a wealth of unknown. You did good and held my attention on the mystery of it all my friend.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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I had a hunch you would like it, Geoff. I spent an incredible amount of time choreographing the leg hacking scene. I hope is was visually interesting.
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Visually I was right there imagining it all. I hope some production company gets their hand on this for Tv or something. Very Sci Fi hehe!
Comment from c_lucas
It looks as if Doctrex victory will no come completely free if carnage. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words. Good Imagery.
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reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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It looks as if Doctrex victory will no come completely free if carnage. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words. Good Imagery.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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Thank you, Charlie. The Good Imagery is a bonus, no?
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You're welcome, Jay. Charlie