The One You Never Notice
It Happens35 total reviews
Comment from MIKECON
Good storyline that was written with understanding and compassion.A joy to read the romantic sides of this piece.
The best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2014
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Good storyline that was written with understanding and compassion.A joy to read the romantic sides of this piece.
The best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2014
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Thank you very much
Comment from jmdg1954
"Silly boy, you're going to be an MVP."
Great ending line! Your story had depth. Not just told on the surface, it made the reader think ahead in the story line to what they thought might happen next.
Nicely written. Best of luck in the contest. John
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2014
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"Silly boy, you're going to be an MVP."
Great ending line! Your story had depth. Not just told on the surface, it made the reader think ahead in the story line to what they thought might happen next.
Nicely written. Best of luck in the contest. John
Comment Written 05-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2014
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Thank you very much
Comment from humpwhistle
A good story for the prompt, even if it is pretty predictable. I'm sure it's just a matter of personal style, but I wonder if the story doesn't bog down in a few places--especially since we all know where the story is headed already. Just a thought.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2014
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A good story for the prompt, even if it is pretty predictable. I'm sure it's just a matter of personal style, but I wonder if the story doesn't bog down in a few places--especially since we all know where the story is headed already. Just a thought.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 05-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2014
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Thank you very much. Yes, the ending was set by the prompt.
Comment from Bobby Jo
This was really good and had me intrigued all the way through. What a great story with an unexpected twist. All though this story could go into more. Wondering what Mike will do to her and is she scared for her life. Great story.
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This was really good and had me intrigued all the way through. What a great story with an unexpected twist. All though this story could go into more. Wondering what Mike will do to her and is she scared for her life. Great story.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2014
Comment from Cajungirl
What an absolutely fantastic unexpected romance story. Those punks will get what's coming to them. Jason will, too. LOL
I only wish I had a sixer left for this week. Bravo! This is a perfect contest entry. Best of luck.
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What an absolutely fantastic unexpected romance story. Those punks will get what's coming to them. Jason will, too. LOL
I only wish I had a sixer left for this week. Bravo! This is a perfect contest entry. Best of luck.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2014
Comment from seaglass
This is a really great story and well written. In today's world with so much bully type behavior, it's good to read one where someone's conscience leads her away from the control of such a person and that the good guy gets the girl.
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This is a really great story and well written. In today's world with so much bully type behavior, it's good to read one where someone's conscience leads her away from the control of such a person and that the good guy gets the girl.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2014
Comment from tfawcus
A most valuable player indeed, or so it seems! This, of all the entries, seems to me to fulfil the requirements best! You do a great job of creating empathy between the reader and Jason and we are there rooting for him as Karen gradually has a change of heart.
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A most valuable player indeed, or so it seems! This, of all the entries, seems to me to fulfil the requirements best! You do a great job of creating empathy between the reader and Jason and we are there rooting for him as Karen gradually has a change of heart.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2014
Comment from rmj09
This is an excellent read the development brings the reader forward. You can visualize Karen's surprise when she discovers who Jason is and was in her past. The focus of what she plans to do for Mike and to Jason. Her feelings for Jason become apparent and her protection of him is moving.
... has a new camera, so (chg they'll to there will) be lots of pictures."
You really did an excellent job, best of luck. I only wish I had 6*s or the ability to promote this work.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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This is an excellent read the development brings the reader forward. You can visualize Karen's surprise when she discovers who Jason is and was in her past. The focus of what she plans to do for Mike and to Jason. Her feelings for Jason become apparent and her protection of him is moving.
... has a new camera, so (chg they'll to there will) be lots of pictures."
You really did an excellent job, best of luck. I only wish I had 6*s or the ability to promote this work.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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Thank you very much.
Comment from sibhus
Good story, well written with an excellent pace that makes for a good read. I thought it was very believable as well. I can really see this happening. A great entry for the contest and good luck.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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Good story, well written with an excellent pace that makes for a good read. I thought it was very believable as well. I can really see this happening. A great entry for the contest and good luck.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Good story, though rather predictable. Well told, though. I really doubt they'd go that far so soon, or is that how kids are today, like wild animals?
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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Good story, though rather predictable. Well told, though. I really doubt they'd go that far so soon, or is that how kids are today, like wild animals?
Comment Written 04-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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Thank you. Yeah, they go that far, and then some.
