Steve's Poems for Kids
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Miss Melody and the Smileys"A collection of my children's poems
28 total reviews
Comment from Judy Couch
Nicely written poem. I like the rhyme and the thythm of it. I like the repetitious ideas. It sort of reminds me of a Dr. Seuss poem.
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
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Nicely written poem. I like the rhyme and the thythm of it. I like the repetitious ideas. It sort of reminds me of a Dr. Seuss poem.
Comment Written 17-May-2014
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
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Thanks, Judy.
Steve
Comment from Dean Kuch
Ha ha, this was fantabulous writing, Mystery Poet! A whimsical, musical adventure in the vein of the great Dr. Suess, set on the smiling, sunny shores of those beings known only as "the Smileys".
I loved the 'flea boat' (that was very good!) and the entire poem would definitely be adored by children of all ages.
Excellent work!
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
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Ha ha, this was fantabulous writing, Mystery Poet! A whimsical, musical adventure in the vein of the great Dr. Suess, set on the smiling, sunny shores of those beings known only as "the Smileys".
I loved the 'flea boat' (that was very good!) and the entire poem would definitely be adored by children of all ages.
Excellent work!
Comment Written 17-May-2014
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
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Dean, thanks for the wonderful review and the suitably nonsensical picture.
Steve
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Hah, you're welcome, Steve. I thought you might get a kick out of it. Crazy thing, ain't it?
Comment from JackiO
Loved it! I am sure someone whose understanding of English literature far superior to mine could give you a better crit on filler words etc. But me...I absolutely ate it up framjumptious word of it! Unbelievably creative!
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
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Loved it! I am sure someone whose understanding of English literature far superior to mine could give you a better crit on filler words etc. But me...I absolutely ate it up framjumptious word of it! Unbelievably creative!
Comment Written 17-May-2014
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
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Thanks for the enthusiastic review and welcome to FanStory.
Don't worry about the English literature knowledge - most people here just rely on their own feelings about a piece and yours are clear.
Steve
Comment from kiwijenny
I love every Seuss-y word....the galumphing the threadneedle three...
Adorable as can be...just joyfully delicious and silly as can be..
Kids will love the .......joy of it..
Beautiful
God bless
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
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I love every Seuss-y word....the galumphing the threadneedle three...
Adorable as can be...just joyfully delicious and silly as can be..
Kids will love the .......joy of it..
Beautiful
God bless
Comment Written 17-May-2014
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
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Jenny, thanks for the kind words - so glad you enjoyed this piece of nonsense - it was fun, wasn't it?
Steve
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So much fun.....I like being silly
Comment from RYME4U
What a delight this is to read. I enjoyed every whimsical word of it.It was fant-abulous and it rates a ten on my 'smiley meter" great job!
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
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What a delight this is to read. I enjoyed every whimsical word of it.It was fant-abulous and it rates a ten on my 'smiley meter" great job!
Comment Written 17-May-2014
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
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Thanks for the kind words.
Steve
Comment from mfowler
What a fine poem this is! You really know how to do it for kids. Firstly, the premise of a girl called 'Miss Melody Madison Millicent Moyes' (alliterative genius) is catchy, but the fact that she is muddled up in a world of such wacky characters is going to give the kids an immediate 'fun boost'. Secondly, the rhythm of the poem is superbly handled through great meter and rhyme. All those great made up silly names (eg Fandangle Four and the Threadneedle Three
To perform at the Smiley-Town Jam-Jamboree.) just adds to the fun. You've even chosen my favourite word for children's rhymes, 'kazoo', to include in your rhyme scheme. The ending is great as it rounds off the silliness with a happy ending which completes the preposterous narrative arc beautifully.
So she hopped on her ship and they hopped on their way
To the world of the Smileys who shouted, "Hooray!
Make music, Miss Melody -- sing, dance and play!"
And that's what she's doing to this very day.
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
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What a fine poem this is! You really know how to do it for kids. Firstly, the premise of a girl called 'Miss Melody Madison Millicent Moyes' (alliterative genius) is catchy, but the fact that she is muddled up in a world of such wacky characters is going to give the kids an immediate 'fun boost'. Secondly, the rhythm of the poem is superbly handled through great meter and rhyme. All those great made up silly names (eg Fandangle Four and the Threadneedle Three
To perform at the Smiley-Town Jam-Jamboree.) just adds to the fun. You've even chosen my favourite word for children's rhymes, 'kazoo', to include in your rhyme scheme. The ending is great as it rounds off the silliness with a happy ending which completes the preposterous narrative arc beautifully.
So she hopped on her ship and they hopped on their way
To the world of the Smileys who shouted, "Hooray!
Make music, Miss Melody -- sing, dance and play!"
And that's what she's doing to this very day.
Comment Written 17-May-2014
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
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Thank you for the wonderful review.
This was a fun poem to write - sometimes they just seem to flow out.
Steve
Comment from Domino 2
Wow, I'm glad my entry wasn't allowed as I've already entered two prompts this week as, after reading this, I reckon I'd have wasted my entry fee.
I'm out of sixers on a Saturday, but if ever a rhymed/metered fun kids poem deserved one - this is it!
Fabulous made up words and alliterated terms.
Brilliant flow and an absolute treat to read.
I usually lose interest in long poems, but this gripped me from start to finish.
I cannot see this being beaten.
Good luck and best wishes, Ted.
******
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reply by the author on 20-May-2014
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Wow, I'm glad my entry wasn't allowed as I've already entered two prompts this week as, after reading this, I reckon I'd have wasted my entry fee.
I'm out of sixers on a Saturday, but if ever a rhymed/metered fun kids poem deserved one - this is it!
Fabulous made up words and alliterated terms.
Brilliant flow and an absolute treat to read.
I usually lose interest in long poems, but this gripped me from start to finish.
I cannot see this being beaten.
Good luck and best wishes, Ted.
******
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-May-2014
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
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Thanks, Ted - I appreciate your kind words - and yes I managed a win.
Steve
Comment from casini
Really enjoyed your joyful poem, I specially loved reading the last stanza
So she hopped on her ship and they hopped on their way
To the world of the Smileys who shouted, "Hooray!
Make music, Miss Melody -- sing, dance and play!"
And that's what she's doing to this very day.
Best wishes for the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
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Really enjoyed your joyful poem, I specially loved reading the last stanza
So she hopped on her ship and they hopped on their way
To the world of the Smileys who shouted, "Hooray!
Make music, Miss Melody -- sing, dance and play!"
And that's what she's doing to this very day.
Best wishes for the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-May-2014
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
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Thanks so much for the kind words.
Steve