Wine, Women and Longing
A Sonnet35 total reviews
Comment from GWHARGIS
Very rich and this appealed to many senses. I love the imagery especially how the woman was like a fine wine. Showed how love should be taken slowly and dealt with carefully. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 02-May-2014
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Very rich and this appealed to many senses. I love the imagery especially how the woman was like a fine wine. Showed how love should be taken slowly and dealt with carefully. Nicely done.
Comment Written 02-May-2014
reply by the author on 02-May-2014
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Thank you so much, GW. I really appreciate it.
Comment from MagKing
I must say you're one exceptional writer!
I love this piece.
A fine Shakespearean sonnet of love.
I like the metaphors and use of words.
The poem is faultless with its description and rhyming, except for the syllable count; there were some with eleven and most with ten.
Great write!
MagKing
reply by the author on 02-May-2014
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I must say you're one exceptional writer!
I love this piece.
A fine Shakespearean sonnet of love.
I like the metaphors and use of words.
The poem is faultless with its description and rhyming, except for the syllable count; there were some with eleven and most with ten.
Great write!
MagKing
Comment Written 02-May-2014
reply by the author on 02-May-2014
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Hi Mag! Thanks so much for your kind words and great review. Eleven syllables are actually allowable when you end a line with an unstressed syllable. Thanks again!
Comment from Hadria
I've been sitting here reading this over and over, trying to think of something unbanal (spell check says I can't say'unbanal') - well I just have - and some lines were flitting around in my belfry, not my lines, alas, Robert Louis Stevenson wrote them; they say what I want to say
"Bright is the ring of words
When the right man rings them,
Fair the fall of words
When the singer sings them.
Still they are caroled and said
On wings they are carried
After the singer is dead
and the maker buried."
and I'm fresh out of sixes, dammit! Hadria
If I could I'd give it two lots of five :)
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reply by the author on 02-May-2014
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I've been sitting here reading this over and over, trying to think of something unbanal (spell check says I can't say'unbanal') - well I just have - and some lines were flitting around in my belfry, not my lines, alas, Robert Louis Stevenson wrote them; they say what I want to say
"Bright is the ring of words
When the right man rings them,
Fair the fall of words
When the singer sings them.
Still they are caroled and said
On wings they are carried
After the singer is dead
and the maker buried."
and I'm fresh out of sixes, dammit! Hadria
If I could I'd give it two lots of five :)
/
Comment Written 02-May-2014
reply by the author on 02-May-2014
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You're very sweet, my friend, and I truly appreciate your kind words and virtual sixer, as well as sharing that verse. Thank you.
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Aaaaaaaaaah! I'm not often called sweet! Hugs, Hadria.
Comment from Njorgensen
This is very well written. It is a unique way of expressing your feelings and I think it's a wonderful approach. I really like this piece.
Njorgensen
reply by the author on 02-May-2014
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This is very well written. It is a unique way of expressing your feelings and I think it's a wonderful approach. I really like this piece.
Njorgensen
Comment Written 02-May-2014
reply by the author on 02-May-2014
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Thank you very much for the great review.
Comment from tfawcus
A heady draught indeed and amusing sustained metaphor. It seems that we should treat our women and our wine with equal respect! Winter has set in here now and I have just taken delivery of a dozen bottles of fine reds from Langhorne Creek, which I shall imbibe with caution and your sonnet in mind, so that I can withstand those "blinding shafts of morning light"!
reply by the author on 02-May-2014
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A heady draught indeed and amusing sustained metaphor. It seems that we should treat our women and our wine with equal respect! Winter has set in here now and I have just taken delivery of a dozen bottles of fine reds from Langhorne Creek, which I shall imbibe with caution and your sonnet in mind, so that I can withstand those "blinding shafts of morning light"!
Comment Written 01-May-2014
reply by the author on 02-May-2014
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Thank you so much, Tony, for your great review. Yes, I've had my share of those mornings, but do tip a glass for me, too.
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Dear David - You've done a great job on this love sonnet. I never can figure these forms out but enjoy reading them, especially when penned with your skill.
Steamy write and with that wine us ladies may need some ice :)
Thanks for sharing.
Maureen
reply by the author on 02-May-2014
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Dear David - You've done a great job on this love sonnet. I never can figure these forms out but enjoy reading them, especially when penned with your skill.
Steamy write and with that wine us ladies may need some ice :)
Thanks for sharing.
Maureen
Comment Written 01-May-2014
reply by the author on 02-May-2014
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Thank you so much, my friend. Nice to be back after a respite, and I hope you're well. I saw a post or something that said you weren't feeling well? Anyway, thank you. Ice up. More to come. ;)
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I have MS - it is brutal at times:) I've sold my house and packing to move this weekend is the big day. Bloody exhausting so that may have been part and parcel of ripple.
Icing up and getting ready for rocket fuel.
Hugs
m
Comment from MAB
Wow very sensual. Makes me want to sharpen up the sword and script another letter of my own. I appreciate you sharing this. Keep up the good work my friend your writing is excellent.
reply by the author on 02-May-2014
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Wow very sensual. Makes me want to sharpen up the sword and script another letter of my own. I appreciate you sharing this. Keep up the good work my friend your writing is excellent.
Comment Written 01-May-2014
reply by the author on 02-May-2014
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Thank you very much, SaM-PO. Pick up that pen, my friend.
Comment from Tatarka2
I just don't feel I can give you another 6 this week - but this poem should really get one. I was looking it over to see which lines I would want to quote as my favorite - but I can't pick. Oh, well - if it's that good, it deserves a 6. I don't know that I would change anything, it seems to be a completely formed and perfect thought in itself, with just enough subtle rhyme, in keeping with the subject matter, and lovely use of alliteration - again, very subtle. I have to give you a 6 for this one.
reply by the author on 02-May-2014
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I just don't feel I can give you another 6 this week - but this poem should really get one. I was looking it over to see which lines I would want to quote as my favorite - but I can't pick. Oh, well - if it's that good, it deserves a 6. I don't know that I would change anything, it seems to be a completely formed and perfect thought in itself, with just enough subtle rhyme, in keeping with the subject matter, and lovely use of alliteration - again, very subtle. I have to give you a 6 for this one.
Comment Written 01-May-2014
reply by the author on 02-May-2014
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Thank you very much, my friend, for your sweet comments and that sixer, which I greatly appreciate it. :)
Comment from Kenneth Schaal
A perfect classy, and clever sonnet writ in excellent meter and with pristine rhymes--and did I mention, wit? I like that you make the distinction between guzzling and sipping. Six star issue. Kenny
reply by the author on 02-May-2014
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A perfect classy, and clever sonnet writ in excellent meter and with pristine rhymes--and did I mention, wit? I like that you make the distinction between guzzling and sipping. Six star issue. Kenny
Comment Written 01-May-2014
reply by the author on 02-May-2014
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Thank you very much, Kenny. Most appreciated, for the great review and virtual sixer.
Comment from vapros
Excellent poetry, David. Your ardent love, expressed as a barrel of wine, works out perfectly in your verse. The lady must be well pleased. Good reading.
Bill
reply by the author on 02-May-2014
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Excellent poetry, David. Your ardent love, expressed as a barrel of wine, works out perfectly in your verse. The lady must be well pleased. Good reading.
Bill
Comment Written 01-May-2014
reply by the author on 02-May-2014
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Thank you so much, Bill. I appreciate it!
