Reviews from

Along the Jericho Road

Viewing comments for Chapter 46 "Okoka Moon, Part 1"
Murder Mystery

49 total reviews 
Comment from robina1978
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

After searching so long they find the killer after he killed somebody. Scary chapter this one and well written. I liked it and saw no SPAGS.

 Comment Written 17-Sep-2013


reply by the author on 17-Sep-2013
    Thanks much, Ine. Very nice to hear from you! :0) Bev
reply by robina1978 on 17-Sep-2013
    welcome Bev, nice to find an other chapter.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2013
    Thanks again, Ine. :0)
Comment from sweetwoodjax
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

this is very well written, writingfundimension, you did an excellent job writing this chapter where the director of the senior center lets the priest know one of her patients is having visions of fritz buell.

 Comment Written 17-Sep-2013


reply by the author on 17-Sep-2013
    Thank you very much, sweet. I appreciate your supportive review! :0) Bev
Comment from Norbanus
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A scary segment to get us in the mood for the Halloween season. The Devil living in the Rectory, eh? That ought to keep the priest on his toes. You scene description is excellent, especially in showing thoughts during communion And when George Lutz stopped breathing.

 Comment Written 17-Sep-2013


reply by the author on 17-Sep-2013
    Thanks so much, N. I appreciate the great review. :0) Bev
Comment from Adri7enne
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Wow girl! I forgot where I was there for a minute. Scary stuff. An evil emanation. It appeared from under the door. That was hair raising. Great chapter. Gave me shivers. Well done, Bev.

 Comment Written 16-Sep-2013


reply by the author on 16-Sep-2013
    Oh, I feel good knowing the chapter met with your approval, Adrienne. Really, you are a good barometer for me on whether I'm on track. That's cuz you are such a talented writer and shrewd reviewer. Thanks so much, my friend.

    Hugs, Bev
Comment from Dawn Munro
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Oh my God, this was SO frightening, my friend, and I don't scare easily! (It's my genre, and I love it!) Bev, this was just fantastic! Geez, woman you are SO good! Here's my last six! OUTSTANDING! SUPERB! Stephen, baby, move over!

 Comment Written 16-Sep-2013


reply by the author on 16-Sep-2013
    Dawn, thank you so much! I'm so grateful for our awesomely generous and supportive review. It means a lot to me that you enjoyed it, because I do think you have a real talent for the horror genre. More creepiness to come in part two. Hugs, Bev
reply by Dawn Munro on 16-Sep-2013
    Oh, I don't know how great I am at writing it, but it's my favorite to read! I'll be on the lookout, my friend. Can't wait!!!
Comment from Joy Graham
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I enjoyed the image of the old folks in wheel chairs receiving communion. David used to lead church services in a personal care home so I could I imagine it very well. He used to have to wake them up at various stages of the service.

Another suspense filled chapter. Interesting that the vision was so eerie and on the money. Can't wait for more!

 Comment Written 16-Sep-2013


reply by the author on 16-Sep-2013
    Joy, thank you for your great review. I'm thrilled that my chapter had an authentic feel for you. I used my own memories of my Dad's time in the nursing home for inspiration, so it was cool that it jibed with your experience.

    Your generosity is so appreciated. You make me want to sit down and churn out another chapter.

    I appreciate you, Joy.

    Hugs, Bev
Comment from MM lives on :)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Bev, excellent twist and plot here as the story continues, the dialogue and realism of the church is compelling and so well scripted.

Bravo and take a bow :) !

 Comment Written 16-Sep-2013


reply by the author on 16-Sep-2013
    Hey, Christopher. Thank you, my friend, for this gracious and generous review. Glad you liked it! :0) Bev
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You did a good job writing this post. The characters are well defined, the dialogue flowed naturally and the plot remained in tack. Good job.

 Comment Written 16-Sep-2013


reply by the author on 16-Sep-2013
    Barbara, thank you so much for this very generous review. I really appreciate the support and encouragement. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from donkeyoatey
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Amazing tension, and a bit of a question, we are still wondering who really is the "bad" guy here? nice way to keep the people moving and developing in character. thanks so mucj for choosing my artwork. Donkeyoatey

 Comment Written 16-Sep-2013


reply by the author on 16-Sep-2013
    Thanks so much for taking time to read the chapter, D. I'm honored to have your amazing artwork to enhance my story. The next part will lead us closer to knowing who (or what) we're dealing with. Kind regards, Bev
Comment from judiverse
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Glad I had a six left, as they've gone fast even this early in the week. This really sends the chills. You give a great description of Tender Care Senior Living when Father Brian goes to give communion. Two of the residents make a spectacle of themselves, and Maureen corners Father with her problem about George. She is so well described! It's really spooky when George tells of having an encounter with Fritz Buell's spirit saying he was murdered by a devil. Then it gets spookier when he says the Devil lives at the Rectory. What's a parish priest to do? Things get really tense when they learn that George has stopped breathing. You really packed the chills in this. judi

 Comment Written 16-Sep-2013


reply by the author on 16-Sep-2013
    Judi, thank you so much for your very generous review and rating. I know what you mean about those sixes, and appreciate your gift of one.

    The next part gets into what's behind the goings-on at the rectory, and I promise to make it as chilling as I possibly can LOL.

    Thanks again, my friend.

    Warmest regards, Bev
reply by judiverse on 16-Sep-2013
    You're so welcome. judi
reply by judiverse on 17-Sep-2013
    You're so welcome. I have kind of a chilling suspicion of what or who might be behind the happenings at the rectory. Wonder if I'll be right? judi
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2013
    I'll bet you are -- you're pretty darned sharp, Judi :0)